Mariah Carey Wants $50 Million From James Packer Because That’s The Amount In Their Prenup
Mariah Carey wanted her former billionaire fiancé James Packer to slip a check for $50 million into her back pocket as she slinked out of their messy relationship. Mariah claimed that moving from NYC to Los Angeles for James put a deep dent in her bank account, and all the stress from James going all Timothy from Glitter on her assistant forced her to cancel the South American leg of her tour. It sounded like Mariah pulled that random $50 million number out of her Spanx-binded ass. As it turns out, Mariah allegedly just wants what she was supposed to get if she and James had followed through with their marriage and subsequent divorce.
Okay, So Prince Hot Ginge May Have Met Up With His New Piece In Toronto After All
(Side note: I want to print out that picture of Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg and wear it in a locket around my neck.)
In my post about Rachel from Suits possibly becoming Princess Rachel from Suits, I repeated a rumor that claimed Prince Hot Ginge was supposed to visit his girlfriend Meghan Markle in Toronto over the weekend but skipped out at the last minute. PHG was reportedly booked on a British Airways flight on Sunday, but no showed after the story of him regularly knighting Meghan’s coochie with his royal crotch sword came out. BUT WAIT! UsWeekly says that PHG tricked everyone because he did spend the weekend with Meghan in Toronto. If you were in Toronto and wondered why your fuck parts were panting and howling, you now know why. It’s because they sensed that PHG was near.
Serena Williams And Lewis Hamilton Might Be A Thing
October was a busy month for Serena Williams. Not only did she get inducted into Taylor Swift’s club of famous friends, but it looks like she might also have gotten herself a new boyfriend. And the gentleman triggering Drake’s latest tear-stained jealous diary entry appears to be Nicole Sherzinger’s ex Lewis Hamilton.
The Daily Mail says that 35-year-old Serena and 31-year-old Lewis were first spotted acting couple-y last Sunday after he won the Formula 1 Mexican Grand Prix. Serena and Lewis held hands, which is Celebrity Sign Language for “We’re probably doing it.” The following day, Serena and Lewis were seen hanging out together at Heidi Klum’s Halloween party in New York. Sadly, they didn’t make it official by showing up in matching Joker/Harley Quinn costumes. Lewis did dress up as The Joker, but Heath Ledger’s version. Meanwhile, Serena dressed up as what most people look like when they try on a swimsuit at American Apparel.
Serena Williams and Lewis Hamilton got pretty cozy on Halloween ? https://t.co/37jTRd809R pic.twitter.com/CENcBU3T20
— Page Six (@PageSix) November 2, 2016
Page Six has a few more details about their Halloween night. Serena and Lewis were reportedly seen “getting cozy” at 1 Oak after Heidi Klum’s party. A source says that they were “super flirty” and didn’t leave each other all night. Not even to go to the bathroom? That’s commitment to a new piece. Maybe that was part of the flirting. Serena would wink at Lewis and whisper “I have to pee, but I’m not going to, because I’ll miss you too much. Ooh, a smile – looks like you like that.” Then Lewis would reply: “No, it’s just the makeup. I’m actually very concerned about your bladder.”
Pic: Splash
Dear Hillary And Trump, It’s Time To Drop Out, Because Susan Sarandon Just Endorsed Jill Stein!
Anyone who followed the ginger feud of this election knows that Susan Sarandon was the Queen of the Bernie-or-Busters. Susan is so pro-Bernie that I would be surprised if she didn’t pull a Katy Perry by dressing as Bernie Sanders for Halloween. If she did, I don’t want to see the pictures, because my fragile soul can take only so many pictures of people in terrifying prosthetics.
Ever since Bernie Sanders didn’t get the Democratic presidential nomination, everyone (read: probably just me, and Debra Messing) has been waiting for Susan Sarandon to say who is getting her vote. Dammit Janet is not writing in Frank-N-Furter as her choice for president. She has gone where some B-O-Bers have gone: to Jill Stein’s side.
Johnny Depp Will Be In The Next “Fantastic Beasts” Movie
The film adaptation of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them starring Eddie Redmayne doesn’t come out for another two weeks. We don’t know if it will be good or if it will be a giant steaming pile of Snorkack crap. But since history has shown that anything written by J.K. Rowling usually ends up making billions of dollars, Hollywood has several sequels planned for Fantastic Beasts. Deadline has learned that one of the roles in Fantastic Beasts 2: Magical Find-aloo will be played by real-life Rowling universe character cosplayer Johnny Depp.
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was a one-book spin-off of the Harry Potter series, but it will be made into at least three (but probably more like five) films. Deadline doesn’t know who Johnny Depp will play in said sequel or if he’ll appear in more than one film. (Grindewald, maybe?) The Hollywood Reporter says that Johnny Depp’s character pops up in a cameo in the first Fantastic Beasts film, which opens on November 18th. Somewhere Tim Burton is reading the news that Johnny Depp got a job playing another kooky character in a film set in a surreal world and started nervously convincing himself that Johnny hasn’t forgotten about him.
Based on my extended knowledge of Fantastic Beasts (from watching the trailer twice), I know that it’s basically a Harry Potter-themed episode of Pokemon set in 1920s New York. So my guess is that Johnny was hired for his looks and will be playing some sort of illegal magic reptile dealer who only accepts unmarked sickles (“No paper trail, man.”). Or maybe Johnny Depp will be playing one of the actual fantastic beasts? Behold, the Unwashed Silver-Studded Scarfweasle. Don’t get too close, he’s been known to go wild on other humans.
Pic: Splash
Lindsay Lohan Sort Of Explains That Weird Euro-esque Accent She’s Been Doing
When the Evita and Mother Teresa of Turkey, Lindsay Lohan, did an interview last month with Turkish television about being the new freckled savior to Syrian refugees, her mouth released a bizarre accent that sort of sounded like Rachel Dratch’s Vlem trying to do a voice impersonation of an American doing the accent of a Russian Leprechaun. I follow LiLo on Snatchchat (because I need something to watch on the toilet) and she mostly talks in her normal “Long Island trucker who gargles with gravel” voice on there, but it seems like whenever she’s in a country where the main language isn’t English, she puts on a vaguely Eastern European accent. Most of the internet discovered LiLo’s “Tom Hanks in The Terminal” accent yesterday when a video of her at the opening of her club in Greece made the rounds. When Madonna heard LiLo’s accent, even she said, “Oh blimey, what an arsehole.” LiLo explained why she sounds like half of Europe busted nuts on her tongue, and her explanation made me roll my eyes in several different languages.