Fan Bingbing Is Back And Will Still Star In The All-Female Action Film “355”

/ April 11, 2019

Fan Bingbing is back back. The formerly-most famous Chinese actress is finally returning after all of her financial and legal issues. Fan got in trouble for a legitimate amount of tax evasion in China and ended up spending some time at a “resort” of sorts–if you consider Guantanamo Bay a resort. Well now that she’s out of the clink, she needs a new gig to help get money back in her no-longer-fraudulent bank account, and she’s got a pal in Jessica Chastain who is graciously allowing this felon to still be in her all-female action movie, 355.

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Milla Jovovich’s Entire Family Sleeps In The Same Bed

/ April 11, 2019

Milla Jovovich is co-sleeping with her 11 year old, her 4 year old and her husband in a giant-ass bed (actually two giant ass beds pushed together) and I am….confused. As someone whose kids occasionally share a bed  (like if we’re at a hotel or one of them is sick) and it’s my living NIGHTMARE. My kids kick and twitch more then a meth-outed Justin Bieber hugging his fans. Plus they don’t know who any of the Housewives are and I don’t have time to explain why Bethany Frankel is yelling again.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ April 11, 2019

The criminal Roomba!

I have a Roomba (“Oooooh, you rich.” – my aunt after finding out that I have a Roomba) and it is a havoc-making drunk mess. It stumbles all over the place in a nonsensical route, it regularly bumps into my dog’s water bowl, causing water to drip everywhere, and then it drags the water all over the place causing an even bigger, dirtier mess. Once it’s done trying to dehydrate my dog to death while nasty-ing up my floors some more, it moves on to the electrical cords and pulls them out of their sockets. Bitch is a menace and a wreck (even more of a wreck than I am), but I still keep it around because it picks up the one thing of dust that I can easily pick up with a broom and dust plan before saying to people, “Oh yes, my Roomba saves me so much time!” But one Roomba really caused a scene and the scene was so big that the cops were called!

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Birthday Sluts

/ April 11, 2019
Louise Lasser (80)
Plastique Tiara (22)
Dakota Blue Richards (25)
Chloe Bennet (27)
Lights (32)
Joss Stone (32)
Stephanie Pratt (33)
Kelli Garner (35)
Bryan Tanaka (36)
Ben Gibbard (43)
David Banner (45)

Pic: Getty

Tricia Helfer (45)
Zöe Lucker (45)
Jennifer Esposito (46)
Johnny Messner (49)
Lisa Stansfield (53)
Vincent Gallo (58)
Jeremy Clarkson (59)
Bill Irwin (69)
Carl Franklin (70)
Joel Grey (87)
Ethel Kennedy (91)
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Night Crumbs

/ April 10, 2019

Ryan Murphy announced that the ninth season of American Horror Story will be called 1984. Ryan is going to get a gold lasso whipping from Wonder Woman for copying her ass with that title. I’m okay with this as long as Ryan gives the starring role to one of the best horror movie actresses in history, former HSOTD Jodi Draigie from The House on Sorority Row! Yes, Sorority Row is from 1983, but who cares about stupid technicalities when we’re talking about the return of Jodi Draigie!  – Just Jared

And while we’re at it, Jodi Draigie should really be invited to the Met Gala too! No one cares about Lady Gaga and Harry Styles! – Lainey Gossip

Sorry, Emma Roberts, but Jodi Draigie would look hotter in this – Popoholic

If Jodi Draigie was on Jeopardy!, she’d obviously beat the new single-day record by winning $110,915 – Pajiba

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Kim Kardashian Wants To Be A Lawyer And Is Going To Take The Baby Bar

/ April 10, 2019

Yes, Anna Wintour is continuing to slowly hammer away at the very long final nail in American Vogue’s coffin by putting another Kartrashain on the cover, but I do have to give a slow clap to that demonic demon for paying tribute to Kim Kardashian’s early fame whore days by making it look like Ray J is pissing all over her. Well played, Anna!

Beyond the golden showers cover, Vogue’s Jonathan Van Meter talks to Kim at her house, which sounds as vapid and empty as her, a Mexican restaurant, and the Koven’s headquarters (a bunch of Calabasas condos that have been converted to their offices). Most of the interview is about her re-branding from soulless, superficial mannequin with a hot air balloon ass to a soulless, superficial mannequin with a hot air balloon ass who really, really cares about prison reform.

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