Buzzfeed tells me that these are pictures of 100% real firefighters from the New Taipei Fire Department’s 2017 calendar. A rep for the fire department gave Buzzfeed a hilarious statement and I love the way he describes nipple tingling pictures of hot, sweaty, dirty firefighters getting wet and working a hose. They really are protecting citizens, because how can a fire break out when coochie cream is splattering all over the place?
A spokesperson for the fire department told BuzzFeed News the photos aim to show the professionalism, determination, and charm of the firefighters, who are dedicated to protecting citizens and their safety.
These pictures are actually pretty dangerous and I’m sure the rate of daily fraudulent calls will rise by 10,000%. Operators will have to be trained to ask, “Miss, do you mean an actual cat?”, when hard-up whores call about how their pussy needs to be rescued.
Speaking of thirsty bitches, I will be guzzling down anything that’s mind-numbing and nibbling on vodka-infused turkey on Thanksgiving with family in Denver this year. So because I’m spending my Skanksgiving in the land of fully legal weed and Casa Bonita, I’ll be on semi-vacation mode for the rest of the week. Allison will be around. Helping her and me, will be one of our new guest bloggers. Sadly, Penelope didn’t work, but we’ve got Krista to help us. Krista is from Texas and she won points when she attached a headshot to her application and the headshot was a picture of Joan Crawford. Krista may need a minute to get fully comfortable in this smegma gutter we call Dlisted. Krista will also fill in for Allison, who will be out for vacation, next week.
Oh, and did I say I was going to Denver? I’m really flying off to New Taipei where I’ll set my pants on fire in hopes that one of these hot real firefighters puts it out with his hose. What’s the number to 911 there?
Pics: New Taipei Fire Department via Buzzfeed
I know, whoever misspelled #DevilBall2016 as #AngelBall2016 is going to get it.
Kanye West is reportedly still at UCLA Medical Center where he’s under observation after he allegedly cracked for real and ended up being shuffled off by paramedics while handcuffed to a gurney. Kanye was apparently at the gym working out with his trainer and his personal doctor, Dr. Michael Farzam, went there to check on the case of the tireds he’s been suffering from. TMZ says that Dr. Farzam told authorities that his patient (he used the alias “Jim Jones” for Kanye) had temporary psychosis caused by sleep deprivation and dehydration and needed help. Dr. Farzam also claimed that Kanye tried to attack a gym employee.
Dr. Farzam said that he put Kanye on a 5150 hold, but it’s not known if he actually did. Paramedics handcuffed Kanye to a gurney because that’s regular procedure when someone is 5150’d. TMZ is saying that Kanye is under a “psychiatric evaluation,” but People is saying that he’s in the hospital for “sleep deprivation” and is fine. And some of us are shouting that he’s being treated for the Kardashian Kurse and needs a priest to bust an exorcism on his ass.
When Gigi Hadid did her Melania Trump impression at the American Music Awards on Sunday night, I’m sure she thought she’d be immediately offered a hosting gig on SNL. That didn’t happen. Gigi’s janky Euro-ish Melania impression made some people watching think, “That’s racist!“, which in turn made them angry enough to tweet about how not into it they were. Some called for Maybelline to cancel her contract. Gigi doesn’t want people to be mad at her, and she definitely doesn’t want to lose work, so she released a hand-written explanation of her impression to all who were offended.
Anna Faris adopted a Chihuahua named Pete four years ago, and for some reason, she decided she didn’t want the pooch anymore so she found him a new home. Pete either ran away from his new humans or his new humans dumped him on the street, because he was found on Friday in a bad way. TMZ says that Pete was found wandering the streets and was all emaciated. Pete was taken to the vet and when his microchip was ran, Anna’s name and the name of the shelter she adopted him from popped up. The shelter, Kinder4Rescue, is pissed at Anna and slapped her ass with a fine for breach of contract. When Anna adopted Pete, she agreed to pay the $5,000 fine if she ever re-homed him. Most shelters want you to give the dog back to them if it doesn’t work out. This is giving me shades of Ellen DeGeneres’ dog adoption drama…
Jennifer Lawrence hasn’t come straight out and confirmed how official she is with Darren Aronofsky. Instead, JLaw let her publicist do the talking with some “spontaneous” street-kissing pap shots earlier this month. Jennifer promoted her upcoming film Relatable Hotties in Space (aka Passengers) in the holiday issue of Vanity Fair, and the topic of Darren Aronofsky came up. Jennifer’s inner kewl girl probably really wanted to crack a joke about his head not being his only place without hair (wink), or that she loves just chilling out on the couch with an entire stuffed-crust pizza and watching Requiem for a Dream with him. But privacy-loving Jennifer decided to keep it extremely vague and non-committal. She doesn’t say a whole lot.
Joe Chandler, the man from Georgia who claims that he’s blissfully going through life without knowing who won the election.
Here I was thinking that every living thing in this country knows how the election went. My Chihuahua has been digging more holes than usual in the backyard, so I’m guessing he’s trying to get the hell out of this bitch. I told him not to bother straining his paws by digging. He’s Mexican, so his ass is leaving this bitch in La Migra’s paddy wagon. But apparently, there’s one living thing in this country who claims that the news of the election haven’t penetrated his brain yet.