On the negative side, the intervention was a complete failure. On the plus side, you’re looking at about $3,500 worth of duck liver pate. – tim

Upvote winner:

Trashcot. – FluffKitteh

Pic: uberHumor

Buzz (as played by Buzz Belmondo) from Out Of This World!

Since every actor, producer, crew member, director, prop, costume piece, set piece and every thing else involved in the making of the 80s-90s syndicated television treasure Out Of This World deserves to be HSOTD several times over, today I’m honoring one of the show’s greatest and most random characters: Buzz! Buzz was the vaguely exotic butterfly of glamour who fluttered into a scene, dropped in some potent entertainment and bad one-liners, and then fluttered back out. He provided the show with some glamour relief.

For all four seasons of OOTW, Buzz Belmondo played Buzz, the manager of Beano’s Diet Clinic, the weight-loss center that Donna Garland’s brother, Uncle Beano, owned. Buzz’s hotness would instantly melt off the chunk from his clients’ bodies. Buzz looked like Patrick Duffy doing a bad impersonation of John Waters doing a bad impersonation of Ricky Ricardo. Buzz dressed like the maître d of Liberace’s mariachi-themed bar & grill and his accent brought out question marks from ears. It was supposed to be an unplaceable foreign accent. The 80s was all about unplaceable foreign accents. To me, it sounds like a person with a Spanish accent trying to do Balki Bartokomous’ accent.

In the clip below, skip to the 4:35 mark and prepare to pucker over all of the charisma that pours out of thee one and only Buzz!

There are 4,999,201,128 reasons to love OOTW and at the very top of that list is Buzz’s name and right under that is his exquistely-crafted Sharpie stache. Viva Buzz (and his Sharpie stache), now and forever!

Pic: Buzz-Belmondo

Paul Simon (75)
Noah Crawford (22)
Tiffany Trump (23)
Ian Thorpe (34)
Kele Okereke (35)
Ashanti (36)
Billy Bush (45)
Sacha Baron Cohen (45)
Serena Altschul (46)
Paul Potts (46)
Rhett Akins (47)
Nancy Kerrigan (47)
Tisha Campbell-Martin (48)
Kate Walsh (49)
Kelly Preston (54)
Jerry Rice (54)
Joey Belladonna (56)
Marie Osmond (57)
Chris Carter (59)
Beverly Johnson (64)
Sammy Hagar (69)
Demond Wilson (70)
Melinda Dillon (77)
Nana Mouskouri (82)

Pic: The Jim Henson Company

St. Angie Jolie’s thin-skinned legal team sent a cease and desist to Perez Hilton for writing about her messy divorce fight. Perez told them to fuck off and to suck his dick and he claims they responded by apologizing. So when Perez Hilton tells a lawyer to fuck off, he gets an apology, but when I do it, I get served with a lawsuit outside of Target after buying lube, vodka and Gardetto’s. Life isn’t fair – Lainey Gossip

Parasite Hilton’s newest living and breathing fashion accessory looks like she already hates life – Celebitchy

But does Erika Jayne pat the octopus? – Reality Tea 

For a good five seconds, I really thought that Hilary Duff had a bunny tail taped to her ass. I need sleep – Drunken Stepfather

Samantha Bee dragged Donald Trump by his dead guinea pig hair: part 2,984,391 – The Superficial

The audacity of Bella Hadid thinking that she can pull off the hot outfit that Cristal Conners wears to the Cheetah in Showgirls. Well, Bella thought wrong! – The Nip Slip

Raja as Divine = ???????? – Towleroad

Here’s Anna Kendrick wearing an S&M straitjacket dress – Popoholic

T-Mobile knows what the people want to see! – OMG Blog

Tom Brady is not here for reporters asking about his bro Donald Trump’s “locker room” talk – Pajiba

Another day, another reality trick who is living that champagne life on a beer budget  – Starcasm

Heidi Klum LIES! – SOW

UsWeekly says that Kristen Stewart and St. Vincent are definitely bumping hipster ‘ginas – Popsugar

I see Miss Philippines trying to take Miss Austria out – Hollywood Tuna 

Rest in peace, Tommy Ford – Just Jared

Pic: Wenn.com

And I still write about Joe Jonas talking about his dick because dick.

Seen above demonstrating my favorite way to pop pimples, Joe Jonas did a Reddit Ask Me Anything (via Vulture) yesterday and he spilled out the name of who fucked his purity ring off and also said the same thing he said to Andy Cohen last July: he’d like to believe he’s got the biggest dick out of all his brothers. You know, these Jonas Brothers keep pandering to us peen lovers by talking about which one of them has got the biggest dick. They need to settle this already in an HD pay-per-view dick measuring event. I volunteer to be the ruler. In the meantime, after the cut are the answers that Joe dribbled out when asked about his peen, his brother’s nipples, his man crushes and more.

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Everyone in the world who isn’t doing themselves up in clown drag to scare people are singing the opposite of what Desiree sings in A Little Night Music. We’re all singing, “Send AWAY the clowns.” (Yes, I’m that theater queen who makes an A Little Night Music reference in a post about terrifying clowns.)

Clowns are currently fucking up the world. They’re clogging up our jails, they’re causing our schools to go on lockdown, they’re killing the careers of professional nice clowns, and one of the most terrifying clowns in history is running for POTUS. We’re under a clown-idemic and now McDonald’s has announced that they’re cutting down on Ronald McDonald’s appearances until this clown hysteria is over.

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