Afternoon Crumbs

October 13, 2010 / Posted by:

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s just God, Jesus and all of the angels waving good morning at heaven’s ambassadors – Lainey Gossip

Avril Lavigne, please put on your Emily the Strange baby-t on right now! – Hollywood Tuna

Please tell me one of the kids mistook LeAnn Rimes’ ass for a goal net and kicked a soccer ball at her – The Superficial

The Ava Gardner of our time (according to Joan Collins) forgot something (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Strangely enough, this is how most of my gay high school relationships began too – Towleroad

Meet my new soulmate – TDW

Colin Farrell might be on the prowl again – Celebitchy

Gay sex. Mark Ronson. Boy George. Enough said. – OMG Blog

Katy Perry in Cosmo – Popoholic

This is disrespectful to Miss PiggyThe Berry

Too easy. – Popsugar

Chris Pine summoning the panty pudding on Details – Just Jared

David Arquette is sorry for that “I haven’t banged my wife in 4 months” thing – I’m Not Obsessed

Kittens make it better. Oh yes they do – Cityrag

Ben Harper is an asshole – ICYDK

We’re all this fat Asian kid at one point during the day – NYC Barstool Sports

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The Only Alien In The Field

October 13, 2010 / Posted by:

Here’s the lq version of Alien Princess RiRi’s video for “Only Girl in the World,” which features her as Raggedy Ann rollin’ on Ecstasy in a field of flowers after the rest of humanity was taken out by gigantic rubber roses from another planet.

You know, this video makes me feel really guilty that I cheated on my book report for Z for Zachariah. I used Cliffs Notes, because I didn’t finish reading it. I should turn a wrong into a right by reading every page of it before writing a FOR REAL book report on it. For extra credit, I’ll create a shoe box diorama based on the central theme of the book. My 7th grade English teacher will totally appreciate this when I turn my project in. Or she’ll be like, “You weird.

via Necole Bitchie

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Gavin Rossdale Comes Clean About Cumming On…You Know Where This Is Going

October 13, 2010 / Posted by:

For millions of centuries, cross-dressing pop star Marilyn has been telling everyone about how how he got a piece of Gavin Rossdale’s bush long before Bush the band came along. Even Marilyn’s friend Boy George co-signed the story that he was with Gavin for 5 years. The story has been everywhere. It’s written in hieroglyphics on cave walls! If you put a black light to the last page of the Bible, you can read it there! Giuseppe Verdi was writing an opera about it at the time of his death! Everyone knows the story, but yet Gavin has always played the “HUH?! WHA? NO HOMO!” card whenever a reporter asked him about it.

Well, Gavin finally dropped the act and admitted to Details Magazine that he rolled around naked with Marilyn back in the day. Gavin also talked about why he denied it in the past:

GR: “I think at the outset there was a sort of fear–that was right at the beginning of Bush, and I didn’t want it to be part of it. It felt like a cheap shot, so I was like, ‘I’m not getting involved.’ I’ve never wanted to appear closed about it. It’s not something I’ve talked about really because it’s always been in the glare of a tabloid world. It’s just one of those things: Move on. When you’re 17, Jesus Christ. I don’t think there’s anything strange about any form of–you’re learning about life. It’s a part of growing up. That’s it. No more, no less.”

Details: So it was just a one-time experimentation?
GR: “Yeah. That was it. You have to know what you like, and I know what I like.”

Now that we’ve gotten that off the table, can Gavin please reunite with Marilyn so that he can restore those eyebrows back to their exquisite glory (see Gavin’s brow situation in the picture above)?

via Queerty

Open Post: Hosted By Mike Rowe Waxing Another Dude

October 13, 2010 / Posted by:

The cure to menopause might live on the tip of Mike Rowe’s nipple hair, so it would be stupid for him to lay on top of a waxer’s table. But Mike wanted to partake in the sport of wax torture for his show, so he grabbed a strip and pulled out his cameraman’s chest hair. They all came.

This is the closest you will ever get to living out your soppy wet dream of re-enacting the candle wax scene from Body of Evidence with Mike Rowe.

via ONTD (For my mom. Seriously, my mom has it bad for Mike Rowe. OH GOD. What did I just do?)

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The Obama Streaker Got Got

October 13, 2010 / Posted by:

Juan Rodriguez, the Staten Islander who stripped off his clothes and dignity to streak in front of President Obama, will have to accept the horrified stares directed at his succulent fupa as payment, because a $1 milllion money order is not going to find its way into his titty alley anytime soon. The billionaire who offered up the cash to the first bitch who promoted his new website by running nekkid ass nekkid in the presence of Obama is slowly backin’ up backin’ up and refusing to pay until the president himself confirms this mess. The White House responded with this:

Evil billionaire mastermind Alki David tells The New York Post that even though the attention from Juan Rodriguez’s stale Honey Baked Ham dash doubled his website’s traffic, he wants to hear it from Obama’s mouth before he pays the bounty for the booty. Alki stroked his fluffy white Persian cat, raised his brow of wickedness and said, “We’re waiting to hear from the president to see if he, in fact, saw Juan Rodriguez during the streaking challenge. It’s a lot of money. We’re not going to give the money away lightly.” Cackle! Lightning! Cackle!

Tell that to Juan Rodriguez, the 24-year-old father of three still thinks that he’s going to get the cash. Don’t hold your fart, Juan, it’s not coming. Juan cried to The Post that he used $1,300 of his own money to pull off the stunt and said that he risked getting shot in the anus by the secret service.

Does Gloria Allred also represent scorned sadlings with penises, or is she strictly snatchly? Because this is totally a case for her! Alki David (which is also The Hoff’s bar crawl nickname) must pay for this! You can’t promise a whore a pile of money to take off his clothes and stroke your website’s dick until it jizzes and then not pay up! But then again, you shouldn’t take off your clothes and stroke a website’s dick until it jizzes without getting paid in full first.

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