You can always be sure of three things at the Met Gala: some bitches are going to completely disregard the theme, Anna Wintour (pics of her below) will wince her way down the red carpet as though she’s running a list of what interns she’s going to sacrifice for inviting one too many a-Kardashian to her big night, and the Olsen twins will scowl their way down…as though photographers are shouting at them the names of all their straight-to-VHS movies from the 90s. Nobody disappointed last night!
Even though last night’s theme was “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and the Catholic Imagination,” Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen arrived looking like their invitation said the theme was “Coachella Hair and Solstice Party Muumuus.” People says Mary-Kate rocked the all-black get-up, which I guess is a nod to a nun’s habit? Ashley’s multicolored fashion is a nod to the divorcee seeking forgiveness from the nun? Or maybe she just got her events confused and was hoping the Sorting Hat would take one look at her and let her join Harry, Hermione, and Ron in Gryffindor?
The pair of Rachel Zoe horcruxes rocked Stephen Webster jewelry, and Vogue notes the boho lewk is actually vintage Paco Rabanne. The twins typically stay out of the limelight, and the Met Gala is usually the one night out of the year they go out in public and try to teach Posh Spice how a veteran is really supposed to serve pained expression to the paparazzi. ‘Til next year’s theme, which is…aw, who cares. The Olsen invitation will still read “Coachella Hair and Solstice Party Muumuus.”
Before Harvey Weinstein was officially outed as the closest DNA relative to a bridge troll, it seemed as though every red carpet had at least one star in a Marchesa dress. Marchesa is co-owned by Harvey’s now-estranged wife Georgina Chapman. Then the stories about Harvey went public, and A-list actresses were running away from Marchesa as if it was a deep-fried gluten sandwich. Nobody wanted to wear Marchesa anymore. Well, nobody until Scarlett Johansson, who did just that at the Met Gala.
At This Performance Of Omaha Community Theater’s Production Of “Perestroika,” The Role Of The Angel Will Be Played By…
Pro tip: If you’re going to a party dressed like an intergalactic go-go dancing angel complete with ten hundred foot wide wings and you have to travel in a convertible since your ass can’t fit in a regular car, make sure that convertible is working right. Or else your big grand dramatic entrance will turn into a scene from the saddest parade ever:
Taylor Swift wasn’t at the Met Gala last night, but I’m sure that earlier in the night, she was in front of Katy’s hotel taking some pliers to that car’s wires as Olivia Benson and Meredith Grey played lookout.
Kirsten Dunst and her fiance Jesse Plemons have welcomed a healthy baby boy! Kiki and Jesse have been keeping things pretty low key, with Kiki with only confirming her pregnancy three months ago. So this is all we really know: A baby was inside of Kiki’s tummy and now it lives in their house and presumably poops and screams a lot. A source says “Everyone is doing great”.
When I saw that both Nicki Minaj and Cardi B were attending the Met Gala last night, I instantly became thankful that the theme was think of the Met Gala’s theme was religion. Because Nicki and Cardi in the same room brings up images of an old priest and a young priest shooting at them with a spray bottle of holy water as they clawed at each other. Nicki let it be known last month that she thought Cardi Bi had done her dirty during the promotion for the song “MotorSport” by implying she was jealous and bitter. Nicki also thought she was owed a little more respect from Cardi. But whatever hatchet they shared was clearly buried outside the Met Gala, because last night they were caught playing nice inside.
There weren’t a lot of thruples on the red carpet at the Met Gala last night. But that’s ok, you only need one when that one thrupple is as extra as Jared Leto, Lana Del Rey and Alessandro Michele, the creative director at Gucci. I feel like there’s a long hair in my mouth, Yuck. I actually feel like I have hairs all over me now. Shit!