Five-time bareback baby maker Jude Law is playing the young Albus Dumbledore in the Harry Potter prequel film series Fantastic Beasts And How To Employ Every British Actor At Once. His Dumbledore makes his first appearance in the latest one, The Crimes of Grindelwald, and blah blah blah Snape blah blah blah horcrux just get to the point – does he get any peen in the flick?
This car dancing machine of pure fire!
There’s not much information on this loin-scorching video that The Shade Room (via @seanasanchez) posted last night, but who cares about petty little details, when the only thing we need to know about this hot Lord of Car Dancing he throws down in a millisecond.
In the span of a way-too-fast second, Mr. Clean’s freak-dancing third cousin gave me the vapors with his “over-caffeinated kangaroo doing the Cabbage Patch while suffering from an arm cramp,” made me see stars with his “spanking out the fire that sprung up on my crotch when I thrust it” move and completely took me out with his grand finale of putting that bitch in neutral and struttin’. If a car seat could get pregnant, it’d be pregnant with triplets over the ovaries-tingling lap dance he gives it.
That car dance is also helping to save the environment. Because his car is solely running on the electrical bolts shooting off of him as he sings the body electric!
Paloma Faith (37)
Rory Culkin (29)
Chelsie Hightower (29)
Juno Temple (29)
Jamie Waylett (29)
Betty Gilpin (32)
Diane Guerrero (32)
Vanessa Lengies (33)
Blake Lewis (37)
Justin Bartha (40)
Josh Hartnett (40)
Damian Marley (40)
Jaime Murray (42)
Alex Reid (43)
Ali Landry (45)
Charlotte Gainsbourg (47)
Alysia Reiner (48)
Brandi Chastain (50)
Jon Lovitz (61)
Yusuf Islam aka Cat Stevens (70)
Norman Jewison (92)
Robin Williams (1951-2014)
Edward Herrmann (1943-2014)
Janet Reno (1938-2016)
Don Knotts (1924-2006)
The cast of AMC’s The Walking Dead busted out some cheesy Sears Portrait Studio poses during a photo call at San Diego Comic-Con today, and I barely recognized them without all the dirty hair and tired faces from zombie-fighting. Well, everyone but Norman Reedus; he always sort of looks like that – Just Jared
Bill Skarsgard did Comic-Con looking like Magnum P.I.’s shady nephew who sells drugs to tourists. As long as he’s not dressed like a homicidal clown, I’m into it – Lainey Gossip
It looks like Cynthia Bailey is launching her own wine cellar, which is great, because if there’s one thing that doesn’t happen enough on the Real Housewives, it’s getting drunk and throwing a drink in someone’s face – Reality Tea
Ariana Grande continues to copy looks from My Little Pony – Celebitchy
Meanwhile, Victoria Justice and her sister are dangerously close to receiving a cease-and-desist letter from Wet n’ Wild Barbie – Hollywood Tuna
Jason Mraz pretty much confirmed that along with being a hardcore hat enthusiast, he’s bisexual – Towleroad
Here’s Lily-Rose Depp and a friend walking around in bike shorts and heels, which I choose to believe was a very lazy, low-effort tribute to Demi Moore at the 1989 Oscars – Drunken Stepfather
The very first trailer for the very first lady Doctor Who is here – Pajiba
Emily Ratajkowski has got to try a whole lot harder if she wants to steal the focus away from that random mish-mash of an engagement ring – Popoholic
When an initial photograph of Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt was released from that Sharon Tate movie Quentin Tarantino’s directing that nobody asked for, some of us got it confused and thought it was a still for a 70’s gay porn film and got excited. OK, maybe that was just me, but I digress. Well, I may not have been off the mark by too much, because Gus Van Sant is talking about how he was initially pitched to direct Brokeback Mountain and was trying to get Brad and Leo to be the ones to play hide the salami in the Wyoming wilderness. Continue reading
Oh, who am I even kidding. I AM that clingy ex. Kanzie, a springer spaniel from England, doesn’t take the title of man’s (or woman’s! This is 2018) best friend lightly. Her favorite position is a comatose perch against her human’s chest, and she’ll be damned if anyone tries to move her from it!
The best part is her side eye with each return to her owner’s chest. It’s a look of, “Yeah, betch. I’ve tried all the IKEA pillows in the house, and you’re the most comfortable one.” I haven’t seen a persistent, ravenous lean-in like that since my first time with a man, or my first time eating a 20-piece nugget combo at McDonald’s.
It doesn’t really give any further details, but I imagine Kanzie still has her human pinned to that chair, because she’s not ready to give up the cuddles, and she’ll cuddle until she’s had enough! The world should run on Kanzie time. Honestly, she’s a more valid reason to be pinned to a chair for days on end than our usual culprit of Netflix and a case of rosé.