Lindsay Lohan Is Such A Giving Soul

September 27, 2010 / Posted by:

There’s a good reason for why homegirl on the right is throwing the camera a puckery “THIS BITCH” face while trying not to let the laughs fall out of her mouth. This is a picture of role model, philanthropist and noted cokehead Lindsay Lohan at a homeless shelter in Los Angeles last night. If only the Nobel Peace Prize had a category for shameless publicity stunts. The crackhouse version of Audrey Hepburn has been born.

E! Online says that LiLo’s business manager Lou Taylor is a big supporter of The Dream Center in L.A. and he’s the one who suggested that she should visit with a few of the children and teens there. LiLo signed a few autographs, took some pictures and gave out purses from her clothing line to the teens. And she even Tweeted about it!

What a great place The Dream Center is here in LA… had a nice time there today, it’s so important to give back. I feel blessed.
8 minutes ago via web

All accept the paparazzi hitting one of the ministry guys. They need to be stopped. I think this is a job for The Terminator…
6 minutes ago via web

You know, this is sort of genius. I mean, do those little kids at the shelter even know who this bitch is?! What did she sign? Her covers of Star Magazine and The National Enquirer? Imagine the “see you in a year” looks the employees at the shelter threw at LiLo when she left? And you know that as soon as the door closed, the parents turned to their kids and said, “Now that’s what NOT to do.” This really is brilliant.

I bet LiLo will also show up to your “Bring a Role Model” day at school in exchange for a fully loaded one hitter.

And I’m jealous of the kid who found half an Adderall in the purse LiLo gave her. Lucky toddler.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For September 24th!

September 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Basement Baby finally finds a way to walk the catwalk at the House of Dereon fashion show – svp

Runners-up:

Cholas everywhere ran to get this hot outfit that allowed them to keep their spawn strapped to their backs while freeing both hands to punch tricks on the bus. – SpiceDong

I didn’t like Katy’s dress either, but I think Sesame Street is going too far this time. – Vern

He gloves me…he gloves me not. – The Hoople

Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Oi! Kitty, the pink pussy who has been spread all over the UK’s most prestigious papers (aka The Sun and The Daily Mail) for the past couple of days. Jodie Marsh, eat your pussy out (although, I don’t know if hers is pink anymore)!

A few nights ago, a pinky pussy was found wandering around in somebody’s garden in the town of Swindon in Wiltshire, England. Usually when that happens, the authorities just call up Harvey Price and tell him to come and get his mother. But this time it was an actual pink pussy. Oi! Kitty (Yes, that’s really her government name….I can’t either) was turned over to the RSPCA who immediately started to search for her owner. The RSPCA wanted to personally slap the trick who dyed her pussy pink.

Well, the pink pussy dyer has been found! 22-year-old mother of two Natasha Gregory came forward over the weekend to claim Oi! Kitty. Natasha said that she used food coloring to dye Oi! Kitty and doesn’t think it’s cruel. Natasha also said that pink is her favorite color, “After I turned her pink, I was like, ‘Oh, she matches my hair!” So basically, Natasha wanted the pussy to match the drapes.

And hopefully when someone Googles “pink pussy“, a picture of Oi! Kitty comes up. Bitch deserves that for all the foolery she’s been through.

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Birthday Sluts

September 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Phoebe Price (Forever Young)
Avril Lavigne (26)
Anna Camp (28)
Lil Wayne (28)
Gwyneth Paltrow (38)
Amanda Detmer (39)
Patrick Muldoon (42)
Alexis Stewart (45)
Stephan Jenkins (46)
Andy Lau (49)
Shaun Cassidy (52)
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (60)
A Martinez (62)
Liz Torres (63)
Meat Loaf (63)
Don Cornelius (74)
Wilford Brimley (76)
Jayne Meadows (90)

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Mimi Goes Down In Singapore

September 26, 2010 / Posted by:

While performing at the F1 Singapore Grand Prix, Mimi slipped on stage and gracefully floated to the floor like a true melodramatic diva. Seriously, it looks like the whispers of a zillion butterflies, the wings of a dozen imaginary angels and the rays of a rainbow softly guided her to the floor. That is serious dramatic theatrics right there. When Mimi falls, she always imagines that there’s a pink velvet settee just waiting to catch her.

Then Mimi’s dancer hiked up their weight lifting belts, said a silent prayer that their chiropractor can fit them in the next day and pulled her probably pregnant ass off the floor. The best part is when Mimi calls her assistant out to get her heels off so she doesn’t give her Hello Fetus a case of vertigo by free falling again. Ha. If Margo Channing was based on a Lisa Frank drawing, she’d be just like Mimi.

There’s more clips of Mimi’s performance at ONTD.

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QOTD: Michael Lohan Brings God Into It

September 26, 2010 / Posted by:

Jesus be a bail bondsman, because Michael Lohan tells Popeater that GOD wanted Lindsay Lohan out of jail. God’s like: “Wasn’t me.

Here’s a piece of the foolery Michael spat out to Popeater:

“As you know, thank God, Lindsay was released from jail tonight. However, what what most don’t know is that her release wasn’t due to the efforts of any one person. She was released because that’s what God wanted.

I truly believe that God wanted to show Lindsay that Shawn Holley, Lou Taylor and Dina (the ‘machine,’ as Dina put it), failed her.”

My feelings for this mess of a quote are best expressed through a God Warrior GIF:

Cleanse this house!

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