Corey Feldman Has Vowed To Stop Talking About Corey Haim

/ September 27, 2016

Corey Haim’s mom Judy Haim threatened to sue the Michael Jackson-inspired bang tail right off of Corey Feldman’s head if he kept bringing up her son’s name in interviews. It looks like Judy Haim’s legal threat worked, because Corey Feldman has declared that he’s added the name “Corey Haim” to his mouth’s filter and promised to stop publicly talking about the horrific shit his late friend went through.

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Katy Perry Will Get Naked To Get You To Vote On November 8

/ September 27, 2016

A lot of famous people promised last week that if everyone got out on voting day and made sure that Donald Trump didn’t become the president we’d get to see Mark Ruffalo’s weiner. I figured that the guarantee of seeing DILF dick was enough to send everybody running to register, but there are clearly still some people out there who need convincing that they should vote on November 8th. Katy Perry’s got them covered. Which, ironically, she’s doing while covered only by black censor bars.

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A Very Pissed-Off Rob Kardashian Tweeted Kylie Jenner’s Phone Number (UPDATE)

/ September 27, 2016

The dustiest box of cake mix in the Kardashian’s metaphorical pantry Rob Kardashian managed to get a whole lot of attention for himself last night. Kongratulations, Rob! Or should I say kongratulations, Blac Chyna? Because Rob just found a way to make us pay attention to your relationship again. Last night, Rob got really upset at his younger sister Kylie Jenner. When normal people get mad at their siblings, they shoot bitchy texts back and forth until someone responds with an unintentionally hilarious autocorrect and they both laugh. But not the Kardashians! They throw it out into the world for everyone to see.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ September 27, 2016

Howard Dean, the former Governor of Vermont, 2004 presidential candidate, expert yeeeeeaaaaahowler and my personal MVP of last night’s battle-to-the-death presidential showdown.

If you watched all of last night’s first presidential debate, then you are probably reading this while laid up in the hospital for alcohol poisoning and patiently waiting for a surgeon to roll you into the operating room, cut you open, pull out your liver and ring out all the booze you guzzled down to deal with that mess. Donald Trump seemed to hold it together for approximately 45 seconds, but after taking a couple of baits dropped by Hillary Clinton, he turned into a  fidgety Sniffleupagus and acted like a nervous teenager at the family dinner table who just snorted coke for the first time but was trying to look like he didn’t just snort coke for the first time. The twitchy and leaky tanning bed-burnt ass blister blamed his sniffle-fest on the mic. To which Howard Dean probably said, “Your mic was a coke dealer?!”

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Birthday Sluts

/ September 27, 2016

Phoebe Price (forever and ever ageless)
Google (18)
Sam Lerner (24)
Thomas Mann (25)
Grace Helbig (31)
Avril Lavigne (32)
Anna Camp (34)
Lil Wayne (34)
Jason Wu (34)
Brad Arnold (38)
Carrie Brownstein (42)
Trick Daddy (43)
Gwyneth Paltrow (44)
Amanda Detmer (45)
Tamara Taylor (46)
Sofia Milos (47)
Patrick Muldoon (48)
Debi Derryberry (49)
Alexis Stewart (51)
Stephan Jenkins (52)
Marc Maron (53)
Andy Lau (55)
Shaun Cassidy (58)
Gail Edwards (64)
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (66)
A Martinez (66)
Liz Torres (69)
Meat Loaf (69)
Wilford Brimley (82)

Pic: Wenn.com

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