I Need This To Happen

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
I interrupt celeb-bashing to bring you an open prayer!
This little post goes out to all New Yorkers that miss the warm and gooey taste of the deliciousness that is In-N-Out. I'm not even joking when I say that when I moved here from Los Angeles the hardest thing to get over was the fact that there wasn't one In-N-Out here. Well, that and there wasn't an IHOP close by…but I used to eat In-N-Out like daily. No wonder I still have lethal farts.
My heart skipped a few beats when I just read in Gawker that the Kingdom known as In-N-Out is thinking about opening a NYC location. Lines would from around the world if this happened. Now if they opened an In-N-Out/IHOP I think I'll kill myself. Well, I'll kill myself from ODing on grease and butter.
Ok..back to celeb-bashing!

Mission Accomplished

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
Jaime Pressly has been saying some wacked things lately and I'm guessing she needs a little publicity. Well, it worked! This time she's blabbing about how she hated being pregnant and how she thinks people who adopt kids are lazy! Dumb skank!
Jaime said, "As a new mom I'm supposed to go on about how wonderful it was to be pregnant. Well, I don't buy into that. The truth is that I love my baby to bits, but the rest of it sucked. Pregnancy was the biggest killer for me. I hated it – I hated being fat. My hormones were all over the place and I acted like some lunatic, picking fights with my boyfriend over how he made my coffee.

"On top of that I had this hideous 'pregnancy mask' skin discolouration which completely covered my face.

"You can normally use creams to disguise it, but not when you're pregnant, so I had to walk around looking like I was horribly disfigured. This may sound arrogant, but I'm used to looking hot . Just wanted to cry all the time."

Did she just say "used to looking hot?" Jaime isn't a dog, but she's no peach either.

She goes on to say, "Some women just skip having babies or adopt because they don't want to get fat or they haven't put in the time to find a partner. It's great to adopt, but a lot of adoptions are motivated by vanity and laziness."

Did this bitch take a National poll? I think people adopt for different reasons, but how can she say that it's awful being pregnant and then say people only adopt due to laziness. This dumb ho makes no sense!

Lastly, she wants to be a slutty mother. Fuck, she's confusing me.  "I'm having a party and then a holiday and I aim to be in a super-slutty outfit for the first and a swimsuit for the second. I love being a mother, but I want to be a super sexy mother with a better body than ever before. When I pull on my spray-on jeans for my party, I want to look in the mirror and like what I see."

That interview is everywhere. Methinks Jamie has been hittin' the "whippits" a few too many times. 


Source VIA Celebitchy



Get PETA On The Clam Now!

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
If you're going to dress like a Laughlin, NV stripper than fine, but to put your dog through the same humiliationn….that's just beyond cruel.
By the way….she actually wore this out….to go shopping at a Malibu pet shop apparently.
$5 for a blow, $20 for a lay! Free Herp with every purchase!

Afternoon Crumbs

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
She totally ordered the J.D. wingsJust Jared 
Michael Vick loves dogs – ASL 
Becks is doing something queer to PoshIDLYITW 
Tardo Spears opens BriBritInc. – BWE
Jessica Alba is a saint – Egotastic! 
Fergie loves watching her man with other chicks – Hollywood Rag 
Hairspray has a premiere in effin Newark, NJ – Popsugar 
Do I spot a little camel on Duff?Hollywood Tuna 
Claymates are unreal – Cityrag 
Kimbo Stewart's ass…and why isn't it that awful? – Drunken Stepfather


July 18, 2007 / Posted by:

Towleroad has brought us our favorite “is or isn’t he gay”, Nick from Big Brother 8 setting fire to his pit hair. Doing douche shit like that may put him back in the straight box, but I do idiotic shit like that and I’m gayer than two pink poodles eating ambrosia.

The best part is when Big Brother tells him to stop. They should also tell Silver Dollar Joe to stop flaming out so much.


There’s Still Hope Jen!

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
Funnies all around this morning! Popbytes has the cover of the latest Star and it features a story about Jane Pitt telling Aniston that Bradley still loves loves loves her. They claim that while Jane was visiting Jen on June 17th, she had a heart to heart.
A source close to Jen said, “The most difficult thing for Jen was when Jane told her ‘I know Brad still loves you.’  That really blew Jen away! Although she’s reluctant to admit it, the fact that Brad still loves her gives her new hope that they can at least have a close friendship.”

“I think she wants Jennifer to understand that Brad isn’t a heartless man. After all they went through; he still has strong feelings for her.”

“Jane told Jen that during their marriage, Brad told her he wanted at least five kids.  That was tough for Jennifer to hear because she was desperate to have children with Brad and was shattered that they were unsuccessful.” 
I'm guessing the source's name begins with a J and ends with an R. Either way, someone leak a copy of this to Angelina and sit back and watch. Maybe she'll get so upset that she'll finally eat something!

Whippits? That’s A New One For Me

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
Blohan might be on ectasy and now she might be on something called "whippits." According to Star Magazine Lindsay Lohan found a way to get high while at rehab. Star reports she even got caught!
A source said, “She uses ‘whippits,’ the tubes that you buy that contain nitrous oxide.  She mixes that with the cold medicine Coricidin.  Together they get you really wasted.  At first, the counselors couldn’t figure out how she was getting high, but then they found the cold medicine and whippit containers under Lindsay’s bed.  Lindsay admitted to using the stuff in group counseling meetings and said she was sorry.”
She apparently got the stuff from a dude that was on out-patient treatment. Promises doesn't check patients when they come in and out, so the dude was carrying boxes in of the stuff.
Star also reports that she drank up a storm at her Birthday party in Malibu and was caught again when she returned to rehab.
Lindsay was also a complete wreck in rehab and accused someone of stealing her Rolex when she was wearing it the whole time.
So…basically nothing has changed. Damn, I think I gave the girl 6 months. It looks like she's not lasting 6 days!
Whippits sounds like a damn drug invented by bored suburban kids. This bitch is nuts. She's going to start drinking paint thinner and shit soon.

Pagans To Perform Rain Magice On Homer!

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
Fox is on marketing overload for their new "The Simpsons" movie. They've done everything from turn 7-11's to Kwik-E-Marts to whoring them out on JetBlue flights. Well, their latest stunt is pissing off the British Pagans.
Homer was painted with chalk in a field next to Cerne Abbas, a symbol of fertility in the hillside above Cerne Abbas. 
The Pagan Federation said, "It's very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing. We were hoping for some dry weather but I think I have changed my mind. We'll be doing some rain magic to bring the rain and wash it away."  
"It's just a publicity stunt for a film and we are talking about a monument which is definitely of great historical significance and a lot of people feel has important spiritual significance as well."

Don't fuck with the witches! While they are doing their "rain magic" can they also do some "sun magic" on NYC. The weather effin sucks right now!

Personally, I think there are bigger things to worry about than some chalk Homer on grass. Another thing…why is the grass so much greener on Homer's side?  





Morning Wood

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
Usher tries to shush up his own fansite – Celebitchy 
More info on J.J. Abrams secret project – ICYDK 
Adam Sandler pit-smelling – Mollygood 
Amanda Bynes is the new Lindsay Lohan – INO 
Mel Gibson is fun again – HM! 
The ever original Gwen Stefani is suing over copycat designs – CN 
Britney gets a job…hosting a party…in Las Vegas – VH1 Blog

They Were Probably Just Saying Hi

July 18, 2007 / Posted by:
It's been reported that Dreamboat Pete Doherty left rehab after only one day. It was also reported that hours after leaving the clinic he was pulled over by the cops! I mean, he's been arrested at least 10 million times so he's most likely best friends with them. They were probably just giving a quick hello.
No, they were citing him for throwing out trash from his cab.
A source said, "He looked pretty sheepish, like he was embarrassed to get done for such yobbish antics."

"He scrabbled around in his pockets to find papers that could prove who he was. The policeman gave him a stern ticking-off, then issued him with the fine. It looked like he got a severe warning."

A severe warning?! He's been busted for driving on drugs and let go….what kind of severe warning could have gotten? "Pete, now we REALLY mean it this time. Don't ever ever do it again. Pinky swear on it!" That's as severe as it gets for Petey.

Pete's lawyer said that he wasn't in rehab, because he's not due to begin detox until next Monday. Petey probably wants to store as much heroin in his system like a bear does before going into Winter.



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