The dude bro from the tribe of Jeff Spicoli who brought a little pride to my favorite state of Florida in their time of need!

A state of emergency has been declared in Florida, millions have been told to evacuate and FoxNews robot Shep Smith subtly warned people that if they don’t leave, the deadly Hurricane Matthew will kill them, kill everyone they know and kill their children too. But like fellow Florida douche jewel Vanilla Ice, this luxurious maned bro decided to stay and brave getting blown all the way to Texas (and not in a sexy way) so that he could shout out an important message on live TV.

Farron Salley of WPBF in West Palm Beach was reporting live at Juno Beach about Hurricane Matthew when the blond Shaun White messed with her report by shouting out, “Dicks out for Harambe!” It’s really nice to know that not even a hurricane can keep an activist (read: attention whore) from spreading an important message (read: meme). Farron politely told him to fuck off, laughed and went on as the anchor in the studio let viewers know who Harambe was.

Screaming “dicks out” on the local news is always going to get my stamp of approval, but I’m disappointed that he actually didn’t pull his dick out while screaming “dicks out.” Sure if he pulled out his dick for Haramabe, he’d risk Hurricane Matthew turning into Hurricane Lorena by ripping it off, but that’s the cause he chose to push. Commit!

(For Lane)

John Mellencamp (65)
Shiba Inu 6 (8)
Holland Roden (30)
Bree Olson (30)
Amber West (30)
Edison Chen (36)
Aaron Ashmore (37)
Shawn Ashmore (37)
Alesha Dixon (38)
Omar Benson Miller (38)
Taylor Hicks (40)
Tim Minchin (41)
Allison Munn (42)
Nicole Ari Parker (46)
Thom Yorke (48)
Toni Braxton (49)
Dan Savage (52)
Ann Curless of Expose (53)
Matthew Roloff (55)
Dylan Baker (57)
Simon Cowell (57)
Judy Landers (58)
Michael W. Smith (59)
Jayne Torvill (59)
Yo-Yo Ma (61)
Tico Torres (63)
Vladimir Putin (64)
Jill Larson (69)
Oliver North (73)
Joy Behar (74)
Desmond Tutu (85)

Pic: Getty

Here’s Michelle Williams at the Louis Vuitton show during Paris Fashion Week and I am pretty sure that face is saying: “Yes, I am contractually obliged to wear the skin of a raver snake as a tit curtain.” – Lainey Gossip 

RiRi, or the Star intern who made this story up, didn’t lie – Celebitchy

Bethenny Frankel is selling the Tribeca dream home she once shared with Jason Hoppy for $7 million. It looks great and you can’t even tell that Jason Hoppy (probably) once wrote “I HATE YOU BITCH” in his own shit on the walls – Reality Tea

Anna Kendrick really nailed the bored and medicated model pose in InStyle – Drunken Stepfather

Keifer Sutherland and booze shall never be parted – The Superficial 

Lady Gaga released another song from her country-fied album and I don’t really mind it that much because it sounds like a B-side from The Heights official soundtrack – Towleroad

Eric the hairstylist from Finding Prince Charmless talked about telling Prince Charming and the other contestants that he’s living with HIV  – POZ

Jessica Lange’s eyes got a serving of Evan Peters’ crotch huevos one time – OMG Blog

Emily Blunt wore a dress that a 90s bride would make her bridesmaids wear if she hated them – Popoholic

Let’s not do this again… It’s fucking green, duh! – SOW

Carrie Brownstein and Abbi Jacobson may be bumping nipples, or not – Jezebel

The Jeep dealership where Anton Yelchin bought his SUV has responded to his family’s wrongful death lawsuit by saying that he was responsible for his own death – Just Jared

Kylie Minogue and her hot bearded piece are engaged, but won’t get married until everyone in Australia can – Boy Culture

And what in polka dot mod sack HELL is Amal Clooney wearing? – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

Seen above giving off terrifying “Heeeeere’s Jimmy!” vibes in 2004, James Haven has reportedly been helping his sister Angelina Jolie with her 6 children as she deals with divorcing Brad Pitt. Uncle Stains is apparently at Angie’s rental house in Malibu every single day. The windows of that Malibu house must reach the edge of shattering when all 6 kids simultaneously scream, “Mom! Uncle! Gross,” after seeing Angie and James sloppily suck face.

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Ugh, why do I get the feeling that’s the same hand gesture Sean Penn makes when someone asks him if he’s dating another actor’s daughter. Just a lazy thumbs up followed by a smoker-voiced “Yeah, Sean Penn might be – wink.”

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“And this is where I leave you, bitch,” said absolutely everyone to the internet after finding out that a Muppets parody of Fifty Shades of Shit exists.

Some sick ho decided that what the over-used cum rag we know and love as the internet really needs is a Fifty Shades of Grey trailer starring Miss Piggy as Anastasia Steele and Kermit The Frog as Christian Grey. Every Muppet spends most of their life getting fisted by a human, so I guess it’s not a total stretch that Miss Piggy and Kermit would get into other kinds of kink too. Someone took the trailer for the first Fifty Shades of Shit movie and mashed it with clips from Muppets movies to create Fifty Shades of Muppets.

There’s one major problem with this. Anybody who has followed the messy and abusive union between Miss Piggy and Kermie knows that she’s as much of a sub as he is a dom. They should’ve switched roles and this shit should’ve been called Fifty Shades of Pork. Unless the makers of this know something we don’t know. I mean, maybe Miss Piggy is a dom in the streets and a sub in the sheets.

And this was made by the YouTube channel Darth Blender, so you can go ahead and send them the bills for the therapy you’ll need thanks to that still of Kermit holding the Vaseline while looking at you like, “Now bend over for Kermie.”

via Entertainment Weekly