Russell Crowe’s Leather Jockstrap Was Auctioned Off For $7,000

April 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Russell Crowe’s divorce from his wife of nine years, Danielle Spencer, is close to being finalized. So he celebrated by selling a bunch of Russell Crowe swag through Sotheby’s Australia, according to People. Included among the memorabilia was his leather jockstrap, which went for $7,000. And believe you me, that jockstrap has seen some AK-SHUN. Those nights when Russell wasn’t kicking Azealia Banks out of hotel room dinner parties or trying to murder hotel clerks with phones, he was down at the Ramrod making all the (uncut) power bottoms gasp with his beefy majesty. If that leather jock could talk! Wait – wut? Oh, it was the leather jock he wore in Cinderella Man? Oh, ok. Nevermind. The jury will disregard that Russell Crowe as leather-daddy fantasy. Continue reading

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Cardi B Confirmed Her Pregnancy On “Saturday Night Live” Last Night 

April 8, 2018 / Posted by:

It’s been rumored for a while that celebrity tax analyst Cardi B is pregnant, and she confirmed it last night with an eye-roll triggering photoshoot backed by flowers on top of a car. No, she did it during her appearance on Saturday Night Live. Cardi’s album, Invasion of Privacy, dropped this week and the marketing plan was in full effect. The album dropping, that title, her pregnancy and her two performances on SNL accompanying the belly reveal came together with military-like precision. It would be cynical to suggest that someone got themselves knocked up just to increase their album sales. That would be more than military precision. That would be future therapy bills for Lil’ Cardi or Lil’ Offset. (Offset from the rap truo Migos is her fiance and the father of her impending tax credit.)

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Yesterday’s HSOTD was a human lightning rod of DANCE!!! (yes, a planted human lightning rod of DANCE!!! but still a human lightning rod of DANCE!!!), so let’s keep that theme going by paying homage to this seasoned sparkler of moves. Not much is known about this short, but cavity-inducingly sweet, clip of a lady in pink getting hers. We don’t know who ole’ girl is, where she is, or when this was shot. But the answers to those questions don’t really matter. The only thing that matters is that out there in the world is a hero in a pink beret (maybe Prince is slightly color blind and THIS goddess is who he was talking about when he wrote Raspberry Beret) who gives zero fucks because she’s too busy giving the people a show.

This clip has been making the rounds on Twitter, and beyond, because grannies dancing is visual industrial-strength Prozac for the soul. In the span of just 90 seconds, she does The Robot, The Hitchhiker, The Twist, and moves that haven’t even been invented yet. Sweet moves are made of these!

Yesterday’s HSOTD was staged, and I’m thinking this clip is too. I mean, two humans walk by her like nothing, and they don’t do what anyone’s natural instinct would be, which is to get on their knees and worship at her sweet moves-producing feet. And not only that, but why is there still snow on that deck? Any highly educated scientist will tell you that it’s scientifically impossible for snow or ice to not instantly melt when hit with scorching moves like that!

Pic: YouTube

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Birthday Sluts

April 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Patricia Arquette (50)
Nicholas Megalis (29)
Gabriella Wilde (29)
Ezra Koenig (34)
Taran Noah Smith (34)
Kirsten Storms (34)
Taylor Kitsch (37)
Katee Sackhoff (38)
Anouk (43)
Emma Caulfield (45)
JR Bourne (48)
Robin Wright (52)
Biz Markie (54)
Julian Lennon (55)
Dean Norris (55)
Donita Sparks (55)
Izzy Stradlin (56)
Richard Hatch (57)
John Schneider (58)
Kane Hodder (63)
Brenda Russell (69)
Vivienne Westwood (77)
Betty Ford (1918-2011)
Mary Pickford (1892-1979)

Pic: Warner Bros.

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Open Post: Hosted By Dunkin’ Donuts’ Donut Fries

April 7, 2018 / Posted by:

As a Bostonian, Dunkies is a necessary part of my existence. Luckily, there’s one on every street corner from Revere to P-Town. You could be stranded in a crevasse in the Berkshires and there’s probably going to be Dunkies in a shrub nearby. That being said, no. Just no to Dunkin’ Donuts Donut Fries. How can you be so lazy that you’re unable to lift a single donut and need it separated into sections?

Grub Street says that Dunkin’ is testing their donut fries in Boston only as part of their “Gotta Have $2 Snacks” menu.

I live in the same town at the original Dunkies, where I’m sure all of the planning of new edibles happens in the back room or whatever. Someone on staff needed to Norma Rae this mess and climb on a coffee machine and stop everyone and scream “WHAT ARE WE DOING?!? WE JUST INTRODUCED A CARAMEL CHOCOHOLIC DONUT AND NOW WE’RE OFFERING DONUT FRIES? AMERICA IS GOING TO STOP RUNNING ON DUNKIN’ AND DIE ON US INSTEAD IF WE KEEP THIS UNHOLY OFFERINGS UP!

Pic: Dunkin’ Donuts

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Target Angered John Barrowman By Telling Him He Shouldn’t Help The Homeless

April 7, 2018 / Posted by:

John Barrowman is a beloved figure in gay nerd circles because he’s an openly homosexy actor who pops up in all of their favorite shows, like Dr. Who, Torchwood, Arrow and The Flash. Because he’s a giver (make of that what you will), John also once delighted both nerdy and non-nerdy gays by accidentally presenting the bared and lengthy penis of his husband Scott. He’s a good guy all-around! He’s also the kind of guy who will buy a homeless dude some clothes and a gift certificate despite the store he shopped at hissing at him over it. John posts on social media A LOT, so the West Hollywood Target (sorry – Tar-JHAY) picked the wrong queen to mess with.

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