NASA Vs. GOOP

June 23, 2017 / Posted by:

I wish I could say this was a story about how Gwyneth Paltrow called up NASA and asked if they could get to work on creating a zero-gravity vaginal steaming booth for her. Rather, this is about NASA calling out the dubious claims of something dumb and expensive that was shilled on Goop.com.

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Johnny Depp Joked About Assassinating The President

June 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Johnny Depp has made it no secret that he likes Donald Trump about as much as personal grooming and selling his fancy rich people things. Johnny made fun of Trump in a 50-minute parody of The Art Of The Deal for Funny or Die last year, and again on Ellen. He came for Trump again last night, and this time, it may have caused the Secret Service to open up a file on him (if they haven’t already).

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Joey Barge, the man who put on a business casual dress to fight the oppressive dress code at his job!

Earlier this week in England, a heatwave made the people feel like they were trapped in a hot, wet fart bubble. Temperatures hit the low-90s. The low-90s is practically wintertime weather to those of us in the West of the U.S., but it’s nipple-singeing weather over there. So 20-year-old Joey Barge from Aylesbury in Buckinghamshire felt like it was too damn hot to wear pants to work, so he put on business shorts, thinking that maybe his boss at his call center job would be okay with it since women can wear skirts to work. Fran Lebowitz must be Director of Dress Code at Joey’s workplace, because dude was sent home to change.

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Birthday Sluts

June 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Selma Blair (45)
Connor Jessup (23)
Anna Duggar (29)
Duffy (33)
Melissa Rauch (37)
Memphis Bleek (39)
Jason Mraz (40)
Aaron Ruell (41)
Emmanuelle Vaugier (41)
KT Tunstall (42)
Joel Edgerton (43)
DJ Perry (47)
Chico DeBarge (51)
Joss Whedon (53)
Frances McDormand (60)
Randy Jackson (61)
Glenn Danzig (62)
Bryan Brown (70)
June Carter Cash (1929-2003)
Bob Fosse (1927-1987)

Pic: Steven Meisel/Elle UK

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Night Crumbs

June 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Robert Downey Jr. tweeted a picture from the set of next Avengers movie, and apparently production has been stressful. I’m sure it’s been extra stressful for the production assistants because they have to memorize the names of the 6,000 actors in that shit. And I’ve never really noticed this before, but Benedict Cumberbatch as Doctor Strange sort of looks like a lizard in Duke from General Hospital drag – Lainey Gossip

Here’s Nina Agdal modeling an extremely practical motorcycle-riding outfit – Drunken Stepfather 

Duchess Kate’s brother’s dreams of being a marshmallow mogul are deflating – Celebitchy

That dude in the purple shirt behind Brandi Glanville must be LeAnn Rimes in disguise while continuing to stalk her rival – Reality Tea 

Sofia Coppola wanted to shoot Universal’s The Little Mermaid underwater, but well, a little thing called, “actors drowning to death while trying to talk and hold their breath at the same time,” probably would’ve messed with production – Pajiba

A couple got engaged in front of Kelly Clarkson, which is sweet and everything, but they didn’t invite her to their wedding. What is the point of getting engaged in front of a millionaire pop star if you’re not going to invite her to your wedding so that she can bring a really expensive gift?! – Towleroad

It’s nice to see that a bootleg Jim Morrison wig and a bootleg Joan Jett wig got some work – Hollywood Tuna

If someone stole the drapes in your grandma’s English countryside cottage, call the bobbies and report Emma Watson, because she obviously took them – Popoholic

Waco, TX will officially change their name to Gainesville (or Shiplapville) in 3…2… – Jezebel

Teri Garr said the late Gene Wilder was a jerk and I’m not sure if she was serious – Boy Culture

Ariel Winter is truly offended by Star Magazine saying that her boyfriend is a kept trick – The Superficial

Panty Creamer of the Day: the stripper from Rough NightPopsugar

Extra Panty Creamer of the Day: Brant Daugherty working his beard, nipples and torso veins – Just Jared

Pic: @RobertDowneyJr

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No, This Is Not A Headline From The Onion

June 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Bill Cosby Schools You On Rape Allegations” is something you’d expect to see on a Learning Annex sign outside of a Holiday Inn conference room in the Ninth Circle of HELL. But apparently, that’s something you may see on a sign outside of a theater near you. This is like Ole’ Sleazy Puddin’ Pop’s rendition of O.J. Simpson’s If I Did It. The devil is real.

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