The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 26th!

January 27, 2010 / Posted by:

I will call her Victoria. She will get bolt-on tits, never eat or smile and marry a footballer with a squeaky voice ” – El Bastardo

Runners-up:

A&E’s new line up includes “I Didn’t Know I Was Pignant” – RC

Will Octomom stop at nothing to get her name in the news? – Snarkley

One degree of Kevin Bacon – The Hoople

via Picture is Unrelated (Thanks Cane)

Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Tony Cointreau, philanthropist, NYC socialite, true beauty and heir to the Cointreau liqueur fortune!

Anybody who is directly related to booze, deserves millions of awards. Tony’s pores not only seep Cointreau (can’t you tell), but he also has hair that is made out of the dried up tears of rhinestones and eyebrows that regularly make sweet love to a Princess Borghese brow pencil. And if you’re still not convinced of Tony’s magic, then you should know that he was one of Ethel Merman’s best friends and he keeps her ashes in the closet of his Park Avenue Apartment. The glitter parade in Tony’s honor has been scheduled for noon!

(For Jennifer)

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St. Angie’s Tribute To Her Late Mother

January 26, 2010 / Posted by:

To mark the 3rd anniversary of their mother’s death, St. Angie and her brother STAINS released this video tribute to her on YouTube. The footage is from a family trip to Hawaii in 1981.

While watching this I thought to myself, “Damn, for being a tribute to her mother Angelina put her own ass in this video a lot.” But then I realized the woman in question IS her mother. They almost look like twinsies to me. Or maybe my eyes are just foggy, which means I need a DRANK. Yeah, that’s it.

via TMZ

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The Leader of Cornell’s Pi Phi Sorority Does Not Eff Around

January 26, 2010 / Posted by:

Everything I know about sororities I learned from watching Confessions of a Sorority Girl starring Jamie Luner, so I really have no idea what one wears to rush. Well, thanks to Fashionista I now know that satin, titty cleavage, fuck me pumps and chapped lips are a BIG NO. Fun haters.

Fashionista posted a 6-page long dress code from Cornell University’s Pi Phi Sorority for rush. If the leader of the Pi Phi sees a single hair on your upper lip or a plastic bracelet on your wrist, she will hit you in the mouth with her Tory Burch flat. Bitch is serious about her accessories.

Below is the crazy ass dress code with equally crazy comments. Just for the record, Dlisted also has a dress code. Whatever is on the NO list below is on Dlisted’s FUCK YES list.

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But Where Are The Wigs?

January 26, 2010 / Posted by:

The Real Broke Housewives of Atlanta’s Sheree has her own line of tuck panties. Lisa Wu has that Closet Freak mess. And now the masses can buy their own piece of Kim Zolciak. And by “masses,” I mean nobody.

Kim Zolciak set up a booth at the internet’s biggest sweep meet, eBay, and is selling some of her hand-me-down gowns. I guess that Tardy for the Party/Big Poppa money dried up.

Prices start at $1,000 and go all the way up to $6,500. So for the bottom bitch price of $65,000 you can own a stretched out dress that smells like a dead lung, burnt plastic, wig glue, various brands of bleach, boxed wine and Sheree’s b-hole.

In case you’re wondering what size the dresses come in, here’s how Kim describes it: “size 8 USA fits like a size 4.” Genius. Mimi is going to use that one from now one.

Click here to visit Kim’s Emporium of Broken Dreams.

via Jezebel

To The Goat Cave!

January 26, 2010 / Posted by:

The Church of Brangie still hasn’t released a black dove into the sky signaling the official end of their religion, but the Daily Mail is still standing by the claim that Billy Goat Brad is now single. And they have more proof! According to them, Brad bought a $1.2 million 2-bedroom bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills that comes complete with a cave! From one jagged orifice to another!

The source explained it all, “The house oozes character. Brad has had his eye on it for some time but he decided now was the right time to buy because he wanted a place to call his own. He needs somewhere quiet that doesn’t have memories of Angie and where he can be alone and think about what he does next.”

Even if they haven’t broken up yet, Billy Goat Brad probably bought the cave as a safe house for when he does send the world into chaos by announcing the end of Brangelina. When that day does arrive, every crazed Brangaloonie will throw themselves from the mountain tops. And Brad does not want to go out like that. Come to think of it, I don’t think any of us want the last thing we see to be a crazed mouth foamer in an adult-sized “Adopt Me Brangelina” onesie. We should all get a cave.

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