The Celebrities At The “Brit Awards” Came To Party (Party City, That Is)

/ February 21, 2019

Advance apologies to our British readers, but I don’t know who any of your “celebrities” are unless they are Dames, Sirs, Katie Price or Idris Elba. I may have no idea who Rita Ora is, but ya’ll sure do know how to put the “F” in Fashion (if the F stands for “fuck is this?”). The Brit Awards, Britain’s equivalent to The Grammys, were last night and apparently, the theme for the red carpet was “Party at Party City“. There were enough pinatas, clown suits, vinyl tablecloths, crepe paper ruffles, and discounted Halloween costumes on display to stock every single party store in Britain for the next millennium. Above is noted (somewhere) fabric sculptor and designer Daniel Lismore, who’s ready to serve as the punch bowl at your next Luau/Red Wedding themed get-together.

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Beyoncé and Jay-Z Scooped Up A Brit Award And Gave A Nod To Duchess Meghan

/ February 21, 2019

I assumed the only thing Beyoncé and Jay-Z curtsied to was cold hard cash (and maybe whatever VH1 Behind The Music producer was able to give a catty “Where are they now?!” segment to Farrah Franklin), but at this year’s Brit Awards, they showed they have a soft spot in their hearts for Duchess Meghan, probably because they want her ass to be in one of those perfume ad-esque videos they play at an upcoming On The Run tour.

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Open Post: Hosted By A Naked Man Covered In Peanut Butter At A Texas Dog Park

/ February 21, 2019

The one thing I’ve learned in the last year is that dogs love peanut butter. If you put it on a spoon and give it to them they will be your best friend for life, or at least until you give them another spoonful. However, a man in Texas loves dogs so much he said “Fuck the spoon!” and covered his entire naked body (except for a skimpy gold speedo around his Snausages area) in delicious peanut butter then gave the bitches a treat by strutting around inside a public dog park. That sounds like the beginning of a highly illegal bestiality orgy porn or a highly illegal dog-eating-human snuff film.

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Chicago PD Held A Press Conference About Jussie Smollett’s Arrest

/ February 21, 2019

During his first public appearance after he claimed he was attacked by racist, homophobic, MAGA-loving thugs, Jussie Smollett took to the stage and declared himself “the Gay Tupac”. Well, according to this morning’s press conference held by Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson, it would have been more accurate to call himself the “black Keyser Söze” (the “gay Keyser Söze” was, of course, already taken by Kevin Spacey, and Jussie’s career is probably about to have similar trajectory).

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Kim Kardashian Is Suing A Fashion House For Using Her Image To Sell Knockoffs

/ February 21, 2019

After Kim Kardashian‘s Twitter tirade in regards to Fashion Nova recreating that church appropriate Thierry Mugler dress she wore last weekend, I thought she would maybe disappear to deal with her family’s ongoing drama because that’s rehearsal time for the next season. However, in an attempt to bask in all of the attention while the spotlight is on her, Kim is now suing a different knock-off house because she’s tired of them using her image to sell their discounted duds.

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Wendy Williams Is Finally Coming Back After Two Months Away From Her Show

/ February 21, 2019

Wendy Williams has been away from her show The Wendy Williams Show for basically two months now. But the messiness went on with a whole bunch of other hosts, including Nick Cannon. Welp, looks like Wendy really was nervous that all this time away was going to lead to her losing her show, because Page Six says that a date has been set for her triumphant return to tea spilling.

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