Birthday Sluts

May 10, 2018 / Posted by:

Linda Evangelista (53)
Missy Franklin (23)
Jake Zyrus (26)
Shaun Ross (27)
Lauren Potter (28)
Mat Franco (30)
Odette Annable (33)
Kenan Thompson (40)
Todd Lowe (41)
Andrea Anders (43)
Helio Castroneves (43)
Leslie Stefanson (47)
Dallas Roberts (48)
Erik Palladino (50)
Young MC (51)
Lisa Nowak (55)
Bono (58)
Victoria Rowell (59)
Ellen Ochoa (60)
Paige O’Hara (62)
Miuccia Prada (69)
Donovan (72)
Barbara Taylor Bradford (85)
Sid Vicious (1957-1979)
Nancy Walker (1922-1992)
Fred Astaire (1899-1987)

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Night Crumbs

May 9, 2018 / Posted by:

There’s needing a check. And then there’s needing a check so bad that you’ll sign onto a messy-sounding semi-fictional horror movie where you play Nicole Brown Simpson who is haunted by ghosts and gets attacked by one just days before her murder. Mena Suvari falls into the second category  – Pajiba

Well, Katy Perry’s stylist had this coming since she’s the one who created that feathery monster – Lainey Gossip 

Why are we even talking about Cate Blanchett when Julianne Moore is down there looking like she’s shitting red feathers and doing it with elegance? – Celebitchy

Sienna Miller’s looking like she’s about to flutter through an enchanted forest to twirl in a cloud of dust around the fairies. I hope that enchanted forest has a Walgreens, because she needs a pencil to paint some brows on – Drunken Stepfather 

Stormy Daniels should really be thrown in jail for making everyone think of Jabba the Trump’s dick – Towleroad

Somebody needs to call in a bird whisperer, because it looks like two cockatoos are fighting on top of Kristen Stewart’s head – Popoholic

If the wedding even happens, Jonathan Groff is going to be Lea Michele’s maid of honor – Just Jared

Even Meghan Markle’s wax figure is looking at me with smug eyes like, “Yes, I’m fucking your man, bitch.” – SOW

Pic: Wenn.com

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A 95-Year-Old Granny Was Arrested For Taking A Slipper To Her 46-Year-Old Granddaughter’s Face

May 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Back when I was a kid, I couldn’t use the threat, “I’m calling the cops!”, on my abuelita, because the cops probably would’ve gladly held me down as she chancleta’d the stank out of me. But times have changed, and nowadays the cops will put a Florida granny in handcuffs even if the brat she slapped with a chancleta (or a slipper in this case) is 46 years old.

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Jane Fonda Has Retired From The Dating Scene

May 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Regardless of sexual orientation, I think you’d be hard pressed to find someone who wouldn’t look at that picture of Jane Fonda giving a look that says “My place?” and not feel a little flattered. But regardless of what Jane’s eyes are saying, she’s not trying to date.

Jane spoke to Extra at the premiere of Book Club, and they wanted to talk about her love life, because that’s sort of what Book Club is about. Jane Fonda is 80-years-old, and I mention this because she does too, but also because she doesn’t look anywhere close to the age where you hang a sign over your business that says “Thanks for many years of wonderful memories, but as of today we’re closed.” And yet, that’s what Jane has done. She was dating, but that she’s recently “closed up shop” between her legs.

“I’m not dating anymore, but I did up until a couple of years ago. I’m 80. I’ve closed up shop down there.”

Jane has been married three times, and her last big relationship was with record producer Richard Perry from 2009 to 2017. I suppose that means Richard Perry was her last date. Or maybe she crammed a couple dozen in right before the closed sign went up. Regardless, she’s clearly over it all, and that’s great for her. Not to mention she can definitely feel satisfied without men, and I’m not talking about geriatric arthritis vibrators. I’m sure Jane gets a jolt of oxytocin every time she gets in a good read at Megyn Kelly’s expense.

Pic: Wenn.com

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A Report Says Tidal Faked The Stream Count For Beyoncé And Kanye West

May 9, 2018 / Posted by:

Anytime someone wants to accuse Kanye West of anything, nobody really bats an eye. Anytime someone wants to accuse Beyoncé of some shit, it becomes a case of “Molly, you in danger, girl.” Alas, a Norwegian newspaper has done just that by accusing Tidal of giving both of those two false streaming counts – hundreds of millions of false streams – and notching them higher royalties. And to think: Kanye thought Jay-Z and Tidal were screwing him over! Continue reading

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