Vagina Power is back! Behold! Alexyss Tylor has returned and once again preaching the power of the dick. Somebody get this woman in touch with Hilary Clinton or Obama, because she really needs to be Vice-President or something. She has a strong message and people need to listen. She’s right. Dick will fuck the water of you! There a lot of master dicks out there that know the terrain of the pussy! There are many men that will bring you gifts of hot dick and nuts! They will fill you with some of their yum yum and cum. Seriously, she said of all that. She’s a damn poet! This is NSFW, but take the chance. She’s my Jesus!
Last night was the premiere of “Rock of Love” starring Bret Michaels. It’s the exact same premise as “Flavor of Love.” A bunch of skanks (and some ladies) try to win the hard-on of Bret Michaels of Poison. I’m not going to do a full-blown recap as I did in the past with FOL, but I’ll throw around some gems from each episode throughout the week.
Today, I’m going to cover two of my favorite chicks. The first chick is Heather who is described as the “35-year old stripper” or “Heather the Whore.” I mean how can you not love someone like that. The below clips starts with Bret first meeting the girls and he decides to take pictures of them. This is basically a great moment for the women to act like 2 cent hookers for Bret. The first chick tries so hard to bring the sexy, but she has a look on her face that is more reminiscent of when Bambi found out his mom died.
The second chick Jessica is just straight-up FUG! Did they find her at the bottom of a gutter? I mean…..then it’s Heather’s turn. She decides to really bring on the hotness by showing her tits. This is what the show is all about and at the moment I knew Heather was my favorite bitch in the house. Because if I had tits I would probably do the same thing everywhere I went!
My second favorite girl had too many amazing clips to mention here. Tiffany was eliminated right from the beginning along with 4 other girls. They were asked to go home before entering the house by Bret’s “head of security.” I’m guessing they were too ugly which is hard to believe, because some of those chicks made Kimberly Stewart look like Jessica Alba.
Anyway, Tiffany begs Big John (head of security) to let her back in. He agrees and she repays him by getting SHITFACED. I mean this chick gets bombed. She probably starting hugging on the freon from the AC to speed it up. The clip below is Tiffany trying to have a conversation with the other girls, but bitch needs her own interpreter. I have no idea what she’s saying! That being said, she’s all sorts of hot.
Tiffany is right. All the other girls drink “haterade.”
The show will be repeating all week and I seriously have high hopes for this one. Bret basically only cares about screwing as many chicks as possible and those chicks are completely on the same page which makes for great TV!
There’s nothing to do in the Big Brother house, but talk. That’s probably why the oddest stories come up. The clip above features Silver-Dollar-Joe telling the other men that he was once had sex with a pumpkin and was so into it that he almost “filled it up.” Pumpkin pie! BARF!
He brings up, because all the dudes in the house are all horny and haven’t jacked off for a while.
Sex with a pumpkin?! That’s a new one.