Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 15, 2010 / Posted by:


Because we’re all 6-year-olds pretending to be mature grown-ups, Asda supermarket is considering changing the name of their FAT BALLS bird food after employees have seen several shoppers laughing at it in the aisles. The balls of fat and seed sell for £1.38, and a spokeswhore for Asda tells The Sun that instead of changing the name completely they might just put it on a higher shelf. The spokeswhore added, “Colleagues have seen many shoppers emerging from the pet aisle with a smile on their face. Adults as well as kids have been caught sharing a giggle as well so we are considering covering the packaging on shelf or even giving the product a new name.”

It’s just FAT BALLS! Damn. What is this world coming to, because we know it’s not cumming to FAT BALLS anymore. It’s truly a sad day when laughing at FAT BALLS is frowned upon. This might be discrimination, because I doubt there would be a problem if it’s name was SKINNY BALLS. Anyways, the hos at Asda need to suck on a pair of FAT BALLS, because it’s not that serious. SAVE FAT BALLS!

But if Asda insists, they can always change the name to Lardy Testicles, or Greasy Sacks, or even Cisco Adlers. I’m sure nobody would laugh at that.


Birthday Sluts

March 15, 2010 / Posted by:

Sly Stone (67)
Eva Amurri (25)
Kellan Lutz (25) (35)
Eva Longoria (35)
Mark Hoppus (38)
Penny Lancaster (39)
Kim Raver (41)
Mark McGrath (42)
Bret Michaels (47)
Terence Trent D’Arby (48)
Fabio (51)
Renny Harlin (51)
Dee Snider (55)
David Cronenberg (67)
Judd Hirsch (75)


Toronto Will Pay For Corey Haim’s Funeral

March 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Corey Haim didn’t have much money in the bank at the time of his death, so his mother Judy asked for help to cover his funeral expenses. The city of Toronto heard her cry and has agreed to cover the costs of Corey’s funeral. Judy tells Access Hollywood that a memoribilia site named Starifacts also agreed to chip in $20,000 to pay for Corey’s tombstone, but she hasn’t received a check from them yet. They do know Western Union is open on Sundays, right?

The Haim family is also trying to raise money for Corey’s funeral by selling all of his belonging on eBay through family friend Scott Schwartz.

Corey’s funeral will be held on Tuesday in his hometown of Toronto.

You know who should really pay for Corey’s funeral? That troublemaking tramp Mercedes from License to Drive! She’s the one who got Corey in trouble, because she dented up the hood of his father’s car by getting drunk and passing out on it. Mercedes owes him!

via People


Lady Gaga Needs to Take A Nap

March 14, 2010 / Posted by:

During the final number of her show in Auckland, New Zealand last night, Lady Caca looked like she was ready to free her tuck, slip her dreamin’ wig on and go to bed! Lady Caca either:

a) Got weak because her tuck was too tight and it was cutting off the blood supply to the rest of her body.
b) She’s really the Alabama Leprechaun and decided to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day early by sniffing the wrong stuff again.
c) She just finished watching the Telephone video.
d) She was tired and had to go poo.
e) She was doing an impersonation of your drunk ass sitting at the club while trying not to pass out by dancing with only your upper body. That’s what we call the “It’s Time To Go The Fuck Home” jig.

I’m going to go with e. Obviously.

via ONTD


Aubrey O’Day Makes It So Easy

March 14, 2010 / Posted by:

If you’ve ever wanted to taste Aubrey O’Day’s creampie, you’re disgusting! But in addition to being gross, you’re also in luck because she now has her own milkshake over at Millions of Milkshakes in Los Angeles. Aubrey O’Day lives to pose with whipped cream like it’s a dollop of man milk, so thankfully for her a place like Millions of Milkshakes exists!

Aubrey followed up her computer-generated bukkake ad for Millions of Famewhores by creating a milkshake named after her. Aubrey’s delicious cup of wart puss contains milky sweat from Diddy’s over-moisturized nutsack, coagulated silicone from a leaky implant, two drops of red dog dye and one bottle of Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil. One sip of it will send you into ecstasy. One sip will also send you to quarantine by order of the Department of Health, but at least you’ll have one second of pleasure before that happens.

The launch party for Aubrey’s blended creampie brought out the likes of her tortured dogs, Quinton Aaron from The Blind Side, a pervy Elmo, and some refined royal lady who stopped by before meeting the Queen at Buckingham Palace for Hot Toddies (see last thumbnail).

George Clooney Cannot Stop Staring At Goats

March 14, 2010 / Posted by:

You would think that George Clooney got goat staring out of his system since he starred in a whole damn movie about it! But obviously George Clooney still develops a staring problem whenever there’s a goat around, because here he is harassing Brad Pitt’s beauty icon in Hawaii yesterday.

I mean, the goat is just trying to live its life, and George Clooney is not letting it because he keeps groping it with his eyes. Can’t it just sit on a lawn chair next to its house without some rude perv disrespecting its privacy? George, take a picture for your locker and move on! The goat knows it’s hot, but it’s not in the mood.

Here’s more pictures of George trying to pick up a goat yesterday. I also threw in a close-up of his feets for all you foot fetish freaks out there who get the leaks whenever you walk by the corn remover section at Duane-Reade.

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