So Edgy It’ll Leave You Bleeding: The 1975 Illegally Smoked At The Brits

February 23, 2017 / Posted by:

The 1975 is an English band whose albums I’ve downloaded, because my 14-year-old first cousin once removed told me that all of her friends love them and I still give in to peer pressure even when the person pressuring me is not my peer. (Although, technically I have the maturity of a 14-year-old. No offense to 14-year-olds.) But anyway, The 1975 (seen above looking like Manchester’s least popular Prince tribute band) were at the Brit Awards in London last night and in between performing and accepting the award for Best British Group, two of its members got “caught” smoking what looks like the good shit under the table. “Watch out, we got a badass over here,” said Keith Richards before fondly remembering the first time he smoked weed in a small space. It was his mother’s womb and it feels like it was yesterday.

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Cheryl Officially “Announces” That She’s Pregnant With A One Direction Baby

February 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Not that she needed to. I doubt anyone has been confusing her stomach situation with pizza bloat. But clearly Cheryl (formerly Cheryl Tweedy Cole Fernandez-Versini) was waiting for the right time and place to officially debut the fetus put inside her by One Direction’s Liam Payne. And that right place just so happened to be in a L’Oreal commercial.

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Jackie Evancho Wants To Enlighten Donald Trump’s Brain About Transgender Rights

February 23, 2017 / Posted by:

As everyone knows, America’s Got Talent season 5 runner-up Jackie Evancho yodeled out the national anthem at Donald Trump’s inauguration last month. That move made many people yodel out a, “Why?????“, because Jackie’s older sister Juliet Evancho is transgender, and Vice-President Mike Pence hasn’t exactly blown an air kiss of support at the LGBTQ community. 16-year-old Jackie said at the time that she was doing it to unite the people, or whatever. But a month later, Jackie isn’t so united with Trump and is also yodeling out a, “Why?????“, over his decision to revoke a federal protection for trans students. Jackie, girl, I hope you cashed that inauguration performance check, because Trump’s team may cancel it now that you’ve shown insolence against our overlord!

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Sinead O’Connor Is Sorry For Saying That Arsenio Hall Gave Drugs To Prince

February 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Sinead O’Connor found herself on the receiving end of a $5 million defamation lawsuit from Arsenio Hall in May 2016 after she suggested on Facebook that Prince died from drugs that were supplied to him by his “bitch” Arsenio. She also alleged that Arsenio once tried to drug her drink at a party at Eddie Murphy’s house years ago. Initialy, Sinead responded to Arsenio’s lawsuit by telling “Arse-inio” to suck her dick, but only if he wasn’t “too busy sucking someone else’s dick.” Sinead’s feelings have now changed.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 23, 2017 / Posted by:

The tiny house that fell off the stage during Katy Perry’s Brit Awards performance last night!

Two years ago, the souls of several dressers, dancers and stylists were sent to the Ninth Circle of Hell as punishment for Madonna falling at the Brit Awards. Someone took a tumble at last night’s Brit Awards, but this time, nobody died, and in fact, a star was born!

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