Crackhead EngRish

July 19, 2007 / Posted by:
You have to check out this MySpace blog by Courtney Love. I mean….I just don't even know how where to begin with this. To say this was written by a crackhead is an understatement. Is there such thing as sleepwriting, because that's what this mess looks like. Here's a little piece where she's trying to talk smack on Gwen Stefani
"we were doing our hair( thew girls) way up in that ugly crazy building and couyld seeyou all for blocks, it was wild-= i told my peeps top go get bvoys wiuth skateboards and giurls whow ere into stefani, no offense to truyew fans i just felt like a challenge- if someone sreally into stefani to me that says they dontw anta nty trouble in thoe rlives, want very mucbh to be p[opular abnd accepted, wnatto be trendy but niot dangerous, and the idea of forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./plus im startinga clotyhing line this year too, just higher end and the lowerr end wont be about a font. i wouldbnt do that iu fond that crass somehow= a sportsac ten times the prio ce because it has ther same cuddle bear sweeetoe pie sign off that Rossdale used to sign hios letters to me with in a Times Courier font ? maybve its me, i know perfeume has a 800 -1200% profit markup so if one "brands" oneself well enough one can cash it in big an d hard by selling a perfume wethe rone gioves a shot about the smell opr not- kudos to madge for forgoinmg that , because nop way hads she not been asked. L.A.M.B. heh, well look its not fo rme to judge- im far mior eonteretsed in amazin g lingerie enyways and if i design a bag itll be fabulous"
Wrap your brain around that. Actually, don't. You might get contact high and then your boss will fire you, you'll lose your house, you'll end up on the streets, you'll have to turn to smoking crack to fill the pain and then you'll start writing crap like this on your MySpace and I'll have to make fun of you.
ONTD translated it and it still doesn't make sense!

Cathy Dennis Is Still A Hot Piece

July 19, 2007 / Posted by:
Remember Cathy Dennis?! This is a blast from the past. I really think Cathy turned me homo. I mean one listen to her "Move To This" album will turn the straightest of straights into a raging, dick-loving, salad-tossing homersexual. So if you're a straight dude and you want to be gay, just listen to that album and your mouth will start salivating for peen almost immediately. She's like a gay dracula.
It's nice to see she's still a hot chick and hasn't turned into a plastic victim like most 90s popstars. Here's Cathy at the O2 X Awards in London last night.

Afternoon Crumbs

July 19, 2007 / Posted by:
Tara's left sack is trying to make a run for it – Egotastic! 
Valerie Bertinelli making out with some dude – ASL 
Fergie's cartoon eyebrows – Drunken Stepfather 
Don't eff with NYC's terror fighting police dogs Cityrag 
How does Michelle Marsh walk with those? – Hollywood Tuna 
JT & Biel sneak around NYC – Popsugar
Jessica Alba goes tall in Madrid – Hollywood Rag 
Another pic of Tom Cruise as a Nazi – Just Jared 
Suge Knight is a biter – IDLYITW 
The aliens are moving nex to OprahHM!

Becks’ Turn

July 19, 2007 / Posted by:
Let's see if the other Beckham can score in the TV world. David Beckham "David Beckham's Soccer USA" will star in a 13-week reality show called beginning next week on FOX Soccer Channel. What the hell kind of channel is that? They just show "Bend It Like Beckham" over and over again. Oh and that "Gracie" movie…isn't that about soccer…anyway…back to the facts.
A Fox bitch said, "David Beckham's arrival is a tremendous milestone in U.S. soccer history. [The series] will provide an insider's look at his performance with the Los Angeles Galaxy." BORING! I want the series to provide an insider's look into his pants not his soccer performance!
Oh and keep Posh away from it. She's TV poison!

Before Making The Sea Life Swim For Their Lives…..

July 19, 2007 / Posted by:
Before Britney undressed showing off her dirty panties and bra to dip into the beach of Malibu yesterday, she was caught showing off her lovely dreadlocks. Those are dreads right? I hope it's intentional, but I'm pretty sure it's not. She's so elegant.
In other Britney news, according to Extra TV she will shoot a music video for her new single "Get Back" today. If it's true, this will be her first video in 2 years.
I really hope the stylist doesn't ruin those beautiful locks of hers. I look forward to smelling it every single day. Seriously, I can smell it through the computer screen.
They are going to burst the budget by bringing in Industrial Light and Magic to try and make her body look hot again.

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