Eight months ago, pap pics of Orlando Bloom paddleboarding his then-girlfriend Katy Perry around Sardinina, Italy with his dick hanging out hit the internet. Orlando’s wiener became such a huge star that it was the guest of honor at his 40th birthday party. As it turns out, Orlando didn’t mean for the world to see his dick. He told Elle UK that he was just as surprised to see it as we were.
About a week after, Shia LaBeouf had a meltdown in a Jerry’s Deli over french fries (understandable) and got kicked out, he has announced that he’s going away from civilization for a month. No, Shia is not checking himself into anger management rehab. Shia will be art-ing.
In typical Tyga fashion, his latest drama has to do with an expensive car. SPOILER ALERT: It doesn’t end with Tyga leading the police on a high speed chase to get away from the dealership demanding payment.
E! News says that Tyga got in trouble with the police last night as he was leaving a nightclub in Hollywood. The man whose status has once again been downgraded to “Kylie Jenner’s ex-boyfriend” was pulled over in his latest expensive car (above) for running a stop sign and driving without proper license plates. Police put Tyga in handcuffs and took him away to the Hollywood Police Station. When asked by a pap why he was being loaded into a cop car, Tyga responded that it was because he had “paper plates.” That seems like a severe reaction for simply running through a stop sign and driving with temporary plates. E! says there was another reason for why Tyga was taken away from his car.
The LAPD tells E! and UsWeekly that after they pulled Tyga over at around 1:30am, they wanted to administer a field sobriety test, but there were too many paps around. So they asked him to take the test back at the station. Tyga agreed, and he passed. He was released without any arrests, just a traffic violation. A source tells E! that Tyga was at a club with his friends last night, but that he “wasn’t drinking.”
I’m glad to hear this happened after he was leaving the club. I’d hate to think he was forgetting to take some much needed me-time while putting in all those hours plotting to take down Blac Chyna.
Here’s Kylie looking like a hooker on laundry day while out at a completely different club last night.
Louis Vuitton threw a party at the Louvre in Paris last night to celebrate their collaboration with Jeff Koons. Jeff Koons designed a line of tacky and hideous bags for them and you can see some of them here, but really, it just looks like the Louvre wiped its asshole with Louis Vuitton purses. The knock-offs are probably going to look better.
Louis Vuitton’s regulars, like Michelle Williams, Jennifer Connelly and Miranda Kerr, came out and so did Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston. After the party, Justin and Jennifer must have been planning to take a time machine back to the 90s to troll clubs for a third. Because they are giving me “90s swingers on a mission” hotness. They look like rejected Bret Easton Ellis characters.
Pulling off leather pants isn’t easy (and I mean that in more ways than one) and Justin isn’t doing it, but I’m still loving this look. Justin looks like that douche at the club whose got a thick cloud of Acqua di Gio following him and who tells the chicks that he’s an exotic car dealer when he’s really a salesman-in-training at a Hyundai dealership. The Roxbury Guys would look at him like, “What an asshole.”
Justin’s bulge isn’t as BOOM as it has been in the past, but it does sort of look like two small guinea pigs spooning in a trash bag.
I bet the line that Justin heard the most all night was, “I can’t wait to see you in paste pants later.”
And here’s more pictures from last night including Jennifer Connelly who covered herself with four layers of nope.
These shitty things really do come in threes. A publicist has confirmed to The Hollywood Reporter the sad news that Charlie Murphy, Eddie Murphy’s older brother and arguably the funnier Murphy, died yesterday after fighting against leukemia. He was only 57.
Charlie wasn’t as famous as his younger brother, but he did gain a cult following in his later years, if people can have a cult following. Charlie had a few roles in TV and film in the late 80s and early 90s and he was pretty much still known as Eddie Murphy’s brother/bodyguard or the guy who wrote Vampire in Brooklyn. It wasn’t until the early 2000s when he became famous for being himself while performing on Chappelle’s Show. Specifically, after writing and starring in a series of sketches called Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories. Charlie talked about his encounters with Rick James and his legendary “shirts vs. blouses” basketball game with Prince. We have Charlie Murphy to thank for “I’m Rick James, bitch!”
After Chappelle’s Show ended, he appeared in a bunch of movies and TV shows, and had a pretty strong voice-over career. Most recently he showed up in a few episodes of Power. He leaves behind three children. He was married to Tisha Murphy from 1997 until her death from cancer in 2009. This was Charlie’s last tweet:
One to Sleep On: Release the past to rest as deeply as possible.
— Charlie Murphy (@charliemurphy) April 12, 2017
Let’s end with Charlie telling the story about Prince kicking his ass on the court. I’d like to believe that Prince greeted Charlie at the gates of Heaven with a basketball in one hand and pancakes in the other.
Last year, The Daily Mail republished a rumor from Slovenian tabloid Suzy that insinuated that Melania Trump may have rented her vagine out to men while trying to make it as a model. The modeling agency that Melania was signed to in the 1990s was allegedly also a leased cooch emporium. Suzy’s article claimed that some of the models also worked as call girls. Well, when they go low, Melania goes to her lawyers and gets money.
Melania’s lawyers originally filed a $150 million lawsuit against The Daily Mail in Maryland, but that lawsuit was thrown out because the judge couldn’t find a connection between the state and The Daily Mail. So Melania’s lawyers refiled the lawsuit in New York a couple of months ago. Melania won’t have to furiously search for the perfect Michelle Obama speech to repeat on the stand while testifying in front of a jury, because the lawsuit was settled. The Daily Mail admitted they were in the wrong and spit up an apology to Melania and that apology didn’t end with: “We’re sorry for calling you a hooker, because everyone knows you’re more of a gold digger!” I thought I knew you, Daily Mail.