If The Emmys Didn’t Nominate “Modern Family” For Outstanding Comedy, Did The Emmy Nominations Even Happen? 

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The 70th annual Emmy nominations were announced this morning by Samira Wiley (from The Handmaid’s Tale and Orange is the New Black) and Ryan Eggold (from The Black List and 90210 2.0). Or did they? Because Modern Family didn’t come out of either of their mouths while announcing the main comedy nominations. This is the first time in the show’s history that it hasn’t been nominated for Outstanding Comedy. It won 5 times in a row for its first 5 seasons, and has won a total of 22 Emmys. That Emmy statue chick is breathing a sigh of relief that her breath doesn’t smell like Modern Family ass today because she’s no longer got her tongue up that show’s ass. I’m sure the cast and creators will dry their rejected tears on the $1 million bills they had specially printed up by the U.S. Treasury because it’s so much easier to carry around one $1 million bill instead of one million $1 bills.

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Papa John’s Founder Resigns After Dropping The N-Word During A Conference Call 

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Another day another racist rant that causes someone to lose their job. This time it was founder of pizza giant Papa John’s. Yup, Papa John himself just got fired from Papa John’s.

Forbes is reporting that founder, chairman and human mascot, John Schnatter, done Schnattered the bed after using the N-word on a conference call. Jeez, man. I’ve heard of answering a conference call while in the bathroom, but never at a Trump Rally. Don’t those get kind of loud? Continue reading

Stormy Daniels Was Arrested At An Ohio Strip Club For Allegedly Letting An Undercover Cop Motorboat Her (UPDATE) 

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

UPDATE: All the charges against Stormy have been dropped, because the Ohio law is only meant for regular strip club strippers. Stormy was a featured guest dancer. The judge already threw the charges out, and that’s that. Poor “Deric Dump” (see my “joke” below) had to bruise his one brain cell by trying to figure out how to call the cops in Columbus for nothing! The cops also claim that they weren’t targeting Stormy. They were there to look into complaints of drugs and hooking.

Here’s the original story:

The shit Stormy Daniels was put into handcuffs for may have been stupid and a complete waste of everyone’s time, but at least she brought it in her mug shot, and gave that camera heaping servings of beauty, glamour, and intrigue with that yellow-haired Jaqueline Smith Charlie’s Angels seasons 1 hair and those smoky vengeance eyes. Stormy really needs to do a YouTube beauty tutorial showing us how to paint your face up so it remains stunning even under the harsh beauty-hating lighting of a police station.

CNN says that Stormy Daniels, the porn star and one-time fuck partner of Donald Trump (as in, they only fucked once) who is suing him for defamation, was arrested late last night at Sirens strip club in Columbus, OH for letting a customer touch her. The customer happened to be an undercover cop named Officer Mary Prather. Stormy is accused of touching Officer Mary’s ass and breasts before motorboating her. Ohio law states that a stripper who gets naked or semi-naked can only touch a customer if they’re related to that customer. Jabba the Trump is definitely cackling over one of his many rivals getting arrested, but he’s also making a mental note that if for some reason Ivanka has to become a stripper, she needs to do so in Ohio.

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Conrad Murray Alleges Joe Jackson Chemically Castrated Michael Jackson

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

I hope you’ve enjoyed your day so far, because it’s about to get gross and dark. Happy Thursday!

Conrad Murray, the shady doctor who served two years for manslaughtering Michael Jackson, is back with a message. And it is not a pleasant one. As you may be aware, the patriarch of the Jackson family, Joe Jackson, recently died. Well, Conrad heard about the death and he had some words to say about it. Continue reading

Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Cherie Trieffel, the drag queen who brought glamour and drama to the “If anyone objects to this union..” portion of a wedding!

The wedding ceremony itself is usually the time when I sleep with my eyes open as a way of preparing my body and soul for all the boozing and cake-eating I’ll have to do to get through talking to my relatives and dancing to shitty songs at the reception. When you’ve seen one wedding reception, you’ve seen one too many, because they’re boring! But not the wedding ceremony of The Peters (aka Peter McConnachie and Peter Deaville) at Saint Luke’s church in Glasgow, Scotland.

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Birthday Sluts

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

Richard Simmons (70)
Erik Per Sullivan (27)
Phoebe Tonkin (29)
Natasha Poly (33)
Gareth Gates (34)
Kimberly Perry (35)
Nina Bo’Nina Brown (36)
Topher Grace (40)
Michelle Rodriguez (40)
Steve Howey (41)
Anna Friel (42)
Tracie Spencer (43)
Cheyenne Jackson (43)
Loni Love (48)
Kristi Yamaguchi (47)
Lisa Nicole Carson (49)
Renee Graziano (49)
Lauren Lake (49)
Rolonda (59)
Bambi Woods (63)
Brian Grazer (67)
Cheryl Ladd (67)
Christine McVie (75)
Bill Cosby (81)
Charlie Murphy (1959-2017)
Milton Berle (1908-2002)
Oscar Hammerstein II (1895-1960)

Pic: Instagram

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