A Siegfried & Roy Sex Scandal!!!

August 6, 2010 / Posted by:

And here’s something I never thought would grace my inbox, but it has! One of Siegfried & Roy’s former employees has gone off to The National Enquirer to pass them a video of Roy Horn allegedly groping on his genitals (among other things) without asking for permission. The major twist is that the former employee is not a tiger or any member of the cat family. CUT TO DRAMA CAT!

Even though Roy was left disabled after getting attacked by a tiger 7 years ago, the assistant says that didn’t stop him from doing illegal sex shit on several male employees. The assistant, who started working for Siegfried & Roy in May 2008, says the harassment went on for 2 years. He has already reported it, and is planning on throwing a civil suit at Roy Horn.

The assistant smartly took a page out of OctoSana’s playbook and secretly recorded Roy in the act. He told the Enquirer, “Roy Horn’s sexual advances became unbearable, and began to take on the shape of unprovoked sexual attacks. He ordered me to touch his genitals and groped me repeatedly, both inside and outside my pants. He also threatened to fire me if I didn’t comply.”

This changes my pristine image of Roy! Here I was thinking that Siegfried & Roy don’t partake in sexual pleasures, because they get off on lounging on their waterbed with wind from a fan softly blowing their freshly waxed chests. With their white tigers surrounding them, they gently feed each other fresh grapes. I thought that was sex to them. Everything is shattered now!

Anyways, BoyCulture has a grainy shot from the video. I’m mad that Roy Horn looks like Kim Jong-il without his glasses in that picture. Not only do I have the image of Roy Horn possibly forcing a dude on his crotch, but now I also have the image of Kim Jon-il forcing a dude on his crotch.

via Gawker

St. Angie On Shiloh’s Hair, AGAIN

August 6, 2010 / Posted by:

St. Angie Jo is still getting asked why 4-year-old Shiloh looks like she’s starring in an adorable playground version of Miami Vice as Det. James Crockett. Grazia (via HuffPo) published a quote from St. Angie where she explains why Shiloh has Sandy Duncan hair. St. Angie put it like this:

“It’s not my choice. I have a very strong-willed four-year-old girl, who tells me what she wants to wear and I let her be who she is. I think people think kids should be a certain way, but I feel they should wear what they feel like wearing and they should express themselves. Shiloh cried one night and said, ‘Please cut my hair off. I don’t want to have long hair.’ I’m not going to leave it long because somebody thinks I should.”

So basically, St. Angie blasted “Invincible” from the boombox and cut Shiloh’s hair in front of the mirror while they raised their fists up against the man ala Legend of Billie Jean.

From now on, when nosy bitches ask about Shiloh’s look, St. Angie should simply just say, “It’s Montenegro style! Google it, you dumb fuck!” It will save a lot of time.

And this just in, UsWeekly posted a picture of Shiloh in board shorts at the pool. Here we go! Let’s just tell the dumb hos that will freak out about this that it’s Montenegro RESORT style and move along….

It’s Not A Video! It’s A Moving Painting!

August 6, 2010 / Posted by:

Right after the latest episode of the Italian renaissance performance art piece that is Jersey Shore aired last night, MTV hung up another work of HIGH!!!AR!!!!T when they premiered the 142-second long for Kanye West’s video for “Power” directed by artist Marco Brambilla. Let me pull off my CAPS LOCK key and shove it up my culo as punishment (wink wink) for calling this a video. As Kanye says, it’s a moving painting! It’s like egotry in motion!

My abuelita used to have this lit painting thing of a Jesus near a waterfall hanging in her bedroom. When you plugged it in, it would light up and the waterfall would start flowing. It was the classiest thing I had ever seen (I didn’t know about velvet paintings back then). I actually like this mess from Kanye, because it reminds me of that elegant flowing waterfall. I also like Kanye’s moving painting, because he’s wearing one of Kelly Bensimon’s owl necklaces.

Fun fact: 142 is also the number of times Kanye jizzed into his silk Versace chonies while watching this for the first time.

So That’s What Happened To Charlie!

August 6, 2010 / Posted by:

After Christian lets in that bright ass light at the end of Lost, Charlie is dragged down to the basement to live in a dump house where he and Megan Fox slap each other around while Eminem hops like a bunny in the backyard and RiRi McDonald brings the raw emotion in the front.

This is the video for Eminem and RiRi’s “Love The Way You Lie”, which some say is taking domestic violence and putting it in front of a camera at Glamour Shots. You be the Judge Judy.

One of the things that concerns me the most about this video is that some coked up movie executive is going to see the shot of Megan Fox with flames shooting out of her hands and think to himself, “We’ve finally found our star for the Firestarter remake!” DAMN YOU, EMINEM!

The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For August 8th!

August 6, 2010 / Posted by:

Kfed’s Parkazao theme park will include educational rides like Hokey Pokey bumper cars – Flatbush Hooker IS BACK

Runners-up:

Capitalizing on the success of Slumdog Millionaire, promotion for the forthcoming DVD release of Cumdog Jizzionaire has begun. – LizzieBitch

Given the appearance of this condom having holes cut into it I believe there has been tampering by Ms Jessica Simpson here too. – TexnDoc

Zero to “I’m sorry this has never happened before” in less than thirty seconds – EveryStrangersEyes

Source: Two Wheels via Buzzfeed

Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 6, 2010 / Posted by:

The Geico Pig!!

The Geico Gecko might be searching the streets for empty cans and offering a tail poke for a quarter to horny bitches walking by, because ho might be out of a job soon thanks to this lump of pork Geico is using in one of their new commercials. Although, I don’t know how long this pig is going to last since it’s obvious that he’s addicted to meth, Ecstasy and generic energy drinks. Bitch is going to OD. Or someone’s going to shank him with one of his pinwheels to stop his ass from wee-ing like Tommy Girl at all-you-can-dick night in his dungeon. I wonder what CGI bacon tastes like?

(For Dan & Peggy)

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