If you need an appropriate soundtrack to this story, might I suggest the cast of Glee performing “Blame It On The Alcohol.” Apparently that’s what is to blame for Naya Rivera’s recent domestic battery arrest.
Over Thanksgiving weekend, Naya Rivera was arrested for allegedly attacking her on-and-off husband Ryan Dorsey during a family walk in West Virginia. The 911 call Ryan made the night of the incident has been released. According to West Virginia’s WSAZ-3, Ryan claimed his wife was “out of control” and that she was getting physical with him.
The trailer for the upcoming Avengers: Infinity War is out and I’m confused. I’m not a comic book person but I am an American so I feel contractually obligated to see some of these Marvel movies. And I do! I saw the Captain America one where Cap had a tiny golem body for a minute, I’ve seen at least two Iron Mans, I saw one where everyone was all “look at how cute Spiderman’s butt is” and one where they didn’t say that. I saw the weird beard Asian wizard one and I think I’ve seen the first two Avengers movies but honestly I can’t be sure. I can no longer keep track! There are too many GD avengers!
I think the first line says it all. “There was an idea”. And then there was another one. And another one after that. And Another one soon followed. Pretty soon you have all these ideas pinging around, confusing old people like me who just want to live their lives in relative peace but keep going to see these movies so that the world doesn’t pass us by. I don’t want to turn into my mom who used to be baffled each time a new season of Survivor started and scream, “Who the fuck are all these people!?”.
But, that ship has sailed and so I ask, who the fuck are all these people? Who is the guy with the glowy forehead thing? Is this a A Beautiful Mind crossover? Who is the pink giant that looks like an enormous stubbed toe? Which Olsen twin is that? Why are the bugs from Starship Troopers in there? Lord, I’m going to have to accept that I can no longer keep up and resign myself to being old and out of touch. Advantage: Avengers.
In light of what’s been going on in Hollywood lately, the upcoming Harry Potter movie Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald sounds a lot more sinister when you accidentally type Fantastic Breasts. Maybe that’s why Entertainment Weekly asked Fantastic Beasts director David Yates about the decision to keep Johnny Depp on in a featured role (he plays the titular Grindelwald) in the upcoming sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (yup, that also sounds icky if you add the errant “R“) despite allegations of physical and emotional abuse leveled against him by ex-wife Amber Heard. EW wanted to know why Johnny got a pass.
Earlier this month it was reported that Mel B had withdrawn her domestic violence restraining order against her estranged husband Stephen Belafonte. Now TMZ is saying that Mel and Stephen have worked out the final divorce settlement conditions. Is it true? Can it be? Are we actually at the end of their flaming train wreck of a divorce battle? It’s a pre-holiday miracle!
When the Fall of Pervs 2017 started to hit the world of TV news and Ryan Seacrest was accused (sort of) and Charlie Rose went down, I waited and waited for the creepy perv curtain to be lifted off of bald pillar of potent smug Matt Lauer. Well, that day has come… and you probably didn’t read anything beyond “was accused” because your vision was blurred by the tears you let out while laugh crying over me saying that sneaky garden gnome Ryan Seacrest is in the world of TV news.
But anyway, NBC News announced today that after getting a detailed sexual harassment complaint from an employee on Monday night, they have fired the seemingly untouchable don of morning TV. Meanwhile, employees at Good Morning America are making a mental note to keep the receipt for the holiday gifts they bought for George Stephanopoulos and Michael Strahan.
The two gay Josephs!
Jesus was technically the original star of My Two Dads (his two dads being God and Joseph), but someone in Los Angeles took his story one step further and gay’d it up by putting a gaytivity scene on their lawn. Comedian Cameron Esposito tweeted a picture of the two Josephs and a Jesus that her neighbors decorated their front yard with for Christmas. Either this Jesus was truly a miracle, or their surrogate (Mary) is missing. Also missing is the Three Queens bringing gifts for Baby Jesus (an I Heart My Dads onesie, Celine Dion’s lullaby album and a set of Golden Girls plush dolls).
One of Cameron’s Twitter followers shared her own gaytivity scene starring two lesbian Marys and a Baby Jesus in a strapless rainbow dress thing.
Here's my gaytivity scene with 2 Marys. ❤️ pic.twitter.com/J8itjUCOgr
— Mrs Lady (@Rogue_MrsLady) November 26, 2017
Of course, some religious types, like the Roman Catholic Bishop of Providence, are throwing holy water at that sacrilegious sight and calling it an attack on the Christian faith! Yes, a harmless nativity scene is helping to destroy the Christian faith, but not protecting children who have been raped by priests isn’t. Okay, but you know, I too am concerned for that plastic Jesus, and not because he’s got two dads. I’m concerned because he’s got two parents who look like twins! That’s confusing. Those two Josephs are going to need to wear name tags. They’re the kind of couple who say, “Wha? Us? Naw!”, when you tell them that they’ve been together so long they are starting to look like each other.