Everything’s UnGodly

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
Tori Spelling is now a minister. Actually, anybody can become one. Even me. Scary I know. Tori became ordained so she could officiate a gay wedding at her crappy B&B.
Tori said, "I was so honored when the couple asked me to officiate. We did it on the front steps of the Chateau as 40 of their friends looked on seated in a lounge-like atmosphere. It was so beautiful as I united Tony and Dex as life partners in love." 
"I've done live theater and presented at the Emmys and this by far was my scariest moment simply because they had bestowed such an honor upon me and I didn't want to let them down." 
Tori is such a romantic. I hope she covered up her tits while performing such a beautiful ceremony. I would hate to be uniting as one while looking into the depths of hell.

He’s Still Sort Of Hot, Right?

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
Fat Elvis just won't go away. He's like an effin roach! Anyway, he ruined his brother's wedding over the weekend. Yeah, he's a real peach. Page Six reports that Fat Elvis reportedly got drunk and started knocking over tables and shit. Actually, sounds like a hot wedding to me.
A source said, "Brandon got so upset, he sent tables crashing . . . he had to be carried out of the reception." The reception was held at the Mantage Resort in Laguna Beach, CA.
He's like an animal! TMZ has it right. He's a greasy bear. He probably smelled a delicious berry and was knocked shit over to get to it.

Do You Blame Him?

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
Charlotte Church is extremely knocked up and is due to pop out a baby in 3-months. Well, she's just kicked out her baby daddy and fiance. Char kicked out Gavin Henson, because he's been boozing with a few lovely ladies and Char isn't taking it. Gavin was even caught kissing a shop girl.
Gavin is living with his mother, waiting for Char's decision.
A source said, "Gavin is gutted that he got caught out, but Charlotte isn't listening to any of his excuses.

"She is very angry at the moment and, when she found out, she flew into a rage."

Char even got her mother on his ass and she's been cursing out Gavin over the phone.

A fat, pregnant bitch and her angry mother? Yeah, sounds like something I'd like to come home to. Charlotte looks like those ghetto ass pregnant women on "Cops" that get arrested for beating their husbands now. Cheating is not hot, but cheating on Charlotte Church might be ok. 




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Madge Likes To Play The Blinking Game

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
It was rumored that Madonna once had a rule to never make eye contact with her unless she makes eye contact with you. It was a queer rule, because how are you to know she's looking at you if you can't look at her! Well, looks like she got past that, but now she's developed a new rule.
At Saturday's Live Earth London her slaves were instructed to tell all reporters that they must maintain contact with her at all times during the interview. All questions had to be memorized and you couldn't even glance down to look at your notes or the interview would be over.
A source said, "It's intimidating enough interviewing Madonna, because she's so intense, but when we were given these weird orders it was even worse.

"We thought her people were just joking. But it soon became apparent that they were deadly serious."

They were also told to never ask about Guy Ritchie, Kabbalah or her children.

What is with all these stupid rules? You can't ask them anything anymore more, you can't look at them, not you have to only look at them. Soon they are going to give you the questions to ask them. I would've asked her ass why the road to Terabithia is all over her hands.

Above is Madge's wax figure. Yeah, what a joke.


Thanks Chic 



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