Birthday Sluts

/ June 7, 2019
Dave Navarro (52)
Swae Lee (24)
Fetty Wap (28)
Emily Ratajkowski (28)
Iggy Azalea (29)
Amy Childs (29)
Michael Cera (31)
Anna Kournikova (38)
Anna Torv (40)
Mini Anden (41)
Bill Hader (41)
Cassidy Rae (43)
Bear Grylls (45)
Karl Urban (47)< strong>Pic: Twitter
Kim Rhodes (50)
Mick Foley (54)
Damien Hirst (54)
Kym Whitley (58)
Mike Pence (60)
L.A. Reid (63)
Colleen Camp (66)
Liam Neeson (67)
Jenny Jones (73)
Ken Osmond (76)
Sir Tom Jones (79)
Prince (1958-2016)
Dean Martin (1917-1995)
Jessica Tandy (1909-1994)
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Night Crumbs

/ June 6, 2019

Madonna spit at her New York Times profile (the one where she once again said that her songs from Rebel Heart leaking felt like rape) because she thinks it was superficial and focused too much on her age. Reading it made Madonna feel like she was raped, and wants you all to know she can say that since she was assaulted for real. Never mind that the New York Times article I read must’ve been a different one since it was pretty positive, Madge just keeps throwing that rape word around so much that I’m guessing her assistant hears shit like this daily: “I asked for one tablespoon of organic chia seeds in my turmeric and fennel hot tea spritzer and you clearly put one and a half. I feel raped!” – Celebitchy

Us Weekly’s new issue is all about Brad Pitt’s new post-Angie life, and by the looks of the cover it seems his post-Angie life involves moisturizing his face with a heavy dollop of Photoshop every morning – Lainey Gossip

Bill and Ted’s grown daughters have been cast for the newest movie, and this is scientifically impossible since Bill and Ted are forever youngins’ who are incapable of making baby-creating jizz. This is just a fact! – Pajiba

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Barbra Streisand’s Little Clones Paid Tribute To Their “Mother”

/ June 6, 2019

All the stores in Barbra Streisand underground mall are closed and the needlepoint “Bless This Mess” banner, I’m sure she has in her living room, has been lowered to half mast in loving memory of Sammie, Babs’ beloved Coton de Tulear. Sammie walked this earth from May 2003 – May 2017. And then again, and again. Shortly after Sammie’s death, Barbra introduced the world to Scarlet (aka Sammie 2) and Violet (Sammie 3), the clones she had made from her DNA. Yesterday, Barbra posted a picture on Instagram of the new Sammies and their “cousin” Fanny (Fanny came from the same breeder as Sammie, but does not share her DNA) propped up on Original Recipe Sammie’s grave looking like a fresh crop of mushrooms after a particularly damp spring.

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Entertainment Weekly Will Be Weekly No More

/ June 6, 2019

Well, it had a good run. Entertainment Weekly, or as I call it, the On The Toilet Magazine, is changing its format and will now only be printed monthly. According to The Hollywood Reporter, starting in August, I’m going to have to start reading my phone when I take a shit like everybody else. The July 5th issue will be the last weekly offering. The change comes “as part of a larger ‘reimagining’ of the brand”. A monthly magazine, who could ever have imagined that!?

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Maura Pfefferman Is Officially Dead In The Trailer For The “Transparent” Finale

/ June 6, 2019

While it looks like Judith Light is alive, alive with the sound of music! Even in that truly hideous bra situation. Just give her the Emmy now.

When we last left the cast of Transparent, Jeffrey Tambor was dropped after several transwomen on set claimed he had acted like a creep towards them. Jeffrey himself claimed he never acted gross, and that the only thing he was guilty of was being a straight cis man playing a transwoman. Oh, and also that he might have been a jerk (not new news for Jessica Walter). Still, Transparent didn’t want anything to do with him, and he wasn’t brought back for the fifth and final season. Amazon just dropped the trailer for the finale, and they cut right to the chase about what happened to Moppa Maura Pfefferman.

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