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Rosie Huntington-Whitely announced that she’s knocked up with Jason Statham’s baby. It looks like Rosie is just having one baby. I know, famous types who aren’t pregnant with at least twins shouldn’t even bother announcing it. Don’t they know that the baby announcement game has changed? Twins or GTFO! – Celebitchy
Goopy Paltrow was asked about Beyonce’s pregnancy and surprisingly, she didn’t say, “Oh yes, my good chums Beyonce and Shawn are expecting twins. I cannot wait to meet my new nieces or nephews!” – Lainey Gossip
Awkward is Kelly Ripa telling everyone that Mark Consuelos is mean to her after fucking – The Superficial
Teresa Giudice paid off the $414k she owed in restitution, so just call her “Restitution Whore!!!” from now on – Reality Tea
Grace Jones’ Slave to the Rhythm >>>>>>>>>> Katy Perry’s Chained to the Rhythm – Towleroad
Michelle Monaghan, who I always mistake for Ruth Wilson (or is it the other way around?), is on Shape Magazine – Hollywood Tuna
Hailey Baldwin took a much-needed vacation from whatever it is that Hailey Baldwin truly does – Drunken Stepfather
Well, at least Victoria Justice’s eyebrow situation doesn’t look a mess – Popoholic
Jamie Lynn Spears’ daughter is out of the hospital – Just Jared
I watched this little moment this morning and it’s the reason why I was drinking at 10am – Popsugar
Winona Ryder’s Many Faces!
And if Winona Ryder’s face found out that it won the title of January’s HSOTM, it would probably bust out facial expressions #1 through #10.
January’s HSOTM contest came down to a battle to the death between Winona Ryder’s Many Faces and middle finger-throwing hero Anita Yavich. Winona’s Many Faces were on Anita’s ass for a minute (yes, I realized what I just typed), and then things flipped around and Winona’s Many Faces ended up on top. Winona’s Many Faces ended up with 39% of the votes and Anita was right behind with 38%. Mariah Carey’s New Year’s Eve Performance got 17% and poor Finish adonis Pete Parkonnen sat in the corner unloved, because he only got 6%.
Winona Ryder’s Many Faces are now going on to the Hot Slut of the Year finals next year. And now I’m going on to track down a 2017 calendar of Winona Ryder’s Many Faces. Although, that calendar only needs one facial expression in it:
Because that’s the face I’ll be making all year long.
Thanks to all who voted!
It’s been over three years since Pope Francis announced that the Catholic church was dissolving all marriages. At the time, Pope Francis said that the sanctity of marriage obviously doesn’t exist if a creep-faced creeper and his teen bride can’t make it. Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison broke up, but a few months later, they proved that true love always prevails and they announced that they were back together. Prepare for the Pope to announce the death of marriage once again. Because at OK! Magazine’s pre-Grammy party last night, Courtney told Entertainment Tonight that she and Doug are as separated as her right tit and left tit. In other words, they’re beyond separated.
22-year-old Courtney and 56-year-old Doug split up two months ago, but they’re still living together. UsWeekly also posted a picture of the pristine dew drop hugging on some dude at OK!’s party.
When Courtney and her make-up-less clown of a husband broke up the first time, it felt one hundred percent real and not at all staged. It also feels real this time and I’m sure they’re not just pretending to be broken up so that Courtney can pitch a dating show to Vh1 called Porn Iguana of Love. And Courtney really should’ve dropped Creepy Doug a long time ago. She’s the Marilyn Monroe, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Jayne Mansfield of our time, so she should be on her third husband by now. At least.
George and Amal Clooney are still LARPing as our generation’s JFK and Jackie. And that means the clock has started on the non-stop baby news. As we know, Amal is pregnant with twins (which is SO in right now). George’s friend Matt Damon is starting to do press for The Great Wall just as the news of the Clooney twins broke. Matt told Entertainment Tonight Canada that he knew about the twins waaaaay before everyone else did, and he almost cried. Probably because he knew the end of the world is upon us now we’ve seen the final sign of the apocalypse (aka the news that George Clooney is going be a father).
Ed Sheeran did an interview with the Brazilian site Capricho and of course that means he talked about Taylor Swift. Ed specifically talked about how Taylor goes to James Bond lengths of crazy to make sure that her songs don’t leak onto the internet. Taylor once said in an interview that she gets paranoid about being wiretapped and secretly recorded (cut to her head popping off over Kim Kartrashian secretly recording her). And apparently, she’s also paranoid about her music leaking. Tay Tay must think that her songs are as precious and valuable as a Collector’s Edition DVD of Showgirls signed by Gina Gershon, the top secret recipe for an Orange Julius and a rubber replica of Jon Hamm’s Hammaconda, because she spends a lot of money to protect them.