Speaking Of Struttin’ That Ass…..

July 6, 2010 / Posted by:

Yup, this is what that hot bitch in Alabama was talking about.

Open Post: Hosted By An Ass Struttin’ Hater

July 6, 2010 / Posted by:

The worst part of this video is when it ENDS, because I have a feeling that this hot piece was just about to really break down the ass strut for us. Dude backs his shit up like he’s trying to get poked in the ass by a top who keeps doing the Moonwalk (BEEN THERE!).

This clip that will keep you struttin’ that ass for the rest of the day is from a local news station in Huntersville, Alabama. This hot piece is telling the reporter how he can’t stand it when fancy falutin’ bitches strut their asses down the sidewalk without a care in the world, because walking is a luxury for them. But he doesn’t drive a Mercedes, so he has no choice but to walk all the way from Huntsville to Guntersville which leaves him too tired to STRUT THAT ASS! At least that’s what I think he’s going on about it.

But he shouldn’t have to walk anywhere. I mean, all he has to do is strut that ass down the sidewalk and every car will pull the hell over and take him wherever he needs to go! Shit, I don’t even own a car and I’m about to hot wire one so that I can drive all the way to Alabama to offer him a ride if he promises to strut that ass for me live.

via Tabloid Prodigy

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Frasier Did Call His Kids On Father’s Day

July 6, 2010 / Posted by:

There’s no longer a need to go down to Michael Lohan’s room at the halfway house and collect his “WORST FATHER OF THE CENTURY” award to give to Kelsey Grammer, because apparently Frasier did call his children on Father’s Day contrary to the rumor going around. On Friday, it was reported that gold digging hero Camille Grammer was pushed to finally file for divorce after Kelsey didn’t call his kids on annual CALL YOUR FATHER DAY. In a post on his site, Kelsey says this isn’t so:

The truth is I did call my kids that evening. Frankly, I was surprised that they did not call me in the morning, but I was thousands of miles away and working that day so I didn’t give it a second thought.

I called them to see how they were doing as I do almost every night at around the same time, 11 PM my time, 8 PM their time, just before they go to bed. Mason had been upset earlier that day because she was missing me. I spoke to her for some time and reassured her that I loved her and that I would be seeing her soon.

Gossip and the rumor mill always thrive during times like these, as in the Father’s Day story. Whatever might be said, I ask that you take the ‘high road.’ I intend to do the same.

Camille and I had been discussing the possibility of a separation for some time before all this happened. She finally decided she should file. I respect her for this decision … I hope to have a great partnership with her in the raising of our children.

Kelsey also pissed on (HAHAHA he can do that and you can’t, Camille) the rumor that he’s already fucking on another piece. Kelsey wrote: “Certainly, the time will come when I do see another woman. I expect Camille to see other men. I hope people and the press will understand that we are both free to carry on with our lives.

Now that FathersDayGate is officially closed, can we focus on more important things? No, not what Camille Grammer is going to wear during her tell-all interview with The Insider (that is important though). Can we focus on how I can’t stop humming the “Tossed Salad & Scrambled Eggs” song every time I write a Frasier post. The last face I want to picture when I think of tossed salad is Kelsey’s.

Well, It’s Been Fun

July 6, 2010 / Posted by:

Pack up all your shit and let’s all say our goodbyes to easy access porn, videos of cats riding on Roombas, 505 errors, and up-to-the-second reports of what strangers are having for lunch, because Prince has puckered up his lips and kissed the internet goodbye. The magical unicorn tampon who once offered up his album for free on the internet has declared that the world wide web is dead. Shut it down, Al Gore, the puckery precious one has spoken!

In a hilarious interview with The Daily Mirror, Prince says that he’s doing something revolutionary by only releasing his new album in CD form (Yeah, I don’t know what that is either…Cross Dressing form?). Prince won’t ever release it himself on the internet. Prince explains:

“The internet’s completely over. I don’t see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won’t pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can’t get it. The internet’s like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can’t be good for you.”

If by numbers he means classic moving images of bitches falling off of coffee tables, then he’s right. And I don’t want the numbers to leave my head!

Do we really want to go back to jacking off next to each other in a crowded porn theater, because we can no longer enjoy fuck tapes from the comfort of our own basements? How am I going to anonymously curse a bitch out?! Do I really have to curse them out in a letter and submit it to the PennySaver in hopes that the object of my hatred reads it? We can’t go back to that! Let’s all grab on to the front door and refuse to let go until Prince makes nice again with the internet.

George Michael Can’t Drive: Part 34,567,774

July 6, 2010 / Posted by:

George Michael needs to add “steering wheels” (right under “public toilets” and “sticking his tongue out in public“) on his list of shit he should stay away from for a while, because he has been arrested again for crashing his car into something! At around 3:30 on Sunday morning, George rammed his Range Rover into the crotch of a Snappy Snap store without asking it first. OH SNAP is right.

George knows the drill, so The Sun says he got out of his Range Rover and politely waited for his old friends, THE COPS, to show up. George was taken down to the station and was later released on bail. A police spokeswhore only had this to say:

“Officers attended and a man in his 40s was arrested on suspicion of being unfit to drive. He was taken to a north London police station and later bailed to return on August 13 pending inquiries.”

The police wouldn’t say if George was boozed or stoned at the time of the crash.

George was busted last year after he smashed into a lorry while driving under the influence of the good shit. In 2007, George was banned from driving for 2 years after he was found asleep at the wheel in the middle of an intersection in North West London.

George is way too seasoned for this shit! That old bitch knows by now that you should park your Range Rover on an empty street BEFORE your trick for the night throws his legs around your neck and starts lapping up your nut sweat. George has already proven that he’s steering wheel-challenged, so 69ing while driving is only for professionals.

Or maybe George is just doing this shit on purpose. Maybe nothing gives him the tingles like getting handcuffed by a cop. If that’s the case, George needs more Craigslist in his life, because he can find that shit on there without even having to get into his Range Rover.

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For July 2nd!

July 6, 2010 / Posted by:

MTV leaks these raunchy photos of their upcoming hit reality TV show, Norwegian Shore. – VirtualBooby

Runners-up:

Rooty Johnson, Tooty Johnson, Fresh Johnson and Fruity Johnson. – zomay

With that strong family resemblence, you can see where Cameron Diaz gets her good looks. – OurMissC

After surgery, the next step for Spencer Pratt’s family is changing their name. – chloe7585

via ETI

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