Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Nick Afanasiev, the dude with the longest tongue in the United States.

20-year-old Nick, an actor-type, has a hung tongue that measures 3.5 inches long which makes him the current record holder in the U.S. Nick’s tongue is just 0.37 inches away from beating the world record holder, so maybe he can use a peen pump to stretch it a little more.

Tongue Boy says that he does all sorts of shit with his tongue including texting, cleaning his elbows, picking nose boogers and he can even scratch your uterus with his tongue if it has an itch or knock the pus patches off your tonsils when you’ve got a sore throat.

Nick’s tongue has taken him to the Ty Ty Banks Shows, Jay Leno and a bunch of other shit. Nick’s hoping that his tongue will lead to a career in acting. Well, if that doesn’t work out, Nick’s face can always get a job as a professional seat.

Here’s some pictures of Nick showing off his Tommy Lee of tongues. Nick also has his own YouTube channel in case you (or your snatch, or your no-no) needs to see it in action.

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Birthday Sluts

July 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Tiny Cottle (35)
Taboo (35)
Matthew Fox (44)
Jackie Earle Haley (49)
Jane Lynch (50)
Scott Rudin (52)
Joel Silver (58)
Tommy Mottola (61)
Vincent Pastore (64)
Polly Bergen (80)
Nancy Olson (82)
Harry Dean Stanton (84)
Arthur Laurents (92)

(Image via FreddYo)

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The Prince And The PUPPY!!!!

July 13, 2010 / Posted by:

This picture of Prince Hot Ginge with an adorable puppy friend at the Canine Partners Training Centre is making my body grow a fallopian tube and ovaries (keep your “TOO LATE” comment in your finger tips). This is like Where the Red Fern Grows with a happy ending.

Every now and again a picture come along that is so perfect that you just want to print out a million copies and throw it through the streets. It’s not considered littering, because this is a gift from nature! Shit, I think I’ll replace all the flowers in the park with this beautiful shit. I’ll climb trees and tell the baby birds to the flap the fuck away so I can stick this picture in their nest. Who needs flowers, sunshine and chirping birds when you have a picture like this?

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

July 13, 2010 / Posted by:

It would be refreshing to see a reality star involved in a real relationship with someone who genuinely cares about them. This isn’t one of them. She wants a real relationship, but her man is gay, and in it just for the publicity. She kept thinking that he would change, but her hopes were completely dashed when she caught him in her bed with another guy. Even more shocking is that fact that the other guy is her brother. The couple’s breakup is being scripted and will occur in front of the cameras complete with her dramatically throwing her man out of the house. As of right now, though, you should not expect to see a take on why the relationship ended that includes the outing of the significant other or the brother. (Blind Gossip)

Kourtney Kardashian, Scott Disick (the “s” is silent) and her brother Rob?! The image of Scott nibbling on Rob’s furry b-hole is not one I want to take to bed with me tonight, so I’ll just say that they were just waxing each other’s nalgas and nothing else happened.

I don’t really have a caption for bad drunk behavior, just bad drug behavior. Too bad really because it really fits this one. Honestly, it was not really even bad drinking behavior. There was no yelling or screaming or anything that crazy. This very outspoken D list celebutante and former reality star is a big drinker, but I really thought she could handle her booze better than this. On a recent late night run for more booze, our D lister was so hammered that she puked in the parking lot and then, passed out on the floor of the store. An assistant manager was sent out to the parking lot to find our D lister’s driver who carried her out to the waiting car. (CDAN)

Didn’t we already tell Maggie Griffin to limit her booze intake to one box of wine a night?!

My real guess is Tara Reid, and I bet bitch takes more naps on floors than her own bed.

This C list television and movie actress who is currently on a middling success on a network is not winning friends among the cast. She is currently dating a married producer on the show which she seems to feel gives her carte blanche to be the biggest bitch she can to the female cast. As for the men, she flirts with them all non-stop and got one of her C+/B- list actor co-star into a huge fight with his B list movie girlfriend. The reason? Our troublemaker came into his trailer holding a towel and asked him if he could unscrew a jar of pickles. I kid you not. Pickles. Just at that moment, his girlfriend decided to pay him a visit. Absolutely no one likes her, except the boss. So, she stays. (CDAN)

When I think of pickles, I think of Snooki only, so I don’t have a clue.

Since her gastric bypass surgery and major weight loss, this former TV talk show personality only likes to hang with people who are heavier than she is. (Down2Front via Blind Gossip)

All together now….STARLET MARIE JONES!

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The Greatest Mystery Of All Time Has Been Solved (Possibly Maybe)

July 13, 2010 / Posted by:

St. Angie Jo recently told MTV that she got a tattoo on her thigh that is strictly for Brad, but she wouldn’t say anything more. And just like that “What does Angie Jo have tattooed on her thigh?” became the greatest mystery that has ever fallen upon mankind.

Dan Brown started to write a novel on it. Detective La Toya gave herself a third world orphan baby plastic surgery makeover so she could sneak into the Brangelina family mansion. Brangeloonies everywhere took a sabbatical (more like a SaBRADical…GONG) so they could devote every minute of their day to writing all of their theories on the garage wall using a blue Sharpie (aka the tears of an Aniston). But everyone can drop their magnifying glasses, because one of Jezebel’s readers thinks she might have cracked the code. Here’s her theory:

I think it reads Whiskey Bravo.
My logic:
She says : “Um, it’s for Brad.”
Brad’s real name is William Bradley Pitt.
According to the alphabet the military use: William Bradley = Whiskey Bravo

WHISKEY BRAVO?! After all that!? That sounds like the name of a liquor store off the highway in Barstow, California. This sort of sounds right, but I’m still not convinced.

It could be Whiney Butt? Or Whitey Bear? Or maybe Washy Brad? The latter does make sense, because it serves as a reminder to Brad to disinfect his dirty face before visiting her preying vagina. Even St. Angie likes her victims to wash up before she bites them!

Afternoon Crumbs

July 13, 2010 / Posted by:

In case you missed it, here’s last night’s Running of the Prostitution Whores on The Real Housewives of NJ B-Side Blog

Megan Fox’s replacement has nipples – Egotastic!

Kim Kardassian must really love getting death threats from toddlers – The Superficial

This is totally going to get Tommy Cooze off – Lainey Gossip

Yesterday was Jon Hamm in baseball pants, and today is True Blood’s Alcide in baseball pants. Once again, that is all. – Towleroad

Bongo still exists. And so does Ceiling Eyes Hollywood Tuna

The happiest DJ ever – The Chive

Even Harvey doesn’t recognize this face anymore (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Whoopi Goldberg is defending Mel Gibson because he’s not a racist racist – Celebitchy

Tommy Girl and Will Smith’s romantic dinner for two (you know they totally ignored Jada and the others) – Just Jared

Carrie Underwears’ new husband is kind of hot even though he’s got an early 90s part in his hair – Popsugar

Jared Leto is starting to resemble Susan PowterICYDK

Jewel’s karaoke trickery – OMG Blog

Roller Girl in a bikini – Cityrag

The Hoff’s great big magical comeback…….in Austria – Holy Moly!

Russell Brand looking like one of the Jonas Bros. after hitting puberty – SOW

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