Two Chinese companies are playing matchmaker for their female employees as they are allowing all single females over the age of 30 more vacation time so they can “go home and date”. The Telegraph is reporting that the female workers at a Song dynasty-themed tourist attraction are going to be able to take extra time off during the Lunar New Year holiday which lasts a week to go out and get yourself off old ass maid status.
The dog-loving dolphin and the dolphin-loving dog!
The world is a charbroiled ass scab and pimple pus sandwich, and things are more divided and gross than my ass cheeks while I’m taking a hole pic for Grindr, but this clip of today’s HSsOTDs remind us that not everything is ugly. There is sweetness in the world and there are some living things who can get along.
Humans at Patawalonga Creek in Adelaide, South Australia got a live performance of some real-life Disney shit when a dolphin and a black Labrador playfully swam together like they were reincarnations of the Fox and the Hound. This clip makes me want to yodel out an Australian cover of Best of Friends called Best of Cunts (hey “cunts” sometimes means “friends” to Australians, okay?)
Finally, some cuteness and happiness on this site (and shut the hell up if you’ve got footage of the dolphin leading the dog out to the ocean where the sharks who hired the dolphin are waiting to snap the pooch up. Not today, please!)
Rachel Crow (21)
Doutzen Kroes (34)
Draya Michele (34)
Julia Jones (38)
Tito Ortiz (44)
Lisa Wu (46)
Ewen Bremner (47)
Lisa Snowdon (47)
Mariska Hargitay (55)
Gail O’Grady (56)
Princess Caroline of Monaco (62)
Robin Zander (66)
Richard Dean Anderson (69)
Anita Pointer (71)
Rutger Hauer (75)
Chita Rivera (86)
Jeanne Moreau (1928-2017)
Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 33 – Woe Is Bradley Cooper! Where’s Mister Rogers? And Other Oscar Nominations Talk
After a 4,598 year hiatus (or a little over a month if you want to be specific about it), we are back with a third co-host. Allison delivered a human bundle of baby and she joins us for the first part of this episode. We got rid of her for the second part, because she goo goo’d out lines that are a million times funnier and smarter than anything we could come up with and we were tired of her showing us up like that.
Allison and I get into the Oscar nominations from the snubs to the surprises to the predictions to me butchering name after name while angering my ancestors. We also say a few words about Chris Brown’s latest arrest, Anne Hathaway giving up booze for her kid, and the lavish dog funeral. We end with me asking Allison the question of 2019: Would you suck dick to get Evian into the Fyre Festival?
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Neri Oxman, the MIT professor who may or may not have bumped fuck parts with Brad Pitt, pretentiously announced in The New York Times’ Style Section that she and her billionaire boyfriend are married and she’s pregnant. Hmmm… pregnant about three months after denying that she ever dated Brad Pitt? Neri’s going to have some serious explaining to do if she gives birth to a bong that thinks it’s a regular Michelangelo – Celebitchy
Chris Pine is serving up 19th century accountant on Casual Friday – Lainey Gossip
When you’re rich like Karlie Kloss and just go from the heated SUV to the venue, you don’t have to worry about a peasant thing called “covering up your legs while in Paris in the winter” – Drunken Stepfather
Tom Hanks’ character in That Thing You Do! was gay and doing it with Howie Long, and it’s great that I know that, but now I also have that annoying ass title song of cheese stuck in the crevices of my brain. The price you pay for shit – Pajiba
Ain’t nobody got time to air side pieces during a normal divorce proceeding because that just screams, “Discretionary cash! Gimme half!”
There were tabloid murmurs that Brad Pitt and Charlize Theron were casually doing it after meeting on the set of a shoot for Breitling watches (see: above) six months ago. But some people took that with a grain of salt since Brad is friends with Charlize’s ex, Sean Penn. Brad seems lucid enough these days to know so much as a sneeze in front of Sean can set him off, so I’d imagine he’d steer clear of boinking the lady Sean used to be boinking. Alas, we’re now at an impasse: some people say they’re definitely NOT a thing while others say they definitely ARE – but don’t want to make a deal out of it until he and Angelina Jolie are no longer legally bound.