Jack Nicholson Will Star With Kristen Wiig In An English-Language Remake Of “Toni Erdmann”

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:

The last movie Jack Nicholson appeared in was 2010’s How Do You Know. If I was 79 like Jack is, I’d also only leave the house for the odd Lakers game here and there. But I guess the right project came along, and it was enough to make him want to put on some pants and go to work.

Sources tell Variety that Jack has come out of semi-retirement to star in Paramount’s upcoming English-language remake of the 2016 German-Austrian film Toni Erdmann. The film, which has received a bunch of awards, including an Academy Award nomination for Best Foreign Language Film, is about a weirdo father trying to reconnect with his workaholic adult daughter. He invents a character named Toni Erdmann and poses as a life coach. Kristen Wiig is playing his daughter, and will also co-produce the film.

Variety says Paramount is still looking for a director and a writer. Jason Voorhees totally just emailed his contact at Paramount a folder of creative writing samples. “Hey, so I recently found myself out of work, and I heard a job opened up over there.”

English-language remakes have a reputation of being no where near as good as the original, so I hope they don’t do a really great movie like Toni Erdmann dirty. More importantly, I hope they remembered to break the news to Jack Nicholson very gently that his 43-year-old co-star would be playing his (deep breath) daughter and not his girlfriend. You don’t want to shock him into a coma.

Pic: Splash

Kleptoyonce Strikes Again: Messy Mya’s Family Is Suing Her For Using His Voice Without Permission

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Beyonce, seen above eyeing the next mark she’s going to steal from, is being sued by the sister of late bounce artist and YouTuber Messy Mya (government name: Anthony Barré) for using unauthorized pieces of his videos in her song Formation. If the other Mya is wondering why her Instagram page is getting bombed with bee emojis, she now knows why. The Beyhive just got the wrong Mya, that’s all.

Continue reading

SHARE

Tom Hiddleston’s Explanation Of That “I ♥ T.S.” Tank Top Is Cringe Fuel

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:

Tom Hiddleston should keep a lighter in his pants pocket at all times. That way whenever anyone brings up that mortifying moment when he traded in his dignity for a little pap fame by wearing that I ♥ T.S. tank top out in public, he can set his pants on fire and say, “Oh look, my pants are on fire. I have to go. Bye.” But during a two day-long interview with GQ’s Taffy Brodesser-Akner, Tom was asked about the most embarrassing clothing item since the skort and he goes on and on and on about it and gets deep. That would’ve been the perfect time for Tom to quote his former employer Taylor Swift by saying, “I would like to be excluded from this narrative.

Continue reading

The Latest “Friday The 13th” Reboot Has Been Killed

February 8, 2017 / Posted by:

jasonv

A strange thing happened recently. Hollywood decided they didn’t want to go through with another reboot of a movie from the 80s. But it wasn’t because they didn’t want to ruin childhoods again. It’s all about money. Multiple sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that Paramount has dropped plans for their Friday the 13th reboot.

Continue reading

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >