Afternoon Crumbs

March 10, 2010 / Posted by:

Marion Cotillard’s got titty on the brain – Lainey Gossip

Ken Paves most certainly did not seal this look with a glittery kiss – Hollywood Tuna

Mindy Lawton was ROBBED – The Superficial

Only two ballsacks have touched this ass! Megan Fox wants you to know this – Egotastic!

CoCo’s convincing audition for Avatar 2 (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

FYI: Ryan Gosling’s peen is still available – Just Jared

Mrs. Rojo Caliente fights back – Towleroad

Sarah Jessica Parker is looking hot (note: I really thought that was SJP) – Popsugar

How did this creature escape from Middle Earth?! – Holy Moly!

Tyne Daly looking like she just got back from tanning at Kenny Rogers Roasters – SOW

Mexican vocabulary of the day – WOW Report

You know Tater Head can spin the hell around that pole with her chin – I’m Not Obsessed

Static pussyCityrag

Andre the Giant had the same diet as us, sans the small horses – Hollywood Rag

Gerard Butler trimmed Jennifer Aniston’s bush – Celebitchy

Corey Feldman on Corey Haim’s death – ICYDK


Dear Mattel, I’ll Take Your Entire Stock Of Anderson Cooper Dolls

March 10, 2010 / Posted by:

Technically, it’s a Mad Men Roger Sterling doll, but it looks more like a Mah Boo action (don’t ask what kind of action) figure to my partial eyes. That pucker is unmistakable.

For just $75, the price of 2 martinis in Manhattan, you can own your very own Mad Men doll. Mattel is putting out a Joan, Roger, Don and Betty doll in July to promote the fourth season of Mad Men.

There’s a few things Mattel forgot to add. First of all, where is the pair of red silk panties in Don Draper’s jacket pocket? Second of all, why doesn’t each doll have a Lucky Strike in their mouth and a stiff cocktail in their hand? But most important of all, where in the name of Aretha Franklin is Joan’s magnificent chichis and 8th World Wonder ass?! Is there a plastic drought or something? I know we’re in a recession, but Joan’s body never is. They did her wrong. That doll looks more like my Asian friend Frances dressed as Ginger from Gilligan’s Island for Halloween.

via Vulture

Open Post: Hosted By Burrito The Golfing Dog

March 10, 2010 / Posted by:

Tiger Woods should watch himself, because here comes a hotter bitch who not only dresses better than him, but I’m sure Burrito has humped on more plastic toys too. And let’s not even talk about Tiger’s lipstick vs. Burrito’s lipstick. No, seriously, let’s not.

Best Week Ever put up this clip from 2008 of Burrito the Golfing Chihuahua showing off his skills on the Today Show. Burrito’s owner says he does absolutely everything with her which includes kayaking (where’s the video of that?), shopping, horseback riding, stalking her ex-husband and crying into a pillow every night. Okay, I made those last two up.

Burrito pretty much sucks when it comes to playing golf, but I don’t think he’s trying to hit the ball. I think Burrito’s trying to raise the club high enough so he can hit his owner in the ankles.


Dakota Fanning Doing Cherry Bomb – The Video!

March 10, 2010 / Posted by:

You might have already heard Dakota Fanning sing Cherry Bomb for The Runaways movie, and now here’s the visual to along with it. Yay? Nay.

It might make you feel a little uncomfortable since Dakota is wearing one of Noah Cyrus’ favorite outfits and behaving like that hardcore rock star known as Taylor Momsen.

This is basically what it looks like when your little cousin (the one who always rolls her eyes at you) plays Rock Band without parental supervision.

Here’s The Runaways doing Cherry Bomb in 1976 if you’re feeling the need to compare:

The Photoshop Awards: Gerard Butler & Jennifer Aniston’s W Magazine Cover

March 10, 2010 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston sort of, kind of looks like herself on the cover of W Magazine, but what in Photoshop hell did they do to Gerard Butler? He looks like an extra from Grand Theft Auto. Usually when I see a picture of Gerry Butler, I have to give my eyeballs a shot of penicillin and rub myself down with a body wipe. I don’t feel the need to do that after looking at this cover and that’s a shame! They’ve changed you, Gerry!

Photoshop ridiculousness aside, what is with this pose? Is Jennifer Aniston worried that she’ll have to spend the rest of the day at the free clinic due to getting so close to Gerry’s crotch warts? Did she choke on a ball of cookie dough and Gerry’s trying to give her the Heimlich while remaining sexy? Is he hugging her womb? I don’t know, but it’s not working for me.

And since it’s Show And Tell Wednesday, here’s an amazing e-mail I got in response to The Jennifer Aniston Perfume Contest:

This reminds me. MADDOX, you better pay that last invoice or I’m sending you to collections this time!

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