The Hollywood Reporter says that HBO is doing a Cabbage Patch Doll-inspired project starring Issa Rae, of Insecure, and Laura Dern, of everything but especially Enlightened (a show I won’t ever let die), will executive produce and star in a limited series for HBO about the Cabbage Patch Doll riots of the early 1980s.
The series will be written by Issa, alongside Insecure writers Laura Kittrell and Amy Aniobi. The series titled The Dolls will be set in 1983 in two small Arkansas towns, and will focus on what happens after a Christmas Eve doll riot. The Dolls will reportedly “explore class, race, privilege and what it takes to be a good mother.”
Xavier Roberts copyrighted his Cabbage Patch Dolls in the late 1970s, but they weren’t a huge, massive hit until they were given a big toy factory makeover in 1982. The Cabbage Patch Dolls we all know hit shelves in America during the holiday season of 1983, and people went wild. It was like as if Black Friday spent the whole day lifting weights and snorting coke, it was that aggressive.
Many stores like J.C. Penney, Sears, and Macy’s all a series of violent customer outbursts over the dolls, especially after upwards of thousands of customers spent time in line waiting for a doll they’d never get. They were called the Cabbage Patch riots, and some even involved weapons, like baseball bats. If Issa and Laura need any present-day references for their project, I suggest they make their way to Calabasas. Because the Cabbage Patch riots sounds a whole lot like the Kardashian compound when there’s only one vial of Botox left.
Lindsay Lohan Wasn’t In The Mood To Talk About That Syrian Refugee “Kidnapping” Video For Her Paper Magazine Interview
Don’t let the new reality show or this high profile Paper Magazine “Break the Internet” profile fool you. Lindsay Lohan is still a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto of a mess. If she thought giving this stingy interview was supposed baptize her anew in the public eye, then she’s still as vapid, vain, and oblivious as ever. The full title of the piece is Princess Charming: Inside Lindsay Lohan’s Enduring Cult of Celebrity, and I guess it’s an apt title is you consider that Lindsay lives in Dubai, surrounded by Saudi princes (a detail eagerly provided by her kid sister, Ali Lohan), completely shut off (by choice) from the real world where people are held accountable for their actions. If that’s what they meant by princess, then sure.
If Kim Kardashian had her own version of “My Favorite Things” from The Sound of Music, she might list off attention, money, whatever is injected into her butt and Cher’s name. Kim loves Cher and dressed as her for Halloween. Last night, she and Kanye West went to the opening night performance of the Broadway musical based on Cher’s life, The Cher Show. Since Kanye’s version of “My Favorite Things” would just involve listing his own name 20 to 30 times, it should come as no surprise that Kanye didn’t care about anything other than himself and texted during the show.
Madonna is here to swipe some more at her arch-nemesis Lady Gaga. The two have been slapping at each other for years and years. Even though they made fun of the feud on Saturday Night Live years ago, these two seem to be in an endless cycle of bringing each other up. Well now it’s Madonna’s turn and she’s bringing up Gaga “100 People” supercut.
Remember when Cardi B turned herself in for allegedly arranging for those two girls to get jumped? That was the last time she was going to take this shit seriously, because when she was supposed to go to court yesterday, she did not show up. And why was Cardi not in attendance? Durh, because she’s way too relevant and busy to be bothered. Delusion, thy name is Cardi B
It was British writer W.E. Hickerson who is credited for coining this phrase:
If at first you don’t succeed,
Try, try, try again
He must’ve been a bottom with IBS (I can relate). But while the mind of W.E. Hickerson came up with that saying, today’s HSOTD, this mouse, has brought it to life like never before. (Well, I shouldn’t say like “never before,” because any bottom with IBS who has finally conquered butt sex with a big one, has brought that saying to life like never before.) HuffPo says that in this footage from a wildlife cam, which was recorded last month, the little mouse who could tried to jump onto a bird feeder. The mouse fails the first time… and the second… and the third… and the fourth…. That mouse keeps trying for more than five hours. I know that a mouse doesn’t have much to do but try to get food, but five hours?!? This video is going to make me check my #humanprivilege when I’m about to bitch about waiting for 5 minutes to get my burrito bowl at Chipotle. It took a zillion times and five hours, but the mouse finally succeeded, and I’m sure that bird seed tasted like the jizz balls of the angels. Sweet success!
This video is pretty much me trying to beat a level on any video game (since I’m shit at video games):
And some have said that this video is like life, but not really. If that video was like life, it would’ve taken the mouse 10 hours to get on the bird feeder, and when it finally did and was just about to taste its reward, a hawk flies by and snatches it up. That is the story of life.