Even though Prince George graced Princess Eugenie with his presence at her wedding because he knew he needed to do something to drum up ratings since even the BBC wasn’t wanting to air it. The future King of England is usually a ham when in public, which is refreshing since THE QUEEN isn’t exactly known for making weird noises and faces at anyone unless it’s when Donald Trump keeps her ass waiting around. Anyway, at today’s Eh Royal Wedding between Eugenie and her cousin (distant, but who cares! It’ll never get old!) Jack Brooksbank, George decided to go searching for some royal gold…up his nose.
The humans are rising back up on the Hot Slut of the Month scene!
Animals have taken up five of the HSOTM spots this year, and the humans only had three. But that’s changed thanks to Terry Lauerman, who is a beloved friend to the animal kingdom (specifically, pussies), and the angel who fell to earth to cuddle and nap with disabled shelter cats at Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Terry is eighty tons of charm in a t-shirt, and not only has he won over the pussies of Save Haven Pet Sanctuary, he also won over the readers of this mess of a site.
Terry got 55% of the votes in September’s HSOTM battle. Nobody came close to taking him down. The Bread Thief Raccoon of Toronto tried to snatch the victory away from Terry but only got 19% of the votes. The Ribbed Dick Building Of China tried too, but only ended up with 15%. And the Microsoft Windows Solitaire Deck from the 90s ended up in dead last with 11%.
The Eugene Bostick of catmanity will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next year. In the meantime, you can find him being the angelic meat in a pussy sandwich on any given day of the week.
Thanks to all who voted!
Keira Knightley dragged Duchess Kate and her perfect post-birth look in an essay titled “The Weaker Sex.” But according to Keira, she didn’t mean it and the whole thing has been taken out of context.
Holograms are best served on the back of elementary school trapper keepers and at CNN on election night – but nowhere else! Did “Whitney Houston”on The Voice teach us nothing?! Amy Winehouse may have passed away in 2011, but her father has tried to milk off her success ever since, which is why North Londoners have to face a statue that’s supposed to be Amy but really looks like Marge Simpson in a mini-dress on their way to work each day. Mitch Winehouse’s latest scheme is to embark “Amy” on a world tour by way of the same hologram technology used for late stars like Tupac and Roy Orbison. What could possibly go wrong?!
Open Post: Hosted By Duchess Kate And Prince William Getting Into Some PDA At Princess Eugenie’s Wedding
We know Prince William and Duchess Kate have three children, but I’m sure if The Queen had her way, it shall remain a mystery as to how those future heirs were made. Royal magic? Wishes? Stop asking, you pervert! Generally, PDA is a no-no when it comes to royal family protocol, but today William and Kate decided to let royal protocol take a backseat to their emotions, and they were caught holding hands in the pews during Princess Eugenie’s wedding ceremony. So kinky! Is that the first few bars of Beyoncé’s “Naughty Girl” playing?
Things are getting ugly for America’s folksiest group of the 70s Fleetwood Mac. Guitarist Lindsey Buckingham is suing the band for a whole bunch of things, claiming that they ousted him of the group for no reason. I don’t know you guys have been together a long ass time, are you sure you didn’t fart on the tour bus one too many times? Continue reading