This CANNOT Happen

April 27, 2007 / Posted by:
Let's just blow up Hollywood right now! They are obviously not capable of coming up with original ideas and their run must come to an end. Which brings me to our next story….
Nicole Kidman has committed a sin by purchasing the rights to my favorite movie of all-time "How to Marry a Millionaire" as a possible starring vehicle for herself. Nicky has plans to produce the film under 20th Century Fox.
The screenwriter from "The Terminal" will overhaul the entire story and bring it update. Yeah, more like MURDER it. This is not right. You can remake anything, but this!
The original starred Marilyn Monroe, Betty Grable and Lauren Bacall as hot bitches trying to catch a rich husband. This movie is GOLD and Nicky will pay for this! I'll see you in botox hell!
Source: Coming Soon

Hot Pants & Babies

April 27, 2007 / Posted by:
Breaking news! Britney Spears was actually seen out with her two kids, SPF and JJ. SPF's face was in full view, but JJ was hidden again. We still haven't seen any clear pictures of him. Britney took her two tots (being cared for by assistants, of course) to dance practice yesterday.
There's also rumors that Britney will be performing under the band name M+M at the House of Blues in Anaheim and Hollywood next week. Of course she'd choose a food name.
House of Blues? With the way she's been dressing lately, she's totally Coyote Ugly. That's where she should debut her new shit. 

Copycat Posh

April 27, 2007 / Posted by:
Why does Posh make Becks do these things and why doesn't he have the balls to tell her to stuff her throat with a cannoli and shut the hell up? These are serious questions. Most dudes should not go platinum blonde. Billy Idol aside, it doesn't look hot. A hair color like that works with a chick, because she wears make-up that can blend in.
Homegirl Becks looks like he's going to replace Brigitte Nielsen in a remake of "Red Sonja."
Source: Daily Mail

This Hurts

April 27, 2007 / Posted by:
It paaaaains me to say. Asshole Simpson actually looks pretty here. FUCK! I'm going to heaven now! Dammit! I have to say something awful about her. Something! I'm sure you guys will come up with something, because you're way more hateful than me. Sort of.
Ok, she still has a Jay Leno chin. She needs to take a chainsaw to that hunk. Ok phew. I'm still going to hell. Yay!
Oh yeah, this is that  UsWeekly thing AGAIN and no they aren't paying me. 

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