I just pictured Howard Cunningham and Arnold Takahashi pulling out a stool for Big Al while an angel dressed as The Fonz invited him to “sit on it” in the great big diner in the sky. And since that image is making this whole situation a little less sad, I’m choosing to believe that’s what happened.
Last night, the son of Al Molinaro, aka Al Delvecchio from Happy Days, confirmed that his father had passed away at the age of 96 in a California hospital. Al was apparently very sick with gall stones, but decided to say “Nope nope nope nope” to surgery because of his age. He leaves behind his wife, Betty, his son, and three grandchildren.
Aside from Happy Days, which he appeared in 146 episodes as the owner of Arnold’s Diner (aka the teenage hangout where Fonzie’s toilet office was located), Al Molinaro was also in episodes of Get Smart, The Odd Couple, Fantasy Island, Joanie Loves Chachi, Punky Brewster, and Step By Step. I was a bit too young for the heyday of Happy Days, so my first real introduction to Al Molinaro was his appearance as Al Delvecchio in the Happy Days-themed music video for Weezer’s “Buddy Holly.” For some reason, that video came pre-loaded onto the first computer we ever had in my house growing up, and I must have watched it 10,375 times. There’s really no wrong time to watch the video for “Buddy Holly“, but today seems especially appropriate to play it on repeat.
I really hope that the first thing Al did when he got to Heaven was to make a “Try the fish” joke with Jesus. Rest in peace, Big Al.
Last night, George Clooney and his tequila tasting partner Rande Gerber threw a pre-Halloween party sponsored by their tequila company, Casamigos, and – shock of all shocks, a bunch of Georgie’s famous friends showed up. Even though the Casamigos party was held on the day before Halloween, everyone still dressed up, because why wouldn’t you? When you’re rich as shit, you can afford to have your assistant stand in line outside of the Hell on Earth that is Party City 3 days before Halloween. Still, there’s always that one person who cannot muster a single fuck and shows up in regular clothes, and that person was Salma Hayek. Stars, they’re just like us!
There is literally nothing Halloween-y about Salma Hayek. It’s like she forgot about that shit, and decided to swing by on her way home from Barneys. Salma is giving me “pity pop-in“, and I love it. She probably told her rich-ass husband, François-Henri Pinault, that they were going to make an appearance at a party hosted by “some guy she worked with on From Dusk till Dawn” and assured him that it would “only take a second.”
Or maybe that is her costume: second wife of a French billionaire is a costume, right? But really, why bother putting in any effort when Jessica Alba is going to show up and shut everyone else down with her on-point Romy White costume.
That wig! You know someone is 100% into a costume when they spring for the good wig. For those of you screaming “BUT WHERE’S MICHELE???“, Jessica got a friend to dress up as Michele. I know, Cash Warren really dropped the ball on that one.
Here’s more famous types from George and Rande’s Casamigos party last night. Not pictured: George and Amal Clooney. I guess they decided to shock everyone and go as a couple who didn’t want to pose for the paps.
“Ha! Consider it payback for making me sit through your weird-ass wedding ceremony“…is what I imagine Leah Remini is thinking to herself in the picture above.
So, Stacey Carosi’s Scientology tea-spill happened last night on 20/20. I know, raise your hand if you too thought that David Miscavige would try to prevent it from airing by summoning the evil spirit of L. Ron Hubbard (aka holding three rotting teeth while playing an audio copy of Dianetics backwards), who would then haul ghost ass to the control room at ABC and replace Leah’s 20/20 interview with a John Travolta-heavy episode of Welcome Back, Kotter. Just me? Okay.
No Halloween is complete until you’ve drunkenly danced by yourself to Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me” as your costume falls apart during closing time at the club. (Or if you’re me, no Halloween is complete until you’ve drunkenly danced by yourself to Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me” while surrounded by piles of candy wrappers in the middle of your living room.)
Rockwell (born name: Kennedy William Gordy) is the son of Berry Gordy and Berry Gordy’s former side piece Margaret Norton, and in 1984 he gifted the world with the Halloween classic “Somebody’s Watching Me.” My favorite part of Rockwell’s Wikipedia bio is the part that says he signed up with Motown (aka his daddy’s label) but did it without his dad finding out because he didn’t want people to scream NEPOTISM! I always knew that Tori Spelling must’ve stolen that trick from someone.
Rockwell, who always gave me “slightly more butch El DeBarge” vibes, put out a few albums and singles in the 80s, but he will be forever remembered for creating the NSA’s theme song. Rockwell wrote the song himself and got his childhood friends Michael Jackson and Jermaine Jackson to sing the chorus and back-up. For the longest time, I thought Thomas Dolby sang “Somebody’s Watching Me” and didn’t know it wasn’t Thomas Dolby until I watched the video. (Side note: You know you’re old when you can name the guy who sang “She Blinded Me With Science” without Googling.)
Behold, American Horror Story: Rockwell’s House.
I wasn’t planning on dressing up tonight, but now I know that if I need a quick and comfortable costume, I can just put on a toga diaper, suck in for my life and get stoned to the point where I can’t move. I can tell everyone I’m dressed as the malnourished zombie from the “Somebody’s Watching Me” video.
Happy HalloQueen, everyone!
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Basement Baby DJ’d an H&M party in Sydney and I know you want to talk about that in depth, but I think we really need to talk about how she’s transformed into a vampire Jody Watley – Lainey Gossip
Right after Benedict Cumberbatch said, “Fuck the politicians,” the Cumberbitches misunderstood what he meant and decided to run for public office – Celebitchy
And here’s a long version of the scene in RiRi’s Bitch Better Have My Money video where she tortures Hannibal – Drunken Stepfather
Lamar Odom is out of the ICU and may not need a kidney transplant after all – Reality Tea
I’ve never really thought much about Dianna Agron, but now I know that she’s definitely one to watch, because she somehow managed to get cast in a movie with the greatest actress of our time Spaz de la Huerta. And oh yeah, they get naked and touch mouths – WWTDD
I want to party with a stoned Harrison Ford in a hot dog costume – The Superficial
A man who was stuck in a tree during a flood gave a TV interview and he was pretty damn calm considering that he was stuck in a tree during a flood – Towleroad
FYI: There’s no shit in Will Forte’s overgrown face bush – SOW
In Ariana Grande Latte’s new video, she dances in a box. The only box that mess should be in is a jail cell for the crimes she committed against donuts! – IDLYITW
Kate Bosworth looks like she’s wearing a bunch of wallpaper scraps – Popoholic
Chloe Grace Moretz’s outfit is very hooker Jem – Hollywood Tuna
The owners of the house from The Conjuring are being haunted by ghosthunters and fans – OMG Blog
Roman Polanski isn’t going to be extradited to the US anytime soon… – HuffPo
Ellen DeGeneres dressed like a long-lost Kartrashian for Halloween and it’s just…no – Popsugar
Chrissy Teigen is not here for Twitter hos telling her what her pregnant ass shouldn’t eat – Pajiba
Monday, November 2nd, will be every Brangeloonie’s holy day – Just Jared
In news that would’ve made fuck parts explode in 1984, Boy George blurted out that he once sexed on Prince and he said it during a taping of The Voice UK. Jehovah’s Most Litigious Witness was the Queen of Suing Bitches long before Taylor Swift and her army of lawyers came along, so I’m sure that one millisecond after those words came out of Boy George’s mouth, a lawsuit from Prince landed on his head.
Boy George is a judge on The Voice UK this season along with Paloma Faith, Ricky Wilson and will.i.cant. The Sun says that during a taping of the blind auditions, the judges all wanted one particular contestant and tried to woo them by bragging about who they’ve collaborated with. That’s when Boy George let it slip that his naked body has been touched by the sparkling dick of a purple nymph. This is how it went down:
Boy George: “I have duetted with some of the greatest soul singers in history including Luther Vandross and Smokey Robinson.”
Paloma Faith: “Well OK, if we’re throwing big soul names out there I’ve performed with Prince.”
Boy George: “Forget that, darling, I’ve slept with Prince.”
The audience laughed while probably thinking to themselves, “All that stuff about Prince supposedly hating gays makes sense now!” Right after Boy George said it, the producers hit the “MAN DOWN CODE 10” button and stopped filming. They pulled Boy George aside and they all had a little talk. Boy George went back to his red chair and said it was all a joke and he meant that he had posters of Prince on his bedroom wall when he was a kid. Boy George’s rep also spit up a comment about it:
“He just went, ‘Oh darling, I’ve slept with him.’ He went on to say that he had Prince posters on his wall as a kid. He was never being serious.”
When I first read this story, I wondered who’s the top and who’s the bottom? I answered that question myself when my brain burped up the image of Boy George on all fours and a shrieking Prince boning his butt while kneeling on a step stool. And yes in my image, Prince is wearing heels.
Here’s Boy George with Marilyn at the Attitude Awards in London a couple of weeks ago.
Presenting, BatSlut, the superhero who defeats her haters by busting out some graceful poses. She’ll hit you with thirty tons of elegance and make you hit the floor by filling your nostrils with a lacy fart. I bet this is still better than Ben Affleck’s Batman and that was served without one drop of sarcasm. And hmmm, where have I seen that pose before?
Life & Style threw a Halloween party in L.A. last night, and obviously it brought out the shiniest and biggest stars in the A-list universe. “Did I stumble into the Oscars without knowing it?” is what one party ho was heard saying after they laid eyes on Natalie Nunn from the Bad Girls Club (seen above as BatBitch) and two ex-Real Housewives. Life & Style’s Halloween party wasn’t just a gathering of the finest jewels in Hollywood, it was also where Backdoor Farrah debuted her third pair of silicone titty sacks. I find it hard to believe that Backdoor Farrah just got a boob job recently, because it looks like she finally said “fuck it” and told her plastic surgeon to replace any natural parts on her body with man-made materials. Backdoor Farrah’s blow-up doll looks more natural and alive than she does.
And here’s more pictures of the party where LeAnn Rimes was the biggest “star” there.
When Oprah was on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert a couple of weeks ago, a dude “ambushed” her and told her he was her son while she was signing autographs outside of the theater. (The Daily Mail has pictures of that if you want to see it.) Oprah probably hears that a lot. I mean, if I ever see her in public, I’m going to run up to her while screaming, “Auntie O, it’s my birthday,” hoping that she’d hug me before giving me a stack of money as a present. But the guy who ambushed her is someone she knows and tried to help decades ago.
Rapper and Vh1 reality show wreck The Game celebrated Eggplant Friday early yesterday by dropping his huge visible dick print on Instagram. Once you see the picture, you’ll probably think to yourself that The Game really should’ve taken a tip from that gorgeous JcPenney decorative towel set in the background by putting a tassel on it. His dick print really would’ve popped if it had a tassel on it.
The Game doesn’t only let you know that your down parts will look like eggplant parmesan once his huge eggplant of a peen gets through with it, but he also whispered a long string of hashtags into the eyes of his followers. The Game’s hashtags are bigger than his dick. The full picture is after the cut. WARNING: As soon as you click over, you will be hit with a whole lot of dick, modesty, hashtag poetry and romance. #ICantBelieveHashtagSexIsAThingNow.