Birthday Sluts

/ October 8, 2016

Karyn Parsons (50)
Bella Thorne (19)
Angus T. Jones (23)
Barbara Palvin (23)
Molly Quinn (23)
Bruno Mars (31)
Nick Cannon (36)
Mike “The Miz” Mizanin (36)
Kristanna Loken (37)
Martin Henderson (42)
Matt Damon (46)
Soon-Yi Previn (46)
Jeremy Davies (47)
Emily Procter (48)
C.J. Ramone (51)
CeCe Winans (52)
Reed Hastings (56)
Stephanie Zimbalist (60)
Darrell Hammond (61)
Robert “Kool” Bell (66)
Sigourney Weaver (67)
Sarah Purcell (68)
Chevy Chase (73)
R.L. Stine (73)
Jesse Jackson (75)
Paul Hogan (77)
Rona Barrett (80)

Pic: Getty

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Night Crumbs

/ October 7, 2016

Amy Adams and Emma Stone brought double ginger power to the Mill Valley Film Festival. And Emma should get a gold star for keeping it together while wearing a dress that looks like a lace tablecloth covered with smashed bunny shit – Lainey Gossip 

The next time you want to hit a banker with your shoe, call me immediately, so I can get a camera crew there. Don’t let this happen again,” said Andy Cohen to Dorinda Medley after summoning her to his office – Reality Tea 

Kelly Clarkson really doesn’t want another baby in her body – Celebitchy

FYI: Lena Dunham’s heart is with Kim KardashianThe Superficial 

Dakota Fanning served up a “Why did the photographer make me do this dumb pose?” pose in Vanity Fair ItalyDrunken Stepfather

Rosie O’Donnell wrote a dramatic poem about running into Ivanka TrumpTowleroad

Usher looks like he was in the middle of boning that bedspread and stopped after he heard a noise outside. No, I am not stoned (yes, I am) – OMG Blog

This IS The Look: The RiRi Edition – Egotastic! 

I do not know who Madison Beer is, but I do know that she’s doing bootleg Cher Horowitz cosplay – Popoholic

Thank you to Friday for gifting my eyes with these pictures of Prince Hot Ginge playing with balls – Popsugar

I would love Bruno Mars’ new song a million times more if Morris Day was singing it  – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

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We Now Know What The Original Lyrics Of “Famous” Were

/ October 7, 2016

Unless you’ve been living under a rock with a shaky wifi connection, you know that Taylor Swift currently hates Kanye West because of a lyric (that she did/didn’t approve) that references having sex with her in his song “Famous.” The lyric in question is:

I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex. Why? I made that bitch famous.

As it turns out, that’s actually a second draft lyric re-write. The original demo of “Famous” made its way onto the internet yesterday. I have bad news for Taylor’s lawyers: you’re probably going to be working this weekend.

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The Time Donald Trump Bragged To Billy Bush About “Grabbing Pussy” Because He’s A Star

/ October 7, 2016

I just turned on CNN right now and they pretty much showed live footage from Hillary Clinton’s campaign headquarters of her doing the victory conga with her staff.

The Washington Post somehow got a recording from 2005 of Donald Trump telling then Access Hollywood host Billy Bush that his hands can grope a woman and she won’t care because he’s famous. Trump and Billy were on a bus heading to the set of Days of Our Lives where he was going to tape a cameo. When the recording starts, Trump talks about how he tried to fuck Nancy O’Dell, but she didn’t want any of that. This was a few months after he married delicate Slovenian rose Melania Trump. When the bus pulls up to the set, Billy and Trump see actress Arianne Zucker (aka Nicole Walker on Days) and they go on about how hot she is. And that leads to the pus-filled gooch wart bragging about how since he’s a star, he has free range to molest and grab a woman by the pussy. And I don’t think he meant that he can pet their cat.

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Open Post: Hosted By Larry The Cable Guy Breaking A Dude’s Arm

/ October 7, 2016

If you no longer get grossed out from watching botfly maggot removal videos or that video of Donald Trump snifflin’, the sound of a dude’s arm doing the snap, crackle, pop may do it.

Millionaire redneck joke maker Larry the Cable Guy (who I always confuse with Joe the Plumber) was inside of a luxury suite during a University of Nebraska football game last weekend when he and a hot army vet named John decided to have themselves a little arm wrestling match. Tip: If you’re ever going to arm wrestle Larry the Cable Guy, don’t use your good fappin’ arm, because there’s a chance you may git-r-broke.

TMZ got the video of Larry the Cable Guy snapping a dude’s arm. They got a little melodramatic with that “HORRENDOUSLY GROTESQUE” warning. It’s not that bad. The only thing that’s horrendously grotesque is Larry the Cable Guy wearing his glasses over his cap:

John told TMZ that he had to get surgery to put a plate in his arm and he’s pretty much okay now. Dude also said that it didn’t really hurt. I believe him, because in that video, he looks stunned. I’m sure he isn’t that stunned over his arm getting broken. He’s more shocked over the fact that he got beat by Larry the Cable Guy! And well, maybe John will get a Milk contract out of this. Milk: It does a body so good that this won’t happen to you.

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Sean Penn And His Young Piece Already Made Their Red Carpet Debut As A Couple

/ October 7, 2016

Yesterday, we all learned that 56-year-old Sean Penn is currently rubbing his chili-dusted poke chop body on Leila George, the 24-year-old daughter of Vincent D’Onofrio and Greta Schachi. Pictures came out of them touching mouths in Hawaii. And last night, Sean and Leila posed together at a LACMA event in L.A. At least, I think that’s Leila George. That totally natural ginger hair is throwing me off. Is it Ariel the Former Mermaid? Is it Angie Everhart? Is it Debra Messing? Or possibly, that IS Leila in a masterful disguise, which she wore because we all know that she’s getting on that sun-broiled daddy dick and she’s too embarrassed to show her true identity in public. You almost fooled us, Leila!

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