Open Post: Hosted By Lindsay Lohan Reciting Her Favorite Lines From “Mean Girls”

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Mean Girls came out 13 years ago, and we’ve all kind of moved on. But thankfully it exists, if only to remind us of a better time before Lindsay Lohan’s career rolled down a trash-covered hill and got stuck in a damp puddle at the bottom. Lindsay really wants a Mean Girls sequel. But until that happens, she’s going to star in an all-female film from Saudi Arabia. And according to a new interview with W Magazine, apparently she was telling the truth last month when she said she was planning to launch her own beauty brand.

To accompany her W Magazine shoot, Lindsay re-created her 8 favorite Mean Girls quotes, but we’re playing pretty fast and loose with the term “re-creates” here. If she was really re-creating her favorite 8 lines, she wouldn’t have shaded Sears and she would have had 8 costume changes, pulled several multicolored LV bags from the archives, and thrown on a variety of wigs.

I’m glad they specified that Lindsay was re-creating her favorite lines from Mean Girls and not her favorite lines overheard during the filming of Mean Girls, otherwise that would be a very different list. Probably much shorter too. Just one line really. “Guys, we’re picking up some feedback on the mics. Sounds like snoring. Lindsay, is your mom sleeping off a hangover in your trailer again?

Pic: YouTube

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PepsiCo Assures The Female World That It’s Still OK To Eat Doritos

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

PepsiCo thinks we’re all pretty stupid. Their CEO, Indra Nooyi, went on a podcast and talked about how men eat chips on Mars and women eat chips on Venus, or some shit. Her remarks were presented within the context of Pepsi’s very real plan to market a snack food based on what they think women’s preferences are when it comes to carb-loading. But forget those pesky facts and things that were actually were said! The real story here, according to Pepsi, is that some people thought they meant Doritos specifically! Ya dumb, bird brains!

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Taylor Swift Is Buying Up A Block In Tribeca

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Remember how Taylor Swift’s 1989 album caused everyone to reach for the Pepto-Bismol? Nashville shat itself because there wasn’t a banjo to be seen or heard on any of the songs, and New York had its own turn at the toilet because the former country crooner had the audacity to write “Welcome To New York” despite being from Pennsylvania and doing time in Tennessee.  I guess TSwift is trying to show New Yorkers who’s boss because she’s spent close to $50 million on real estate on a single block in Tribeca. Continue reading

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Gary Oldman’s Third Ex-Wife Talked About How He Ruined Her Life And Attacked Her

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Gary Oldman has probably done some highly questionable shit in the past. If his terrible defense of Mel Gibson from a while back is any indication, he’s probably got more skeletons in his closet than a hoarding chiropractor. Gary has been winning awards everywhere for Darkest Hour, and since we’re in the era of #MeToo, people have brought up his dark past, like when his third wife (now third ex-wife) accused him of domestic abuse. So Gary’s third ex-wife, Donya Fiorentino, has come out to tell The Daily Mail about how the four years she was married to him were the worst 4 years of her life.

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Henry Cavill Has Broken Up With His Girlfriend Lucy Cork

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

About a year after Henry Cavill broke up with his teenage girlfriend, he started to hook up with a stuntwoman named Lucy Cork. Henry and Lucy met on the set of Mission: Impossible 6, but now they’re over after seven months together.

According to The Mirror, Henry was seen at a recent Warner Bros. party with some friends, who were trying to set up their “single” friend. When one girl approached Henry and introduced herself, his friends allegedly shouted that he was “single and ready to mingle.” That’s a weird way to put it. But maybe “alone and ready for the photo op zone” was just his Kaley Cuoco-era dating strategy.

Henry has since unfollowed Lucy on Instagram, which as we all know in 2018 dating terms means they’re broken up for good. The only thing the Mirror doesn’t know is the reason for why Henry and Lucy broke up. I wonder whatever could have been the straw that broke the camel’s thirsty back? No, I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Henry fell into Demi Lovato’s carefully laid Instagram trap last week. And really, I honestly don’t think Demi’s lingerie-covered titties did Henry’s relationship in. She probably just heard things were bad and decided to lay some groundwork for a possible relationship. And hell, why not get a little attention and some Instagram likes while you’re at it? Honestly, that’s just smart multitasking.

Pics: Wenn.com

Sarah Silverman And Michael Sheen Have Broken Up

February 6, 2018 / Posted by:

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder but you know what else it can make grow? Pussy cobwebs and dick dust! Brassy American broad Sarah Silverman and her British thespian boyfriend Michael Sheen broke up over a month ago due to geographical difficulties. Sarah recently made the announcement on Twitter to stop people from constantly asking her “so, how’s Michael?”.

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