Yes, Please Cover It Up

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Beyonce is the latest performer to be asked by Malaysia to keep her ass covered and tone her show down. Most recently Gwen Stefani had to completely re-vamp her wardrobe in order to perform in the country and not face fines or death. Ok, just fines not death, but I thought death sounded good.
Beyonce's concert organizer, Pineapple Concerts (I like that name, they'd be my organizers if I had a concert) said, "Beyonce won't be able to do the kind of show here that she does elsewhere. It's a pity to restrict her because her costumes are all tasteful and glamorous."
Last year The Pussycat Dolls were fined $4,400 for ignoring decency laws. That's it?! They should've been thrown into whore slavery.
The country's guidelines state that female artists must cover up from their chest to their knees including shoulders. Even though Gwen Stefani did this, they still weren't happy.
"Outside, she still wears sexy clothes and influences teenagers who idolise her. It's bad to have immoral artists visiting Malaysia."
Xtina decided to skip the country on her tour of Asia, because she couldn't tone down her slutiness.  

Jakey’s Gal Pal Busted!!!

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Austin Nichols was one of the stars of the now cancelled HBO series "John From Cincinatti" but he's probably most known for being one of Jake Gyllenhaa's main bitches and there were rumors that the two were bumping buttholes.
Austin was arrested in Jackson, Michigan early this morning on suspicion of drunken driving according to Austin was pulled over on N. Jackson Street at 2:30 this morning and given a breath test then taken to jail.
Busted gay face! He actually looks alright from the front, but turn him to the side and he looks like a caveman who's head has been bashed one too many times.
What's with these bitches and drunk driving? Is it just that everyone drinks and drives? I don't think I know one bitch who has gone to jail for drunk driving. Ok…my uncle did…and one of my cousins…and one of my friends….oh…and…I'll shut up.

Why Can’t You Just Keep Your Mouth Shut?

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Here's the problem with a lot of celebrities. They feel that their opinion matters. Just because you're asked the question doesn't mean you have to answer it. Sometimes not answering will save your ass.
AccessHollywood's Shaun Robinson asked Jamie Foxx what he thinks about this whole Michael Vick thing. Instead of Jamie saying "It is what it is" or something like that, he said:
“It’s a cultural thing, I think. Most brothers didn’t know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn’t know that was Fed time. So, Mike probably just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star. I know that cruelty to animals is bad, but sometimes people shoot people and kill people and don’t get time. I think in this situation,he really didn’t know the extent of it, so I always give him the benefit of the doubt.”
The thing is Michael Vick is a wealthy, educated man. He went to Virginia Tech. It's not like he stayed in the neighborhood. Even if he did learn that hurting animals was ok as a young age which I highly doubt, he went out in the world and got perspective and you would think that along the way he would've learned that hurting animals isn't such a good thing. Michael knew exactly what he was doing. It wasn't him being "naive."
And just because people get away with crimes doesn't mean someone should get a slap on the wrist, because they didn't know the laws. But he'll get away with it. All those celebrities do!

Trannies On TV!

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Nip/Tuck creator Ryan Murphy and Brad Pitt will team up for a new FX show about the life of a transsexual. The show entitled "4 oz." will focus on a family guy who decides to become a woman. Brad Pitt will executive produce. 
Finally! A perfect role for Angelina Jolie! Calm down…Seriously though, I love trannies more than I love kittens and I'm so glad there's a show for them. 

Kiki Got Robbed!

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Who robbed Kiki?! Come on! Show me your hands! I'll check them for grease and stank.
Some dude named Jarrod Beinerman of Brooklyn allegedly robbed Kiki blind. Kiki was staying in the penthouse of the SoHo Grand Hotel while shooting some movie. The NY Post reports that Jarrod robbed her ass of a $13,000 Balenciaga purse, wallets, cameras and her iPod.
The thieving went down on August 9th right after Kiki left her room at 4:48 in the morning. Jarrod and another dude waltzed in the hotel after Kiki left, took a freight elevator up to the penthouse and walked into an open door. Genius. Like taking candy from a skank whore.
Police were able to ID the dude using hotel surveillance. He was arrested leaving court for possible heroin-sale charges.
Riddle me this. Homegirl has a $13,000 purse yet she looks like like that? She needs to put that purse on eBay and use the profits to buy some shampoo and Cetaphil or something.

These Rehab Joints Are Making A Killing!

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Dreamboat Doherty has checked himself into the Cloud's House rehab facility following reports that he attacked a female photographer. Dreamboat's Aunt Cassidy apparently  persuaded him to go back to rehab and clean his life up for good. 
A family source said, “Pete’s decided it’s best to go into rehab. He really wants to make a go of changing his ways. So far despite our help, he has struggled to do it and that’s why he’s seeking help elsewhere.” 
Pete and his girlfriend, Irina Lazareanu, had been staying with his cousin. So, I guess those Kate Moss rumors were just that. Dreamboat is due back in court to most likely get off again on September 4th.
We need to open up our own rehab facility. These shacks charge a shit load to basically take these hos on walks, make them a Lean Cuisine, talk to them for a quick minute and allow them to go wherever they want. Shit, I can open up my apartment as a rehab clinic. Nobody will ever get clean, but it's not like they do anyway! 

A Wonderful Place!!!

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:
Yesterday, White Oprah spoke to both 24/Sizzler and E! Online . She spoke about Blohan getting 1 day in the slammer. You would think she would say "thank you" to the judges and lawyers for basically letting that freckled skank get away.
“It’s really sad. Something bad is going to happen, I’m afraid.”  
What the hell is going to happen in 1 full day?! 1 full day of sitting by herself in a jail cell. Just Lindsay and herself…..oh ok I know what she means now. Lindsay will probably get bored and either cut herself for attention or try and sniff the concrete.
“My children and I are in a wonderful place in our lives and people just want to make things up and see us fail!”

Remind me never to go to this "wonderful place." Her daughter is an addict headed for jail, her ex-husband is a sleaze ball, her younger daughter is most likely going to be hitting the pipe in a couple of years and they are in a wonderful place?  
Somebody got effed in the ass with the delusional stick!

Birthday Sluts

August 24, 2007 / Posted by:

Chad Michael Murray (26)
Rupert Grint (19)
Dave Chappelle (34)
Marlee Matlin (42)
Craig Kilborn (45)
Steve Guttenberg (49)
Stephen Fry (50)


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