Blue Light Special

September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
In honor of it being such a slow news day, I bring you my favorite hookers of the month! These two gorgeous ladies are a mother and daughter hooker team. 62-year-old Mary Clark Duncan and her daughter, Theresa, were arrested in Fort Payne, Alabama after they were caught allegedly soliciting sex to an undercover cop.
They agreed to have sex with the officer for $30 for both of them. That's $15 each. They charge more than me! 
The two are now sitting in jail. Shame! How are lonely men in Alabama getting their discount cooze? Think of the people!
$15 may not seem a lot to you and me, but you can get a lot of good shit for $15. That's a meal for two at IHOP. That's a meal for like 4 at McDonald's. That's 2 packs of ciggies! Damn, that's probably a down payment on a nice ass trailer in Alabama! Don't joke.

Mario Probably Took Them

September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
Extra TV's Mario Lopez spoke to Oscar De La Hoya about those tranny pictures that his lawyer have already denied as being real.
Mario said, “Oscar and I have been friends for a long time…we go way back. He [De La Hoya] is absolutely not in those pictures…very clever photo shop.”
“I just spoke with Oscar about the photos and we both got a big kick out of them. He said he looked like his aunt. They are so far fetched. Clearly they are fake. When you are at the top a lot of people want to drag you down.”

Mario said Oscar denies the pics are real, but says he isn't upset. “He wasn’t upset. He was sort of laughing. His wife was teasing him that he looks better in lingerie than she does. He’s very comfortable in his own skin…he’s really not sweating it.

You just know Mario and Oscar have panty parties.

See…this is why I think Vanessa Hudgens leaked her own nude pictures. She didn't deny it. She just played the victim role and basked in the glory of the spotlight. If she wanted it to go away, she would've denied it.

So it makes sense that Oscar is denying, denying, denying. Homegirl just wants them to go away.

That being said, Slater is such a hot piece.


Paris Is Not Classy Enough For A Beer Festival

September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
Paris Hilton has been banned from attending Germany's Oktoberfest this year after organizers felt she "cheapened" last year's event. Paris attended in 2006 to promote her own canned wine. She even dressed up in a traditional Bavarian costume.
Locals were outraged and accused event producers of selling out.  
Munich's tourism chief said that this year celebrity promotions are strictly prohibited.
Go Germany! Now if other countries including the U.S. would follow.
Canned wine! Don't laugh! That's like high-class shit to some people. You know Britney thinks she's a fine, elegant lady when she drinks canned wine. 
Thanks IslandGirl


September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
First of all, that man in the picture has nothing to do with this story. I just like polar bears and that one looks friendly.
Anyway, Lindsay Lohan struck up a friendship with Tony Allen of the band "Dead Stays Alive" while they were in rehab together in Utah. He has already denied that the two have been doing sex times in rehab. His wife however is singing a different tune.
Tony is married to British heiress Stephanie Allen. Stephanie's family founded Linpac Packaging and they are worth over $1 Billion. Stephanie is also mother to Tony's twin 8-month-old daughters. Friends of the heiress say she's already kicked him out of the house.
A source said, "She's has had it, period. They tried forever to have kids. She went through IVF three times and suffered two miscarriages, and when they finally got two beautiful babies, he hooks up in rehab with a girl half his age."
"He is trying to live out this rock star fantasy at 40. All Stephanie wanted was for him to be a good husband and father."
Blohan is due to be released from rehab on or about October 15th. White Oprah said she plans to travel to Europe and "study." Study the herbs of Amsterdam I'm sure.
Tony is still sticking with his story that they aren't fucking. "We're great friends. We share a common affliction, and we just talk about life sometimes."
Yeah, they talk life while she sucks his dick. Speaking of…have you ever talked with peen in your mouth? It's good fun. Try saying your ABCs.
And I believe this story. Nobody can deny the firecrotch and now Tony can kiss the millions and millions goodbye!  

Afternoon Crumbs

September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
I'm Jealous: KFC offers JLo a fried chicken VIP party – Hollywood Rag 
The cheerleader midget and Milo Ventimiglia dirty dance – IDLYITW 
Bennifer 2.0 – Popsugar 
Jessica Simpson is a drunken mess – Egotastic!  
Posh' pig snout is sniffing at Becks!Just Jared
Bert & Ernie are DeNiro & Pesci Cityrag 
Adrian Lima's fugly face poses – Hollywood Tuna  
Pamela Anderson covers up at the beach (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather 
Dan Rather sues everybody – A Socialite's Life

Miss Patti Is Pissed!

September 20, 2007 / Posted by:

Patti LaBelle flipped out on a fan during a concert in Kansas City, MO last Friday night. It all started when Patti brought up an audience member and the two started dirty dancing a little bit. Patti then said to the audience “Oooooh, he was coming so close.” The dude (who is clearly homo) responded with, “I think you wanted it more than I did.”

Wrong move. Patti stops the music and immediately chews the bitch out. She tells him “You’re rude! You are very frickin’ rude! I don’t play that! This is not Lil’ Kim! Do you know who I am?!

They work it out in the end, but Patti was pissed. Give me more Patti! I love it when you go off.

Thanks Judy



September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
The devil has once again brought the sloooooowwwweeeeest news day ever! I'm about to start writing about turtles and cats. What's stopped me in the past, right?
This is why I bring you Kelly Osbourne on some British chat show trying to beat the world's record for eating jelly with chopsticks. By the looks of these pictures she didn't do it.
Amateur. All I would need is some sugar and I'd make that shit go down so fast. Sugar should go on everything: Cokie-Cola, white bread, jizz….whatever!

Aretha Franklin Wants You To Maintain The Sexy

September 20, 2007 / Posted by:
Empress Aretha was one of the guests at last night's fragrance launch party for Diddy's latest. Diddy is so confident in his new women's perfume "Unforgettable Woman" that he has challenged his female counterparts to a smell-off.
He said, "I am going to challenge my female counterparts, from J.Lo, Mariah (Carey), Sarah Jessica Parker to Gwen Stefani that my fragrance is better than theirs. I am a man, and I know how a woman should smell."
Yeah…yeah Diddy. You're the King of Everything. We know. However, I'm much more interested in knowing what a Terrence Howard perfume would smell like. I mean he's the one that really, really cares about hygiene and scents. I'm guessing it would be a mixture of rubbing alcohol, baby powder, crazy pills, gun powder and ammonia. Fragrant! 
Aretha is so hot that I can't take it. I just want to nap in her bosom forever and ever. 

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