Halloween (or Slut-O-Ween for you hot sluts and Hallo-qween for you hot gay sluts) has come and gone and it’s time to put your slutty garbage collector and whorish driver’s ed instructor costumes to rest until next October. But there’s one last fright to foist on you as you roll your eyes at all the Christmas decorations that ARE ALREADY UP IN STORES. It’s this squirrel in a Ghostface mask from Scream! BoingBoing brings us this squirrel feeder that some maniac made to allow your bushy-tailed neighbor to become a crazed serial killer right outside your window.
The most terrifying part of this post isn’t that squirrel making like he’s about to chase Neve Campbell all over Woodsboro. It’s the fact that there’s an legit Instagram hashtag called “#squirrelsofinstagram” that has over 335,000 posts! That’s what I’m being for Hallo-qween next year. The 335,000 #squirrelsofinstagram posts! That outfit will cause everyone to piss their trampy costumes out of terror!
The Trump administration is no stranger to appropriating pop culture for their own means before being asked to cut the shit. Very recently, both Pharrell Williams and the ghost of Prince told Trump and his shady crew to stop using their music at his signature stir-em’-up-with-self-delusion rallies. This week, some tool on Trump’s social media team thought it would be laffy to steal from Game of Thrones to preview the reinstating of sanctions against Iran. Because if there’s a time for dopey memes, it’s when you’re negotiating extremely sensitive diplomacy around nuclear fucking weapons. Anyway, HBO followed Pharrell and spectral Prince by telling Trump to stop using their Game of Thrones concepts, their font, and any excitement over their final season.
Grab your nearest box of tissues (or extra long sleeves should you be out of tissues), because the snot-crying is inevitably set to start up again. It’s been announced that the Color Purple movie musical adaptation is a sure thing. No, not the musical biopic of Prince‘s life post Purple Rain. The OTHER purple masterpiece that was a Tony award winning musical based on an Oscar nominated movie based on the Pulitzer Prize winning book. Are you still following? The Color Purple is now being turned into a movie based on the musical based on the movie based on the book. Oh, Hollywood- you really know how to milk a good thing when you see it!
Because marital bliss isn’t achieved until you introduce a screaming-for-attention, “social media mogul” into your bedroom on a permanent basis. Ariana Grande’s brother Frankie Grande was at Bette Midler’s charity “Hulaween” event in NYC this past Sunday (was he catering?) with two other dudes also done up like space twinks. UsWeekly asked him about his dates and he revealed that he is currently in a “throuple” with them. Meanwhile, Bette Midler looked over and wondered why the woman from UsWeekly was talking to the help?
After winning a Jell-o Wrasslin’ contest over Lance Bass for the Brady Bunch house, HGTV announced plans to turn it into the brown and orange toned shag carpet day dream of 1970s delights. The house in Studio City, CA used for the exterior shots of The Brady Bunch will be gutted and the inside turned into an exact replica of the interior set. Well, Marcia (AKA “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!”), Jan, Cindy, Greg, Peter and Bobby were all on hand to (collect a quick check) and help usher in the re-dawning of this most fabulous decade as re-imagined through reality renovation television.
And all I can think of is poor, sexy Joshua Jackson probably sitting in the stands of an abandoned hockey rink in Canada somewhere, swilling a Labatt Blue in just a jockstrap, and wondering why the hell his hot blonde German ex just had a baby with greasy crossbow guy from the zombie show. Pacey – I’m available to you for consoling. Diane Kruger, 42, has given birth to her first baby with Norman Reedus, 49, according to UsWeekly and People. There are no pics yet, so it’s unknown whether or not Diane gave birth to the squintiest baby in history.