Open Post: Hosted By An Albino Moose Killing A Lawn Mower

/ September 9, 2018

Automated things are occasionally scary and menacing. I’m sure one of us has forgotten they turned the Roomba on one time and then beaten it to death with a broom because you thought that a wild animal somehow got in the house or we were being invaded by evil (and very short) outer space robots. *crickets* Well, maybe that only happens to people who drink. Anyway…

SBS News reports that this rare white moose in Sweden was taped by one Marianne Niklasson after she spotted it on a lawn while driving past.

“I never thought in my entire life that I would experience such a thing,” she told SVT News Varmland.

“He did not like the lawnmower,” Ms Niklasson said.

That would be an understatement because the white moose beat the shit out of that lawnmower. And on his third kick, he killed it dead! Roombas are kind of expensive, so we can assume this poor, dead lawnmower was too. And the kicker is that you can’t really sue a rare white moose. Sorry, unnamed Swedish lawn mower owner.

Pic: YouTube

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Denise Richards Got Married In Front Of Bravo’s Cameras 

/ September 9, 2018

Denise Richards married Aaron Phypers yesterday as planned in an intimate Malibu wedding ceremony that included only their closest family and friends. But don’t worry, “intimate Malibu wedding ceremony” translates to fully filmed and currently being edited for the upcoming ninth season of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. That’s right, if you didn’t make the invite list, don’t worry! Just like Charlie Sheen, who may or may not have been in attendance yesterday, you can relive all the wedding magic as soon as the next season of RHOBH kicks off! Continue reading

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Ariana Grande Is Being Blamed By Some Of Mac Miller’s Fans For His Death

/ September 9, 2018

Tragically, rapper Mac Miller was found dead of an apparent overdose at his Studio City, CA home on Friday. Miller, who was open about his struggles with substances, is being mourned by fans and fellow hip-hop artists alike. Unfortunately for Mac’s ex-girlfriend Ariana Grande, some people’s mourning takes the form of blaming her for his death. Ariana, who posted a photo of Miller on Instagram last night, had to shut off her comments due to some hate she was receiving according to People.

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Nicki Minaj Isn’t Pressing Charges Against Cardi B

/ September 9, 2018

Alleged strip club bartender beatdown mastermind Cardi B livened up the Harper’s Bazaar Icons party on Friday night by hurling a shoe at her arch-nemesis Nicki Minaj and lunging as if she was me and Nicki was a dollar draft. TMZ sez that Nicki emerged from the attempted tussle with nary a plastic asscheek marred, so she won’t be pressing any charges. Whatever comes of this, you can be assured that the producers of Love & Hip-Hop: New York are kicking themselves for not offering Cardi more money to stay on. This would have been the best episode ever. Well, that and the one where Cardi is seemingly being finger-blasted by her husband on video. Wow, this gal gets A LOT done in a month.

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Pamela Anderson Dumped Her French Footballer Boyfriend After He Gave Her A Pre-Engagement Ring

/ September 9, 2018

In the tower of his fancy London political asylum cell, Julian Assange is celebrating like a giddy boy today with the news that Pamela Anderson has dumped her World Cup winning French soccer star boyfriend Adil Rami after he reportedly gave her a Cartier pre-engagemnt ring. Pamela, who customarily likes her men a bit more skinny and dirt baggy, has apparently had enough of Adil’s healthy soccer player glow and has kicked him to the curb after about a year of living together.  Continue reading

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Serena Williams Called Out Sexism In Tennis After She Was Penalized By An Umpire At The US Open 

/ September 9, 2018

Tennis deity and proud catsuit wearer Serena Williams lost the US Open women’s singles final to Naomi Osaka yesterday, but the real drama occurred when chair umpire Carlos Ramos penalized Serena for cheating during the match. Ramos claimed Williams was receiving coaching. Things escalated rather quickly from there. Serena eventually labeled Caros a “thief,” and called out sexism in tennis. She also ended up owing 17K in fines. It got very real at Arthur Ashe Stadium yesterday. Continue reading

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