Open Post: Hosted By An Elderly Adele

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Adele commemorated her 29th birthday on May 5th by posting pics of what she’d look like as an old lady on her Instagram, yesterday.

Nearly 30! Thanks for the well wishes. See you soon x

What I want to know is – was this a Photoshop job or did she take the time to have a makeup artist do her up? Megastars can really get whimsical with special occasions, huh.

This could become a meme, celebs aging themselves up for social media kicks on their birthday. And then the opposite will start to happen. Celebs whose terror over aging causes them to resort to desperate measures, like replacing their faces with plastic and vampirism. Then they will start posting pics of themselves made up as fetuses. This could get grotesque really quickly.

Pic: Instagram

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Kanye West Shut Down His Social Media Accounts

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

You may have noticed the Twitter Bird flying loop-to-loops with gleeful abandon lately and chirping a carefree song. That’s because a great weight has been lifted from its blue back. Kanye West is no longer on Twitter. We can all imagine how heavy a burden his angry and sometimes nonsensical rants with all those capital letters must have been. He has also shut down his Instagram account. Can a person quit the bitch known as “social media” and still live a life of happiness and fulfillment?

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Conrad Hilton Allegedly Broke Into E.G. Daily’s House After Stealing Her Ex-Husband’s Car

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Wait, what? Let’s set the scene.

Conrad Hilton is Paris Hilton’s little brother, and about as entitled and odious as a shithead rich kid could ever hope to be. E.G. Daily was “Dottie” in Pee-Wee Herman’s Big Adventure. E.G.’s daughter, Hunter Salomon, is Conrad’s ex-girlfriend.

TMZ says that Conrad was arrested for reportedly trying to break into her house (again) at 4 AM, Saturday morning. He was also allegedly charged with grand theft auto for stealing E.G.’s ex-husband and Hunter’s dad Rick Salomon’s Bentley from HIS house before the break-in. Yes, that’s the Rick Salomon who starred in the proto-Kardashian sex tape with Paris Hilton. These two families need to move to opposite coasts because they are way too close and none of this sounds healthy.

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American Idol: Does Nothing Ever Truly Stay Dead?

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Because we apparently haven’t had our fill of fame-hungry singers degrading themselves for irritating “judges” who’ve slipped down a rung (or two) on the celebrity relevancy ladder, American Idol is most likely coming back. The only way this would have any sparkle for me is if Paula Abdul left this summer’s NKOTB tour and got her crazy ass back to the judge’s table.

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Tom Daley And Dustin Lance Black Got Married

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

Quintessential twink and Olympic diver, Tom Daley, married Oscar-winning screenwriter, Dustin Lance Black, at a hotel in Britain yesterday.

The Sun says that Tom re-enacted Juliet’s scene on the balcony from Romeo & Juliet before the ceremony. The BBC has a guest disputing this, but I’m going with The Sun. Not because it’s a more reputable news source, but because I want to believe that a gender-swapped selection from Shakespeare (and I’m hoping Tom was in drag as Juliet) was performed at a wedding.
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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 7, 2017 / Posted by:

The Deflating Pikachu!

Thanks to Chelsea Handler’s ass, every time I see or hear the word “Pikachu,”I think of a pussy. So “deflating Pikachu” sounds like the exact medical term for what happens to a woman’s vagina when she looks at a picture of current day Johnny Depp. But today’s HSOTD is a different kind of deflating Pikachu. NPR says that during the Pokemon World Festival 2017 in the newly-ish built South Korean city of Songdo on Friday, a terrifying scene came to life when over a dozen inflated Pikachus bounced and danced to Uptown Funk and You Can’t Stop The Beat from Hairspray. That right there is some shit straight out of Satan’s manual on The Most Cruel And Horrific Torture Techniques In Existence. But that little Pokémon dance recital of terror got even more terrifying (and haha-worthy) when one of the Pikachus started to deflate and was immediately tackled by a dude in a white shirt who was immediately tackled by a security guard.

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