At the Kustendorf Film Festival in Belgrade, Serbia last night, director Emir Kusturica revealed a statue of Johnny Depp keeping it sexy while leaning against a telephone pole. Yes, that is supposed to be a statue of Johnny Depp. It looks more like a parched Katherine Moennig dressed as a young Skeet Ulrich at a Scream costume party. Johnny might agree. But since Johnny’s a polite gentlemen, he made sure to swallow the vomit of laughs that tried to pour out of his mouth.
I’m still going to raise my mug of coffee to Serbia this morning, because think of all the drunk tourists and locals this statue is going to attract. Someone needs to create a Tumblr page devoted to showcasing all the pictures of boozed up skanks licking on this statue. Belgrade never has to worry about hiring someone to clean up the pigeon shit. That statue is going to get more tongue than Tommy Girl’s ass lips at a Scientology pot luck.
Any inanimate object that attracts such acts of sluttery always gets my seal of approval.
Was it really necessary to hire David Lynch to direct Iron Man 3? – TFBuckFutter
Music fans were excited when they found out that Lady GaGa and Moby were planning a collaboration. Little did they know what this really meant – ReallyNow
What happens at Comic Con, stays at Comic Con, Luthor. – salacious
The latest celebrity scandal: Jane Jetson catches George with Rosie. Elroy catches the moment on the Iphone he got for Christmas. – loozer
Dillie the Linguine Deer, Spaghetti Cat’s future dinner date!
Veterinarian Melanie Butera of Ohio took Dillie in when she was just 3-days-old after her drunk slut mother wasn’t feeling her ass. Instead of taking care of her baby, Dillie’s mother wanted to spend her nights sniffing ass and snorting dandelions.
Melanie and her husband moved Dillie into their home and began to nurse her back to health. When Dillie was as good as new again, they decided to keep her. While they were at work all day, the couple’s poodle named Lady cared for Dillie. It didn’t take long for Dillie to pick up Lady’s habits and start acting like a dog. Dillie is now their household pet, and she sleeps in the same bed with them at night. They put a GPS collar on Dillie in case she wanders off too far.
Dillie is also just like us! Homegirl feasts on linguine and ice cream for all her meals. And unlike us (well, most days), Dillie’s ass probably explodes into a tidal wave of deer diarrhea at least once a day. Clip of Dillie’s story is below:
Here’s a few pictures of Dillie with her owners and Lady. And if I’m seeing what I think I’m seeing in the first thumbnail below, I won’t be surprised if Dillie and Lady run off to Vermont to get married. Interspecies lezzie love! There’s nothing like it.
Jason Bateman (41)
Mikalah Gordon (22)
Caleb Followill (28)
Angela Lindvall (31)
Karen Elson (31)
Dave Grohl (41)
LL Cool J (42)
Emily Watson (43)
Mark Addy (46)
Shepard Smith (46)
Steven Soderbergh (47)
Carl Weathers (62)
Faye Dunaway (69)
Trevor Nunn (70)
Andy Rooney (91)
Kourtney Kardashian’s tortured baby Mason Dash Dicksick isn’t even a month old and he’s already got a few magazine covers stuffed into his diapers. And in every picture I’ve seen of him, Mason’s got his eyes sealed shut as if he’s just seen Bruce Jenner’s face.
I know you’re probably saying some shit about how all newborns keep their eyes shut, but this is Kourtney Kardashian’s baby we’re talking about. That boy does not want to witness a trainwreck over and over again. Mason only opens one of his eyes to see if the coast is clear so he can make his escape.
When Mason wiggles his ears, Kourtney probably thinks her soothing voice is tickling his lobes. NO BITCH, he’s just trying to find a way to close his ear holes too.
And is it just me, or does Kourtney have 5 o’clock Khloe face on that cover?
Dexter’s Michael C. Hall delivered some sad face news today. Michael announced that he has been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Michael said he was fortunate enough to be diagnosed with a “treatable and curable” condition. He’s almost finished with treatment and said the cancer is in remission. He plans to continue to undergo treatment.
Michael’s rep also said that he’s not going to let that shit fuck with his life and he will attend the Golden Globes this Sunday with his wife/on-screen sister Jennifer Carpenter. Michael is up for Best Actor in a Drama.
Here’s hoping that Michael pulls a Dexter and murders that cancer.