Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 9, 2016 / Posted by:

Steele Johnson!

20-year-old American diver Steele Johnson (actual born name: Steele Johnson) and his 27-year-old diving partner David Boudia won the silver in 10-meter synchro diving at the Olympics yesterday, and to Twitter and beyond, he also won the silver in having the best fucking name ever. (Sorry, but the gold in that category will forever belong to Butt & Fuchs.)

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Birthday Sluts

August 9, 2016 / Posted by:

Sam Elliott (72)
Young Thug (25)
Bill Skarsgård (26)
Anna Kendrick (31)
Ashley Johnson (33)
Jessica Capshaw (40)
Rhona Mitra (40)
Audrey Tatou (40)
Kevin McKidd (43)
Juanes (44)
Chris Cuomo (46)
Gillian Anderson (48)
Eric Bana (48)
McG (48)
Deion Sanders (49)
Hoda Kotb (52)
Kurtis Blow (57)
Michael Kors (57)
Amanda Bearse (58)
Melanie Griffith (59)
Whitney Houston (1963-2012)

Pic: Pinterest

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Night Crumbs

August 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Michael Phelps’ circle hickeys have taken over the Olympics, and Goopy Paltrow must think that is so cute. Because for her, cupping is soooo 2004 and nowadays she gets rid of the toxins in her body by spewing shit out in articles for Goop – Lainey Gossip 

Tom Daley and his diving partner Dan Goodfellow won an Olympic bronze model in Rio. In one of the pics of them reacting to the news, it looks like they’re getting into exciting nipple play – Towleroad

I’m sensing that Twitter will soon get another crazy rant from Brandi Glanville about insufferable LeAnn Rimes….. – Reality Tea 

Normani Kordei of Fifth Harmony has quit Twitter because of racist trolls – Celebitchy

This clip of Brit Brit Spears making sweet mouth love to a hot dog should’ve been the video for “Make Me” – Drunken Stepfather

Kourtney Kartrashian admits that she sometimes thinks she’d be happy if her fame whore family’s reality show came to an end. In related news, Pimp Mama Kris has just ordered a DNA test to see if Kourtney is really her kin – Starcasm

Scott Eastwood may have bumped nipples with Charlotte McKinneyThe Superficial 

49-year-old R. Kelly is dating a 19-year-old and that’s gross, but well, 19 is practically cougar age to him – Just Jared

Two more women have come forward claiming that Bill Cosby assaulted them. That brings the number of alleged victims to: I Lost Count – Jezebel

For why wasn’t August 1st an international holiday? I mean, Howard the Duck turned 30 on that day! – Egotastic!

Tragic. All of it. – Hollywood Tuna 

If a stereotypical Frenchman was transformed into a bikini, he would look like Hilary Duff’s beach outfit – Popoholic

It was nice of Heidi Klum to wear something see-through so that her nipples could enjoy the Drake show too – The Nip Slip

Justin Trudeau’s PM nips photobombed a wedding – OMG Blog

Holly Madison is really, really, really, really pregnant – IDLYITW

Please tell me that Mimi is going to play her Glitter character in season 3 of EmpirePopsugar

Pic: Getty

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No, The Terrifying Lucy Statue Has Not Been “Replaced”

August 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Since 2009, the Lucille Ball Memorial Park in her hometown of Celoron, NY has been free of birds, squirrels, dogs, cats, bees, flies, mosquitos, bunnies and humans not possessed by the devil and it was all because of a horrifying statue of her. No living thing dared to go near it. Over the weekend I saw headline after headline saying that the statue had been “replaced” and I thought that the Lucille Ball Memorial park must now be full of life, butterflies and sunshine again since that soul-murdering Lucy statue is gone. But it’s not gone. It continues to induce night terrors!

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Open Post: Hosted By The Evil King Of Crocs Flipping Us Off

August 8, 2016 / Posted by:

One of Satan’s most-devoted minions Mario Batali was in Portofino, Italy with his family yesterday and he terrorized the people by wearing the Ninth Circle’s official footwear of choice CROCS! The ginger look-alike of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons wears Crocs so much that I bet his hooves have molded to their shape. Mario’s feet probably look like skin Crocs, and now I want to cut a hole in my skull and pour boiling holy water onto my brain until the image of skin Crocs has been cleansed from it.

And Mario throwing us the middle finger is redundant and he shouldn’t have bothered. Because nothing says, “Fuck you, I hate you, I want your eyeballs to die,” like wearing Crocs in public.

Pics: Splash

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