Birthday Sluts

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Traci Lords (49)
Alexander Ludwig (25)
Brandon Jones (29)
Natalie Mejia (29)
Scheana Marie (32)
Aliyah O’Brien (36)
Frenchie Davis (38)
Breckin Meyer (43)
Eagle-Eye Cherry (48)
Michael E. Knight (58)
Ned Bellamy (60)
Peter Reckell (62)
Amy Heckerling (63)
Thelma Houston (71)
Robin Strasser (72)
Terry Allen (74)

Pic: Universal Pictures


Open Post: Hosted By Diane Keaton Kissing Everyone On “Graham Norton”

May 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Diane Keaton, 71, is at that old lady-pleasant sort of “Fucks? What are those?” stage of life. She’ll wear three Johnny Depp’s-worth of accessories with an outfit and she’s loving it. Then again, she’s been at that stage since Annie Hall, right?

Diane appeared on Graham Norton’s funfest and spoke on how much she enjoys making out with her co-stars in movies. She sees it as the perfect relationship. “You don’t have to pay the price,” she says. She must have dated some winners.

Things got a little more whimsical when she offered to make out with the audience and then began kissing everyone on stage. She kissed Graham. She kissed Kevin Bacon (they sort of really went for it and wow, get some, Di!). And then she kissed Hollywood cipher (where is she from, who does she date, why is she in every movie now) Jessica Chastain. That was a friendly little peck, but she did compare her to a daughter and kept telling her she needed to behave, which was slightly creepy.

You be the judge.

Pic: YouTube


David Lynch Is Done With Making Movies

May 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Director/writer/artist/composer/doughnut philosopher, David Lynch, is bringing his acclaimed early ’90s series Twin Peaks back to Showtime. It’s been mighty mysterious so far, with very little revealed as to the plot, and that’s exactly how the father of Eraserhead wants it. He feels that movie marketing nowadays ruins everything and he’s through with making movies because of it. Continue reading


Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Might Get Back Together

May 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Pink cloud dreamer Mariah Carey and her ex-husband, “dolorous” clown Nick Cannon, have been spending a ton of time together lately. They claim they’re just co-parenting the right way. “The right way” meaning, getting along for the sake of your kids and not dropping them off at the foot of the driveway due to the restraining order and wearing homemade “You’re A Terrible Parent” t-shirts.

But People feels differently. They’ve got a source who gave them information in the manner known as “exclusively,” so it must be true. Continue reading


Chris Brown Was Finally Served

May 6, 2017 / Posted by:

And no, I don’t mean at one of the 53,000 restaurants he’s probably been banned from for acting like Chris Brown (translation – acting like a messy douche). Chris was finally served with the restraining order that his on-again-off-again-currently-way-off-again girlfriend Coochie Train (translation – Karrueche Tran) filed against him. If Chris is good at anything besides beating up women and being a dangerous and violent asshole, it’s avoiding process servers. But one particularly industrious one caught up with him in Houston, TX. And on his birthday, no less.

Continue reading

Loretta Lynn Had A Stroke

May 6, 2017 / Posted by:

In sad news, country music legend Loretta Lynn, 85, suffered a stroke on Thursday and has been hospitalized. CNN reports that Loretta was at her home in Hurricane Mills, Tennessee when it happened.

Her website released a statement saying that she’s “responsive” and expected to make a full recovery. Awesome. We need Loretta to stick around. The only endurable country music comes from old-school gals like her. And “endurable” is stretching it. I’d rather listen to Norwegian death metal than country, and those bands literally burn down churches and murder each other. Continue reading


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