Last week, mismatched daters in the cesspool of love began lengthening the age ranges on their favorite hookup apps after discovering Bill Murray and Kelis‘ potential May/December romance. And this pairing is weird as hell because I would have never placed these two together in an elevator, let alone a relationship. But neither of them has 100% claimed each other since everything is merely speculation at this point. And Kelis is reveling in her moment to milk the situation by dropping little cryptic gems here and there to keep the story fresh as opposed to simply coming out and saying, “Yes, Bill slimes me EVERY night, you nosy bitches!”

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Over the weekend, The Daily Mail farted up the headline: “EXCLUSIVE: Britney Spears’ family say they fear she is on METH and will die like Amy Winehouse: Father of her boys Kevin Federline says loved-ones are ‘terrified’ she is on the Breaking Bad drug.” Some barely blinked while reading that headline since it wouldn’t be the first time Kevin Federline scooted his ass over to The Daily Mail to shit-talk Britney Spears for a check. Although some probably paused while reading that headline to think, “Err, somebody needs to learn how to Google since Amy Winehouse didn’t die of a meth overdose. And why did they have to drag Walter White into this mess?!” But according to KFed, The Daily Mail’s article is a lie, and we should take it as seriously as him saying, “You know, I’m going to look for a full-time job today.”

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Many of us grew up on Jennifer Coolidge, whether we were “bending and snapping” with Paulette in Legally Blonde or cringing at Jeanine Stifler’s scandalous dalliances with a much younger Paul Finch in American Pie. But even though Stifler’s Mom was probably Jennifer’s most notable character back then, Jennifer herself recently opened up about her decision to not be anyone’s mom–she thinks she’s probably too immature.

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Recently, Kim Catrall declared that she’s going to do whatever it takes to fight aging. Well, now it’s her And Just Like That… co-star (well, for one episode anyway) Kristin Davis‘ turn to fight it out over the topic of face tweaking. 58-year-old Kristin is talking about how her filler usage has been criticized and she’s been so relentlessly harassed for how she looks. Kristin adds that she’s cried over her filler choices as she tried to keep up.

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Usually, when law enforcement rolls up to Maison Minaj, it’s probably to check that Nicki Minaj’s sex offender husband, Kenneth “Zoo” Petty, didn’t shadily strap his house arrest ankle monitor onto an assistant so he could step out to do whatever it is he does; but, this time sheriffs checked in with them twice in one night after swatters first claimed that Nicki and Kenneth’s 3-year-old son was in danger, and later that their house was actively on fire.

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