The cover of Vogue’s March issue features “Fashion’s Fearless Females.” That’s their words. Most notable among the skinny Vogue regulars, like the Bitches of the Moment Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid, is Cheryl Tiegs’ favorite model, Ashley Graham. Ashley has appeared on the cover of British Vogue, but this is her first time on the cover of American Vogue.
Anna Wintour probably thought she was going to be greeted with a wall of applause for putting a non-skinny like Ashley on the cover with the rest of the low-BMI club. Except that her nomination for 2017’s biggest humanitarian award was replaced with people accusing Vogue of trying to make Ashley look skinnier. After people screamed and made the sign of the cross at Gigi’s extra long demon alien hand, they wondered why all the other models got to pose with their arms bent like 1980s Barbies while Ashley had to rest hers on her leg. Ashley Graham has an explanation about that arm situation.
Yesterday was the 10th anniversary of the day that Anna Nicole Smith died at the age of 39 and truly broke the internet. Seriously, gather around children, I was there and Anna Nicole Smith’s death broke the internet in a real way. There were error 500 messages abound.
To honor the Trimspa angel and reality show pioneer, today’s HSOTD is her fluffy sidekick and beloved pooch Sugar Pie Smith. This is a rare posthumous HSOTD. Sugar Pie died last year and is now barking it up in heaven, where Anna Nicole is probably telling her to shut the fuck up. Larry Birkhead also tweeted about Sugar Pie’s death last week. One of my last (really eloquent and articulate) posts about Sugar Pie was from 2007 and it was titled, “BREAKING! CNN RAN OVER SUGARPIE!!!!” So Sugar Pie deserves better, honestly.
Carole King (75)
Avan Jogia (25)
Camille Winbush (27)
Michael B. Jordan (30)
Rose Leslie (30)
David Gallagher (32)
Tom Hiddleston (36)
Zhang Ziyi (38)
A.J. Buckley (39)
Charlie Day (41)
Amber Valletta (43)
Colin Egglesfield (44)
Travis Tritt (54)
Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes to Hollywood (57)
Jim J. Bullock (62)
Charles Shaughnessy (62)
Ciaran Hinds (64)
Judith Light (68)
Mia Farrow (72)
Alice Walker (73)
Joe Pesci (74)
Carmen Miranda (1909-1955)
Olivia Wilde got her colorist to give her the Evan Rachel Wood special, and she’s obviously feeling her look and the camera, because she has no idea that Kate Mara is trying to eat her titty – Lainey Gossip
Like many people do, Gisele Bundchen wants Tom Brady to retire – Celebitchy
And here’s a topless Charlotte McKinney making sweet love to a car – Drunken Stepfather
Prostitution Whore-ah will be back on Real Housewives of New Jersey – Reality Tea
And you thought you looked a mess when you go to the airport? Look at this undone, messy, too-casual SLOB! – The Nip Slip
Lucifer’s asshole must be frozen and pigs must’ve sprouted wings, because I just found out that Donald Trump and I have something in common: we’re both waiting for EASY D! – Towleroad
Pimp Mama Kris needs to hire a new team of script writers…. – The Superficial
In case you were wondering, the paparazzi are still taking pictures of Ashley Greene – Popoholic
Nina Agdal’s brows are looking a little Jack Nicholson-ey – Hollywood Tuna
Ariana Grande Latte’s grandma is me at an Ariana Grande Latte concert – OMG Blog
Madge posted a picture of the newest additions to her growing child army – Boy Culture
If a cockroach could eat the memory of 2016 from my brain, I wouldn’t be too horrified by it – Pajiba
Orange is the New Black has a really, really short teaser trailer for the new season – Popsugar
Justin Timberlake will do anything to get that Oscar, even fuck a bush – SOW
Aaron Taylor-Johnson won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor In A Motion Picture for Nocturnal Animals. So, some thought that he had a chance at an Oscar nomination. ATJ didn’t get shit. His Nocturnal Animals co-star Michael Shannon got a nomination, though. ATJ isn’t sad about it. He tells New York Magazine that you won’t find him silently weeping while naked spooning with a fake Oscar statue he bought off the internet. (That sucks because I wish I would find him naked spooning with a fake Oscar statue he bought off the internet.)
Last July it was reported that Lionsgate was taking the fourth and final film in the Divergent franchise, Ascendant, and chucking it like an expired tuna sandwich. Except instead of trashing it, they decided they’d dump it onto the small screen as a television movie. Poor television. Television doesn’t want your garbage.
Shailene Woodley clearly didn’t want television’s garbage either, and she said a few months later that she wasn’t feeling a television movie. During the premiere of her new HBO miniseries Big Little Lies yesterday, Shailene confirmed what we already knew. When asked if she’d be starring in Ascendant, Shailene told Vanity Fair:
“No. I’m not going to be on the television show.”
Shailene is currently on an HBO series, so it’s not like she’s bailing because she thinks she’s too good for television. She’s just too good for low-budget TV movies. Keep that in mind, Lifetime.
Shailene’s name is still on the IMBD page for Ascendant, but so is Miles Teller, Naomi Watts and two-time Oscar nominee Octavia Spencer. At least they are for now. I have a feeling that it’s only a matter of time before the entire cast list is replaced with a picture of someone shrugging like “Eh, we have no idea either. Maybe someone from a Disney Channel show or something?”
Here’s Shailene at the premiere for HBO’s Big Little Lies in Hollywood last night with a smile on her face that says she’s really happy to not have to do anymore knock-off Hunger Games movies.