E News! is reporting that there is another Trump coming our way and the devil family has spawned again. That’s strange… I didn’t notice the water turn to blood, birds falling from the skies, or darkness blotting out the sun… Maybe it was only in Manhattan? It seems that Eric Trump and his wife Lara Trump are expecting their second child.
For the first time in furstory, RuPaul needs to tell both Mufasa (James Earl Jones) and Scar (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to sashay away. The time came for them to lipsync for their lives, and they both fucked it up. In the first full-length trailer for Disney’s “live-action” remake of The Lion King, it’s impossible to tell what is a voiceover and what is supposed to be coming out of them critters’ mouths. Sorry, Disney. This is not an improvement. I honestly think they’ve made a grave mistake. None of this looks right to me. In the original, Simba smiled to express joy. You cannot have a realistic lion smile, it would be positively ghoulish. So they’ve all got weird, stiff mouths and they should have kept their veils on.
Jennifer Lopez is not here for your opinions on her engagement to or her relationship with Alex Rodriguez. Sure she puts that shit out on full display with couple endorsements and professionally photographed engagements, but mind your business! Yes, A-Rod has a history of being a down and dirty dawg, but he has changed! He is not the man he was before and JLo knows it! So the Jose Cansecos of the world can just eat it.
The 1978 classic movie musical Grease is getting a prequel, because leaving well enough alone is not something Hollywood is interested in fucking with anymore, and for the sake of $$$ they really think we want to know why Olivia Newton-John got so hard up for John Travolta that she changed herself to be with him and later ended up chained up to radiator at Gold Base after she tried to leave him because she didn’t want to be in Scientology anymore (I’m guessing that’s what happens in the follow-up to Grease).
I’m sad to report that it seems like there really are no more original ideas in Hollywood. Instead of telling you about a fresh new movie about some kind of fascinating story you’ve never heard of and are intrigued to learn the ending to (HA, like that’ll happen), I’m here to let you know that you can watch another goddamn Cinderella movie soon. And this one is starring Fifth Harmony‘s version of Ginger Spice–Camila Cabello.
Elisabeth Moss sat down with The Daily Beast to talk about all of the new projects she has coming out including a film called Her Smell in which she plays a member of an all-female punk band who is “a hair-trigger-tempered hellraiser whose drug-induced mood swings petrify those around her.” Sounds like something meninists will hate. Elisabeth–who is one of the famous Scientologists along with the likes of John Travolta and Kirstie Alley–isn’t really open about it the way others are. With all the Leah Remini exposés on Scientology, Elisabeth got asked about it. She didn’t walk out, surprisingly, but she dodged those questions like a professional. Neo, who? Elisabeth Moss is The One.