Lindsay Lohan Has Really Doggone And Done It This Time! She’s Pissed Off The Furries!
Oh, Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, you do not need this. I mean, Lindsay Lohan’s probably already dealing with non-stop calls from Scam Likely (that’s how Dina Lohan comes up on everyone’s phone) who is begging for commissary money for generic-brand Tang and hair bleach to keep up her beauty during her 18-day stint in the clink for her latest DWI. And now LiLo’s dodging flaming polyester hairballs of rage hocked at her by the furries who are pissed over her latest NFT. Yes, the furries are barking mad at LiLo over an NFT. It’s like 2007 and 2021 collided into a pile of Wait, What?!.
Dina Lohan Got Sentenced To 18 Days In Jail For Her Latest DWI
Back in 2020, Dina Lohan elevated her craft by scoring herself a DWI charge after allegedly hitting another car in an Outback Steakhouse parking lot and then booking it from the scene of the crime. She was facing six months in the slammer for her actions but she got off with a slap on the wrist. Although, she will be jailed. TMZ says Dina has been sentenced to 18 days in the slammer.
The New York Post Called Out Chrissy Teigen For Bullying Lindsay Lohan And She’s Apologized Again
Welcome to 2021— A year unlike any other where Lindsay Lohan gets a three-page piece in The New York Post all about her triumphant return to world domination just as Chrissy Teigen has been shamed into silence for her legacy as a Twitter troll. Do you know how much devastating Lohanaissance material Chrissy probably has saved in her drafts? Sadly, we’ll probably never find out because Chrissy has issued yet another apology for her past behavior and swears she’s left the “insecure, immature” person she used to be in the past. But as Chrissy seeks absolution, there’s one person who’s not going to let her forget the lives she ruined, and that person is Dina Lohan!
Lindsay Lohan Really Wants You To Get Into NFTs
I’ve seen stories about how the whole NFT bubble is about to burst and rich people are going to soon cash out so they don’t lose a ton of money, but here’s Lindsay Lohan talking about how she just sold an NFT for $85,000 and how you should be getting into NFTs too! I mean, why not take the advice of noted financial and tech guru Lindsay Lohan who relies on a career of making money through unhinged TikTok advertisements?
Michael Lohan Was Arrested For Patient Brokering, While Lindsay Lohan Reveals She’s Employed Again
Here are two polar opposite Lohan family member stories. On the one hand, we’ve got Michael Lohan, getting arrested again. This time for allegedly running a rehab patient brokering scam in, where else, Florida. And on the polar opposite end of the spectrum, there’s his daughter Lindsay Lohan, breaking with family tradition by revealing that she has good news worth sharing: she got a job! And unlike her dad, her job is legit and not illegal.
Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Dropping Her New Song As An NFT
It feels like eons since the foaming fount of freckled ginger messbiscuitry that is 34-year-old Lindsay Lohan has darkened our doorstep with any of her jet-setting, grifting shenanigans. Most of us are still too dazzled by her mature handling of the child-trafficking caper in Russia, savvy management style for Lohan Beach House, and expert tackling of mother Dina Lohan and her catfish fiancé, to ready ourselves for more streams of genius that flow aggressively from her brainpan. Wait, did someone just mention aggressive flow and not in the context of a “boyfriend”? Mischief, thou art afoot. Lindsay: “Foot fetishes are twenty dollars extra.”
Today’s installment in the “If I throw enough shady business scams against the wall, something’s gotta stick, right?” life of LiLo is in the form of an NFT, or non-fungible token.