Birthday Sluts

July 15, 2010 / Posted by:

Willie Aames (50)
Laura Benanti (31)
Travis Fimmel (31)
Diane Kruger (34)
Evan Marriott aka Joe Millionaire (36)
Brian Austin Green (37)
Scott Foley (38)
Beth Ostrosky Stern (38)
Eddie Griffin (42)
Brigitte Nielsen (47)
Lolita Davidovich (49)
Forest Whitaker (49)
Kim Alexis (50)
Marky Ramone (54)
Alicia Bridges (58)
Terry O’Quinn (58)
Jesse Ventura (59)
Arianna Huffington (60)
Linda Rondstadt (64)
Jan-Michael Vincent (66)

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CAMEROOOOOOON Goes To France!

July 14, 2010 / Posted by:

The Eiffel Tower will be dark for the rest of the week, because it knows very well that it can never compete with the blazing torch of glorious flames on top of the First Lady of Cameroooooon’s perfectly sculpted head! A torch that illuminates the artistic strokes of exquisiteness over her eyes and that burns the jealous looks that come flying at her at all times. The movie Paris is Burning needs to change its title, because this is what setting France on fire really looks like. And this never goes out.

Here’s the most gorgeous woman in the world Chantal Biya visiting France on a charity mission to throw some glamour on that drab Carla Bruni. NO! Chantal is there with the other First Ladies of Africa to celebrate Bastille Day. Even though some of the other First Ladies brought their A game with basket weave dresses (Seriously, is that chick in the yellow wearing some a-tisket a-tasket shit?) and peek-a-boo hairlines, Chantal still rules over all of them.

Nothing Says “Hardcore Rebel” Like Macy’s

July 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Whenever you need an outfit that just screams the following:

I like to smoke and so what in your ass if you don’t like it!”

and….

Miley Cyrus is the kind of bubblegum shit that I chew up and spit out for breakfast! Oh, did I say breakfast? I meant brunch, because I’m so rock ‘n roll that I don’t get up until 12!

and….

Hooooooty who give an eff about Haiti?! I don’t! BAM!

You automatically go to the anarchy emporium that is Macy’s, right? So it only makes sense that Madonna and her daughter Lourdes picked 16-year-old edgy rebel Taylor Momsen to be the face of their new clothing line Material Girl, which will only be sold at Macy’s.

Yup, that’s Taylor Momsen. You probably didn’t recognize her ass since she doesn’t have half of the burnt charcoal from your barbecue on her eyes.

And now you know where to go if you want to look like the baddest bitch in the sandbox. I’m already scared of you.

via Daily Mail

I Thought Brad Pitt Shaved His Beard Off

July 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Spencer Pratt was banned from last night’s finale party for The Hills, so he took a few clumps of tissue scooped out of Heidi’s back, slapped it on his face and then tried to crash that shit. Even though Spencer looked like something Nick Nolte coughed up after tossing Radio Man’s salad, the producers saw through his disguise and put his ass on the curb. According to the paps, Spencer later tried to crash the Inception premiere.

Joaquin Phoenix just crawled into Andy Kaufman’s coffin and they rolled over together.

Afternoon Crumbs

July 14, 2010 / Posted by:

PAGING CHRIS HANSEN! PAGING CHRIS HANSEN! We need you to come over and tell Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriend to have a seat…. Bitch obviously just can’t get enough of changing diapers – Hollywood Tuna

You know those make-up masks that Jane Jetson always used to put on in the morning? Well, Kim Kardashian always looks like she has one on – Egotastic!

Eva Mendes wants you to slip a “You’re soooo brave” between her cleavage when she gets nekkid ass nekkid – Lainey Gossip

I can’t wait until Mr. Bear testifies as a character witness for the defense – The Superficial

So that’s what happened to all the fat lipoed from Star JonesTowleroad

The Empress of Lucite training her new slave boys in Miami (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

AnnaLynne McCord shows off her wide ass tan line – Popoholic

Kelly Osbourne no longer has share her hair products or flat iron – Celebitchy

Ryan Phillipe leaves his fly down, doesn’t show much. SELFISH! – Popsugar

And then Kristin Calamri went into this church where all the old friends from her past were……. – Just Jared

M.I.A. on Letterman – I’m Not Obsessed

Snooki looks like a 10lb pickle in a 1lb jar – Hollywood Rag

Jeremy Renner out-hots Channing Tatum in the body department – Moe Jackson

Does Winnie Cooper realize that she’s getting upstaged by a glamorous beauty in a white turban? – SOW

This is what it looks like inside my head when I eat a Double Double – Cityrag

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