The trailer for King Cobra, based on the real-life murder of a gay porn producer, is out and I actually found myself saying, “I really want to put my eyeballs on this,” about a James Franco movie. It has everything: Gay porn! Man nipples! Sweaty asses! Molly Ringwald! – Towleroad

I wonder if Leonardo DiCatchAHo is going to make President Obama an honorary member of the Pussy Posse when they meet? – Lainey Gossip

The Nirvana baby once again recreated the “Nevermind” album cover (sans penis) – Celebitchy

Dear Miley Cyrus, can you please just keep stepping to your left until you’re out of the frame so that I can fully take in Billy Idol’s seasoned peroxide and charbroiled skin hotness – The Superficial 

The trailer for the new season of Vanderpump Rules is here and it should really be certified organic because it’s all just so real – Reality Tea 

Romance IS getting married by Lil Wayne under toilet paper decorations in prison – OMG Blog

Katharine McPhee is in a bikini – Popoholic

Ashley Graham is in a bikini made with her own arm and hand – Egotastic!

Magazines are still trying to make Hailey Baldwin happen – Drunken Stepfather

And yet, I’d still rather watch this bumbling ass  magician than Criss Angel – Hollywood Tuna

I hate 7th Heaven, but I love Catherine Hicks now – Jezebel

A strange thing happened the other day, Ashley Olsen went out into the sun and didn’t melt. The vampire gnomes are evolving! – WWTDD

The Kiss Cam landed on Amy Schumer and she did exactly what you would think she’d do – SOW

Hilary Duff  sort of “confirmed” that she’s doing her trainer full-time – Popsugar

What in craft project gone wrong HELL is Brit Brit Spears wearing? – IDLYITW

Pics of Owen Wilson’s nipples? Sure, I’ll take ’em! – Just Jared

And here comes 2016 to drag another relationship into the Love Is Dead Cemetery and bury it next to Brangelina’s marriage.

Well, this one hurts. Tall piece of emotionless hotness Ray Donovan (real name: Liev Schreiber) and Naomi Watts were at the Venice Film Festival earlier this month (see: pictures below) to pimp out their movie The Bleeder, and they were pretty much over as a couple at that point. Everyone is breaking up! They both put out a statement to everyone today saying that they’re separating after 11 years and politely told us nosy whores to please respect the “privacy please” sign hanging on the front door to their lives:

“Over the past few months we’ve come to the conclusion that the best way forward for us as a family is to separate as a couple. It is with great love, respect, and friendship in our hearts that we look forward to raising our children together and exploring this new phase of our relationship. While we appreciate your curiosity and support, we ask the press to be mindful of our children and respect their right to privacy.”

Liev and Naomi made two sons together: 9-year-old Alexander “Sasha” Pete and 7-year-old Samuel Kai.

Since it seems like nowadays two famous types can’t break up without some sort of ESCANDALO coming out, I won’t be too surprised if I have to use the “scandal” tag in a future post about Liev and Naomi. (And yes, I see those old “wandering peen” rumors and blind items winking at me.)

And if celebrity break-ups come in threes, I wonder who’s next? Beyonce and Jay-Z? Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson? Shauna Sand and Lucite heels ? (Why did I even put that out there?) That demonic cunt 2016 better not even look at Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. My almost-dead and frozen heart will really die and freeze over if Joanna and Dean from Overboard end their unbreakable love.

Pics: Wenn.com

Over the weekend, Debra Messing, Eric McCormack, Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally stuck the tip into Will & Grace fans by teasing some kind of reunion. While sipping from a child-sized Belina juice box, I threw a side-eye at their little tease, because a Will & Grace reunion is one hundred percent incomplete without Rosario! But they reunited anyway and now we may know why.

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I can only give Justin Theroux’s STAINS impersonation a C since he didn’t perfect it by making Jennifer Aniston hold up a platter full of cupcakes in front of him.

As Brangelina’s marriage gets buried under a pile of dead cherubs who lost their will to live after the meaning of everlasting love died, Jennifer Aniston and her wedded piece Justin Theroux went out to dinner in NYC. Justin, who wore a look straight from Hot Topic’s Cool Dad collection, is probably bulgy -eyed like that, because his skinny jeans are suffocating his low-hanging huevos and he’s feeling the pain.

Or maybe, just maybe, Justin’s eyeballs are trying to escape out of their sockets because his head is slowly exploding as the paparazzi shower them with flashes while asking Jennifer if she’s holding on to her man so tight because that home wrecking viper hussy Trampelina HOlie is single again and is going to snatch Justin up! No, the paps would never!

Pics: Splash

In 1995, angel-voiced legend and former aspiring casual wear mogul (RIP Koala Blue, never forget) Olivia Newton-John met a cameraman named Patrick McDermott. They dated off and on for almost ten years until Patrick disappeared during a fishing trip in California. Nobody really knows what happened except that Patrick was alone, it was nighttime, that he probably fell off his boat, and that he was most likely lost at sea. It was very weird.

Recently, a new layer of weird was added to the situation after a couple people claimed to have spotted Patrick – the real Patrick, not a merman version or ghost version of Patrick – being very much alive in Mexico. In fact, you don’t have to look very far to find people who believe that Patrick pulled a solo Double Jeopardy on his boat that night in an attempt to dodge some major money troubles. Olivia Newton-John must not know about those rumors….

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Tom Hiddleston may have almost collapsed his lungs when he breathed out a cyclone of relief after his contract with Taylor Swift expired, but well, he once again found himself getting upstaged in a picture by a blond bitch. Tom knows it too. If that isn’t a “Fuck me, this again” face, I don’t know what is.

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