Alli Speaks!

August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
Britney Spears' wannabe popstar cousin and former assistant, Alli Sims, spoke to People Magazine about Brit as a mother and her upcoming career as a pop star.
Alli recently added a song to her website . It's a cover of "On My Own" from Les Miserables and my urethra could do a better job singing that song. She said that Britney was not jealous. "She heard my songs on the laptop and was like, 'I love this song! This is you singing?' She has always been supportive." 
More like she threw the laptop at her and went into her room to pig out on a tub of warehouse-sized ice cream.
Alli is currently working on her music. She's working with Brit's old boy toy, JR Rotem. "I don't dance, I'm not pop. I have a more bluesy voice, more Norah Jones-ish. I don't want to appeal to just my age group and younger." 
"I hope everything falls into place, and maybe by January I will have a lot of things under my belt and get to release something. I just want to do what I love. [Music] is my passion."
Alli was also careful not to talk shit about Britney even though there's rumors that she's helping KFed in getting full custody.
"She's a wonderful mom and she is so hands-on. … Britney loves those babies to death. And they adore her. I love her, she's beautiful inside and out. We're still great friends."
Boring lies! Confidentiality agreements are a real bitch!

Bomb Ambition

August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
Poor little Jessica Simpson. This movie thing really isn't working out for her. According to  UsWeekly "Blonde Ambition" will go straight to DVD and will only be released in theaters Internationally. Why? The rest of the world shouldn't have to suffer!
A source said, “The movie is absolutely horrible. It’s just a bomb, mainly because of Jessica’s acting.”
A rep for Jessica denied the claims. The studio also denied that anything was confirmed. They said, “The final distribution plans have not been confirmed, so it would be premature to comment at this time.”
Jessica has already moved on to her next project. She's currently shooting "Major Movie Star" which is a rip-off of Private Benjamin. Blonde Ambition is a rip-off of Working Girl. Expect her to star next in a movie about a Beverly Hills housewife who takes over her daughter's girl scout troup.
Seriously, Jessica is going to become queen of ruining classic 80s movies.
Image: Splash

Afternoon Crumbs

August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
Death Becomes Her (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather 
Nomi Malone is still hot – Hollywood Tuna 
Kristin Cavallari lives in a bikini – Egotastic!
Diddy's private white party for Penny CruzPopsugar 
This is probably the first time they've handled a pair of boobs Just Jared 
I still can't get enough of Geri's tiny trainerIDLYITW
Robert DeNiro is not selling cars – ASL
Kate Beckinsale's con job – Cityrag 
Elton John wants to shut down the internet – Hollywood 
Vintage Keanu ReevesPopoholic

I’m Sorry, So Sorry

August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
Blitz! Blitz! Blitz! Ok! Magazine sat down with mommy-to-be (that sounds so weird) Nicole Richie to talk about going into the slammer. Unlike Paris Hilton, Nicole is accepting the blame and the responsibility. She has better PR bitches.
She said, "I think this was a blessing in disguise. This year has been full of lessons learned and soul-searching and realizing I'm an adult. It's time to take responsibility and not take the easy way out."
"I was lucky that no one else was on the road, but I could have killed someone," she says. "It was a big awakening experience. If I could take it all back, I would … For me, I have come to a place where I never want to make a mistake like that again. I never want to possibly take another life in my hands."
Well…um…err…doesn't she sort of have another life in her hands right now? So, eat up!
Nicole is also standing by her story that she was taking Vicodin for period cramps. She says she doesn't know what Midol is. Ahaha….good one.

Superhead Names Names

August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
MediaTakeout claims they have seen excerpts from Karrine "Superhead" Steffan's tell-all which doesn't come out until next month. Superhead allegedly rates each dude she's slept with (and there's a lot of them) and details of what went down. Who knows if any of this is true or if it's in the book, but if it is…..damn!
Here's an alleged gem taken from MT:
On sexing it with Usher:
It was fucking horrible and on top of that it was smelling back there. This man is not packing, his dick is way small and he was having a hard time trying to find my hole. Then ol’ boy did something out of this world, he yelled out something Haitian and some big ugly black man came out and walked over to Usher and they started making out. I was sick to my stomach. I got dressed and ran out of there.

She apparently also rates the size of each dude she's been with. The list is long like Will Smith's dick (so she claims). Superhead also claims Missy Elliot has a smelly one. Barf.
You can visit MediaTakeoutt o read her long-ass list! 
If any of that is true, I'm going out and pre-ordering that book right now. 

It Would’ve Been Great TV

August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
Producer Mark Burnett reportedly offered Rosie O'Donnell $2 Million for 12 days work on Donald Trump's "The Apprentice: Celebrity Edition." Rosie would've come face to face with the Donald.
A source claims Rosie turned it down FLAT and said she wouldn't do it for "$200 Million." What about 200 donuts? Did Donald think of that? I bet not!
Rosie's rep said, “It will never happen in this lifetime or beyond.
They should ask her again in 6-months. Her number's coming up!


August 1, 2007 / Posted by:
Barbara Walters has just announced that Whoopi Goldberg will replace Rosie O'Donnell on "The View" starting this Fall. Whoopi has already guest hosted several times during the summer and it's no surprise that she was chosen. I mean they wanted a name and shit.
Whoopi reportedly beat out Sherri Sheperd, Kathy Griffin, Roseanne Barr, Gayle King and Joan Rivers for the top spot!
Hooray! I think Whoopi is an excellent choice. Funny and smart. Love that snatch!
She will star the day after Labor Day and maybe next season those chicks will finally win an Emmy!

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