Night Crumbs

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

TMZ asked Paul Sorvino for his thoughts on the reports that Harvey Weinstein tried to ruin Mira Sorvino’s career after he sexually harassed her, and he didn’t hold back any feelings (or maybe he did and this is his sugar-coated answer) by saying that he’d put Harvey on the floor and kill the motherfucker. HA! He didn’t play Lips Manlis for nothing. And why do I have a feeling that someone is going to start a petition to get the judge in every future Weinstein case to add “2 minutes in a locked room with Paul Sorvino” to the list of possible punishments? – Jezebel

Saying that Leonardo DiCaprio is just friends with a 20-year-old model is like me saying that I have a strictly platonic relationship with the Prince Hot Ginge body pillow case I had made – Lainey Gossip

I don’t know if it’s true that Meghan Markle asked her mom to walk her down the aisle instead of her dad, but I do know that her step-sister just farted out three streams of glee while thinking about how many paid interviews this rumor is going to bring – Celebitchy

Those hand-on-hip poses tell me that all of Teresa Giudice’s kin graduated from Barbizon. At least she did something right! – Reality Tea 

I see that Gus Kenworthy spent a piece of his holiday picking off icicles from his ass crack hairs – Towleroad

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Who Is December’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t know how I made it out of 2017 alive (SPOILER ALERT: I made it out alive thanks to weed, weed, the promise of seeing Prince Hot Ginge in a prince uniform on his wedding day, and more weed), but I know exactly how I got through December. I got through it by powering my life bars on the hotness wafting off of the gayest cake in the land, the drunk opossum, Robin Roberts throwing a dig at Omarosa and the investigative journalism brilliance of Rhoda Young!

It’s the final Hot Slut of the Month contest of 2017, which means we’re close to crowning the new reigning Queen of Dlisted (aka the Hot Slut of 2017). Like every damn month, the first three finalists fighting for the HSOTM title (“Um, how can we fight when none of us want it?” – all four HSOTM finalists) got the most Facebook likes and the last one was picked by me. Your choices are:

The sugary gay extravaganza that a baker in Canada whipped up for a couple who requested the gayest cake ever. For those of you haters throwing a, “that’s the gayest cake ever?” look, you try to find a cake mold of Liberace riding a unicorn.

The drunk opossum in Florida who did her state proud by breaking into a liquor store and getting plastered on booze she didn’t pay for.

Robin Roberts, the highly-esteemed journalist (and that was served without a milliounce of sarcasm) who brought Bye Felicia back from the dead and used it to drag Omarosa.

Rhoda Young, the citizen reporter in Virginia who did the jobs of Murphy Brown and Jessica Fletcher at the same time by reporting on and solving an arson case.

Because I really want to get to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals, this HSOTM contest is going to be quicker than the dorm room sex between Forrest Gump and Jenny. The winner will be announced on Friday.

Pic: Facebook, Facebook, ABC News, Facebook


Meryl Streep Pulled The “Pot Calling Kettle Black” Card On Melania And Ivanka Trump

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

If 2017 taught us anything, it’s that any person with a penis and a shred of power is a scuzzy scuzzy perv who likely did foul things to women and/or potted plants. When Harvey Weinstein’s mess blew up and into the open, everyone waved their pitchforks at Meryl Streep for dabbing herself with Ivanka Trump’s complicit perfume. Now that she has a movie to promote, she’s holding up a mirror to the Trump gals when called an enabler and says, “I know you are, but what am I?!Continue reading

Rob Kardashian Denies Getting Violent With Blac Chyna

January 3, 2018 / Posted by:

Last week, the Kardashians filed a motion to throw out the lawsuit in which Blac Chyna accuses Rob Kardashian of getting violent with her, and scheming with his family to kill her reality TV career. Chyna accused the Kardashians of attempting to silence a domestic abuse victim. Well, Rob got around to filing a response to Chyna’s lawsuit claims. I assumed it would have taken him longer to file, considering how jam-packed his schedule is, what with the naps and sock counting and…I don’t know, more naps?

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