WTF?! #59?! How the hell did Rihanna get #59 on EW's Ultimate List. Shouldn't that bitch be #1?! Fuck even #0! I am over their shit. Breathe Michael…breathe….
I need help. I need Rihanna detoxing. Everyone tells me I have a problem and it's not natural to be obsessed with fugliness, but I can't help it. It must be that shiny five-head that's doing something to my one brain cell.
Please…don't tell me those are implants.
Where the hell do you buy a dress like that?! I've been in Chinatown many times and even they don't sell that shit. I think she got that frock in Tijuana, Mexico.
CoCo brought that hot ass out for Entertaintment Weekly's EW100 list last night in NYC. She better have been #1 on that shit. Those thighs could crack open the hardest walnut.
Pete Doherty has released a book of his diaries called "Books of Albion" and says that he will be drug-free when he marries Kate Moss.
He said, "Smack and needle-free we shall marry in the summer and I become 10 times happier than any given smackhead. Huzzah!"
He also published a note Kate Moss gave him: "You have touched my heart and soul you little fucker . . . You make me high my sweet. My skin shivers and longs to be held by you."
Kate honey, the shivers aren't from your longing for Pete, but because you're jonesing. I'm joking! They love each other and it's a beautiful thing.