Desperately Seeking The Exit

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
British theater actress, Emma Williams, will play Susan in the new "Desperately Seeking Susan" musical that will begin performances in London this October. The original musical based on the 1985 film that starrted Madonna as Susan and Rosanna Arquette as Roberta will feature the music of Blondie and Debbie Harry. Debbie will also write one original song for the show. 
According to producers, "The show will feature the classic catalogue of Blondie tracks brilliantly woven into the much-loved fish-out-of-water story. Including hits such as 'Heart of Glass,' 'Atomic,' 'One Way or Another,' 'Dreaming' and 'The Tide is High,' [the show] will also introduce 'Moment of Truth,' a new song written by Deborah Harry especially for this production."

The plot? "Roberta Glass, a suburban New Jersey housewife, escapes her humdrum life by reading the personal ads placed by Susan, a street-smart New York City drifter, and her freewheeling boyfriend Jay. Through a quirky twist of fate, Roberta and Susan unexpectedly swap lives and are plunged into a madcap world of jewel heists, magic shows and rock 'n' roll. The collision of their identities takes them on a wild ride of transformation and discovery until they realize that just when you think you know when your life is headed, something magical happens and turns it all around..."

Kill me now. Musical theater really has a way of removing anything interesting from a black comedy and injecting it with cotton candy and fluff.

Above is a picture of Emma in "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." She can really pick em, that Emma!





Lesbian Gangs Are Taking Over The Country!

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:

Last month, Bill O’Reilly did a story on a lesbian gang corrupting our youth and forcing them to commit crimes. Bill’s show claimed that “hundreds” of dyke gangs were raping young girls and beating up men. After the story aired, GLAAD and other gay rights groups attacked Bill and Rod Wheeler, the man who reported on the story, for overstating the story and not giving the facts.

Bill admitted to overstating the story. Rod Wheeler also apologized. He said, “During the O’Reilly Factor segment on June 21st, while engaged in a discussion on Lesbian gangs, I inadvertently stated that gang members carry pistols that are painted pink and call themselves the “Pink Pistol Packing Group.” I was not referring to the gay rights group “Pink Pistols” who advocates for the lawful rights of gays to carry weapons for protection. Further, I mentioned that there are “over 150 of these gangs” in the greater Washington DC area. What I actually meant is that there are over 150 gangs in the Washington DC area, some of which are in fact lesbian gangs. Lastly, I mentioned in the segment that there is this “national epidemic” of lesbian gangs. A better choice of words would have been to say that there is a growing concern nationally, and especially in major urban areas, of increased gang activity, which includes some lesbian gang activity. I apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.”

So there’s not any dyke gangs? That sucks. I was about to put in my application. I mean I could pass. Actually, I’m going to start a gay gang! We’re going to spend our days watching the Golden Girls, making blended drinks, terrorizing Barney’s New York, engaging in dance-offs at Splash and blasting Abba tunes wherever we go. We’ll be bad ass.

Thanks Phoebe


No Wonder Those Bathrooms Are So Skanky

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
Britney Spears can't even caca in a Taco Bell Express bathroom in peace! She was caught by the paps using the loo while her Geico Prince Charming tried to keep them back.
You know she was doing doody in there! She's the type and she probably didn't even flush! Furthermore, have some class Brit! A Taco Bell Express?! At least choose a normal Taco Bell! No dignity.

Her weave is looking mighty elegant these days. L'Oreal should definitely hire her!  

Afternoon Crumbs

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
Red, White and EwwwIDLYITW
Hilary Swank should pull that hat down a little further south – Egotastic!  
Walk it out, FosseCityrag 
Jessica Simpson shows off her lipo'ed flat tummy – Hollywood Tuna 
Alessandra Ambrosio sluts it up in public (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather 
Gwen and Kingston's day at the beach – Hollywood Rag
Posh is just a normal alien moving to the US – Popsugar 
Keith Urban's "Nicole" tattoo – Just Jared 
Anne Heche fights over furniture, no seriously – Celebrity Nation 
Paris Hilton doesn't do DRUGS, got that? – ASL

I Know The Real Reason For Her Visit

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
Beyonce visited two fans in the hospital yesterday after the pyrotechnics in her show fucked up and spilled into the front row. The two fans were hospitalized for minor injuries.  Beyonce, who is the Mother Theresa of our generation, made a low-key visit to the hospital.
Her rep said,  "She was just very concerned about the people injured in the audience. It was unannounced and we kept it very low-key so that she could spend time with them." 
Yeah I bet she was concerned. Concerned with not being sued! She probably showed up with her lawyer, some papers to sign and a couple of autographed CDs to make the trade.
Beyonce said, "My life and career have been blessed with the support of the best fans in the world. Their safety and well-being will always be a top priority and one of my biggest concerns."
I would've been calling my lawyer while in the ambulance. Beyonce better watch it herself with those pyros. Who knows what her hair is made of and that shit might cause a fireball.
Click here to see the "accident"
Above is B with her wax sister and mother at a Birthday party this past weekend.

Crack Baby

July 10, 2007 / Posted by:
According to Amy Winehouse's daddy, her marriage not on the rocks and things are going so well that Amy is planning to have a brat.
Her daddy said, "(Amy and Blake) are thinking of having children soon. She is all caught up in her career at the moment but she often talks about wanting a baby. You just never know what she's going to do next. Amy will probably want to carry on writing and singing so I've told her I would help out with a baby. Her mum Janis and me can fight over who looks after him or her! I wouldn't want Amy to have a nanny, we'll giver her all the help she needs."
Caught up with her career? Bitch would rather booze than work! She better not even think of breastfeeding! Sucking on Winehouse titty is like downing a 40.

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