Tyler Henry and The Long Island Medium don’t have to quit the psychic game just yet, because Allison and I wrongly predicted who People would pick as their Sexiest Man Alive 2018. Once we weep about that (and slobber at the mouth over Idris Elba getting the title), we talk about the latest in the Brangelina custody saga, the refined and expensive tastes of JK Rowling’s ex-assistant, and we discuss if chamomile is tea or not. Thank you for that, Benedict Cumberbatch! Other highly important topics we get into are: Chris Pine’s peen in Outlaw King, Satan suing Netflix, and Duchess Meghan taking her baby on the subway. We end by using Oprah’s annual Favorite Things list to talk about some of our favorite things. Warning: The words “prostate massager” and “pizza squeeze” are used in the same segment.
You can listen to us on iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, iHeartRadio, and Google Play. And you can e-mail us at email@example.com if you want to bitch us out about something, or if you have a not-too-deep dilemma you want advice on!
Finally, the serious film journalists over at HuffPo have done a detailed review of Chris Pine’s peen in Netflix’s Outlaw King. But the review didn’t say if Chris’ peen is wearing a badass metal hood like the one in that picture above, or how many veins it’s got, or approximately how long is it, or if it could pin down Michael Fassbender’s peen in a wrasslin’ match or not. And they call themselves journalists! – Towleroad
I was going to awwww over these two hobos in love, but I’m too busy heaving over FKA Twigs’ ugly shoes from the depths of 90s hell – Lainey Gossip
If Bella Thorne was going for “cracked out Gremlin lot lizard,” she took it too far! Dial it back, girl – Drunken Stepfather
And now I really want some vanilla chocolate chip ice cream – Popoholic
Porsha Williams is out of the hospital and is feeling well enough to use her fingers to thank the well-wishers – Reality Tea
The day Duchess Meghan actually takes the royal baby on the subway is the day that Morrissey is seen buying a load of I Heart THE QUEEN merchandise at a gift shop near Buckingham Palace – Celebitchy
Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade are parents to a baby girl now – SOW
Chihuahua? To me that looks more like Owen Wilson after shape-shifting into a weird-looking cat – Pajiba
Only now?! – Hollywood Tuna
Expected Donald Trump take a break from his busy schedule of tweeting to tweet about how Kathy Griffin’s failed love life now matches her failed career – Just Jared
Shoe polish-hued skin and gorilla hair weaves don’t come cheap! There’s nothing the Internet loves more than cat videos except to drag idiots who post their weekly money diaries. In a move that is sure to make her accountant weep and Uncle Sam rub his hands together and bellow, “HERE WE GO AGAIN!”, Teresa Giudice felt the need to inform the general public she spends $22,077 on her beauty routine. Sorry, Juicy Joe. I guess there’s no money left for your legal fund!
Bennifer 2.0 is no more! Although it seems like it took longer than it took to cram Ben into his Batsuit, the Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner divorce was actually pretty painless and amicable, compared to others we’ve seen. Especially if you ignore that whole waiting for Ben to dry out business (twice!).
According to TMZ, a judge has signed off on the final documents in their divorce, and the two are now single and free to pursue any Playboy Bunnies or Robot Hamburger Men they choose. And they did it all without hiring any lawyers! Well, they did hire Laura Wasser, Divorce Attorney To The Stars, but she only acted as a mediator.
If your British and want your powerless head of state to wear a “Bernie Bro” T-shirt and a #metoo pin, you’re shit out of luck with Prince Charles. Charlie somehow thinks he’s going to outlive THE QUEEN and have a shot at that throne, and he decided to let cameras follow him for a year to document how difficult his life is waiting in the wings. Charlie may be best known for his waiting game and for giving up the Princess Diana for Duchess Camilla, but he’s also an environmentalist and has used his title for a host of charitable causes. He says that goes out the window the moment he dons the crown. Ha!
This is the way Meg Ryan announced she’s engaged to John Mellencamp. Earlier today, The Daily Mail posted pictures of Meg out and about in NYC with a set of wedding-looking rings on her ring finger.
Meg Ryan, 56 steps out with diamond ring on THAT finger https://t.co/YvCpXSbkXr
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) November 8, 2018
Naturally, some people assumed that Meg and John got married. Meg cleared up that rumor by posting the little illustration above to her Instagram account with the caption: “ENGAGED.” Meg and John have been together off and on since 2011, with a Christie Brinkley break in there somewhere. This will be Meg’s second marriage (her first husband was Dennis Quaid), whereas this will be John’s third.
About that picture, I don’t look forward to sleeping tonight, because I know that thing is going to have a starring role in my nightmares. It looks like it was drawn with the chewed-down nub of a golf pencil on gas station restroom paper towel. What pictures were used for reference? Because I’m seeing less Meg and more Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands after a botched hand transplant surgery. And John looks like Thomas Markle with his mouth stitched shut. I’m sure that’s something that’s been doodled on Kensington Palace stationary hundreds of times.