Dear Australia, Jean-Claude Van Damme Has Had It With Your Boring, Stupid Questions!

July 29, 2016 / Posted by:

The real story here is that someone interviewed Jean-Claude Van Damme in the year 2016.

JCVD is doing a speaking tour (????) in Australia next month and so he did a bunch of satellite interviews from Bangkok to promote it. During one of the interviews, the Muscles from Brussels’ last nerve got twisted up over the questions he was being asked and he dramatically busted out of there. Either JVCD’s walk-off was fake and staged to show the people that they would get some DRAMA in his speaking show, or he was genuinely not amused by the questions that were tossed his way.

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Welcome To Taylor Swift’s Poo Poo List, Troian Bellisario!

July 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift used to say “shit list,” but since she says it so much and has to clean her mouth out afterward, she ran out of soap real quick.

Troian Bellisario is on your 12-year-old niece’s favorite show Pretty Little Liars (and yes, I am your 12-year-old niece because I used to watch it religiously) and so since she’s a celebrity, she was at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia this week. Cosmopolitan was also there, and in between working on an article titled, “25 Anti-Hillary Dirty Talk Lines That Will Make Your Bernie-Or-Bust Boyfriend Bust Faster,” they talked to Troian about politics and shit. The “shit” being the feud between the Veronica in Betty’s body, Taylor Swift, and matching butt plugs Kanye and Kim Kartrashian.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Tim Kaine’s wave!

Ever since my eyes first captured Tim Kaine greeting the people, I’ve been meaning to pay tribute to his glorious butterfly fluttering wave. It was in full effect on the last night of the Democratic National Convention. The internet keeps saying that Tim Kaine IS your dad, but to me, Tim Kaine is your nice uncle. He’s the uncle who always called you “buddy,” wrote a Dr. Seuss quote on your graduation card and once got away from the grown-ups at a family party to watch Homeward Bound with the kids (but left when he started to get emotional). But back to his magnificent spirit fingers.

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Birthday Sluts

July 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Tim Gunn (63)
Joey Essex (26)
Génesis Rodríguez (29)
Rachel Miner (36)
Danger Mouse (39)
Josh Radnor (42)
Stephen Dorff (43)
Wanya Morris (43)
Wil Wheaton (44)
Timothy Omundson (47)
Martina McBride (50)
Alexandra Paul (53)
Danielle Staub (54)
Cynthia Rowley (58)
Ken Burns (63)
Geddy Lee (63)
Patti Scialfa (63)
Leslie Easterbrook (67)
Tony Sirico (74)
David Warner (75)

Pic: WhoSay

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Night Crumbs

July 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Cara Delawhatever told a story about how she, Uzo Udaba and Ruby Rose busted a ghost prank on Kesha and others during Taylor Swift’s all-star Fourth of July weekend party. So yeah, Taylor’s sleepovers are totally like 8th grade slumber parties, only the pair of panties that get frozen are usually made by La Perla – Lainey Gossip 

Maybe Ariana Grande Latte’s piece broke up with her because he wants to testify against her when she’s finally charged with terrorizing donuts! – Celebitchy

What in mom going to Spring Break in Panama City Beach circa 1989 HELL is Nicole Scherzinger wearing? – Egotastic!

Just when I think my standards can’t possibly get any lower, I look at a picture of Caroline Manzo’s kin, and think, yup, I’d let him all up into my donut hole – Reality Tea

I think I’d rather drink a gallon jug full of hot STD stew from the Jersey Shore hot tub than watch Snooki’s video again – Drunken Stepfather

If you’re a contestant on The Bachelor Australia and you get a rose but don’t want it, make it go away by eating it – Jezebel

Hilary Duff’s got another crazed stalker – The Superficial 

Oh, Stephen Colbert, don’t be silly! Donald Trump has never sucked Vladimir Putin’s dick. He’s too busy sticking his tongue up Putin’s pooter – Towleroad

Lot lizard elegance brought to you by Charlotte McKinneyIDLYITW

The people behind the Bad Moms premiere invited anti-vaxxer Kristin Calamari. I see what they did there! – Hollywood Tuna 

In slow pap day news, the paps papped Hailey BaldwinPopoholic

Are we sure this isn’t really a picture of the Supergirl and Superman action figures? – SOW

MTV Classic shouldn’t bother existing unless they bring back Just Say Julie reruns too! – HuffPo

That dude Kelly Sears Roebuck is bending over in front of is probably like, “Err, okay, but I’d rather have a tip in money form.”  – The Nip Slip 

One of Phaedra Parks’ ex-clients showed up to her office with a bomb – Starcasm

A few Republicans just found out that Bradley Cooper isn’t really an American sniper who was killed 3 years ago…. – Just Jared

Um, is this picture of Diane Kruger a vacation pic or a waist trainer ad? – Popsugar

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