Bitch, Why Is Your Baby Orange?!

July 4, 2007 / Posted by:
E! Online swears on their mother's life that Christina Aguilera is knocked up. Christina and husband, Jordy Bratman, have yet to confirm this. It's been rumored for the past few weeks that Xtina is in fact expecting. I've been told by someone that works on her tour that she's already having wardrobe changes to make room for a baby bump.
She's currently on tour in Asia and will finish up her tour in August in Australia.
She can have a joint baby shower with Nicole Richie. Damn, all these sluts are getting knocked up! Britney's next and you know it. 

Birthday Sluts

July 4, 2007 / Posted by:

Gloria Stuart (97)
Ute Lemper (44)
Geraldo Rivera (64)
Gina Lollobrigida (80)
Neil Simon (80)
Eva Marie Saint (83)


Jordan’s Ugly Baby

July 3, 2007 / Posted by:
Jordan gave birth to a baby girl last week and although she hasn't told us her name, she is speaking to OK! Magazine about her new bundle of joy.
Jordan said, "I think all newborn babies are ugly. They look like little old men. I think they need a few weeks to grow into themselves. I remember Junior looked like he had a big nose. People go, 'Aw how cute' and I think, 'No, how ugly!'. It's very rare you find a cute one so young but Junior's gorgeous now."
Don't let her little girl hear that or she'll grow up, get a beat weave, dye herself orange and put melons in her chest. Oh wait, that might be a good thing in the Andre household.
Jordan needs to speak for her own! I was a beautiful newborn baby. A supermodel newborn baby. All the pedos wanted this. Ok, I'll stop.


July 3, 2007 / Posted by:
Johnny Knoxville filed for divorce today in a Los Angeles County court. Johnny and his wife Melanie cited "irreconcilable differences." The two have been married 12 years and have one daughter together. Johnny wants joint custody and will pay support. There was no pre-nup.
Johnny's (real name Philip John Clapp LOL)  lawyer signed the documents back in January, but it wasn't filed until today. The couple announced a separation back in February.
There's been a lot of rumors that this marriage has been over for several years. Johnny has been linked to Kate Moss, Jessica Simpson and other.
Clapp! He should've kept that last name. It's more fitting. I say good mittens! Melanie's better off. He can't be trusted. That being said, I'd knock boots with him anytime.
Source: TMZ
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All Sorts Of Disheveled

July 3, 2007 / Posted by:
Helena Bonham Carter strikes me as one of those women that doesn't give a fuck what she wears as long as she likes it. I mean you would have to not give an eff if you wore that. It looks like it was taken from a homeless Victorian person. Did they have homeless people in Victorian times?
Helena just finished shooting Sweeney Todd where she played Mrs. Lovett. I'm guessing it's taking her a while to get out of character.
Here's Helena and that hot piece of man, Tim Burton, at today's Harry Potter premiere in London. 

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