The physical manifestation of a wink from a drunk at a bar, James Franco, and his brother Dave Franco, were scheduled to give a talk tonight in association with The New York Times about their new film The Disaster Artist. But James and Dave’s TimesTalk isn’t happening, and it’s not because James is still fighting with Tommy Wiseau over control of the mic.
BBC reporter, Alex Dunlop who stayed in reporter mode while getting jumped by a conspiracy of lemurs.
“Conspiracy of lemurs” isn’t only the name of an espionage thriller about spy lemurs that I plan to pitch to the networks, it’s also the name for a group of lemurs. That’s fitting for this post since it’s about a conspiracy of lemurs who conspired to take down Alex Dunlop. While reporting from Banham Zoo in Norfolk, England, Alex Dunlop decided to give his report around lemurs while holding food in his fist. The thing about having food in your hands while around a bunch of animals is that they will step on your face to get to it. That’s what happened to Alex. Those lemurs were the tax man and that food was the last coins in my checking account. (Can you tell that I’m in the middle of putting my 2017 taxes together?)
Alex kept on kept on reporting as he died a slow death by lemur suffocation. And as those lemurs gnawed their way to murdering him, Alex continued to report like the brave journalist he is!
But seriously, those lemurs did it all wrong. Half of them should have hypnotized Alex with their dance moves while the other half stealthily stole his food. Somebody show them the documentary Madagascar.
Pic: BBC via YouTube
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Because personal social media accounts are for peasants, Meghan Markle has deleted her Instagram and Twitter. Two things: 1. What am I going to do with my time now that I can no longer spam Meghan’s IG posts with the hammer emoji (for taking one to my imaginary home with Prince Hot Ginge). And 2. How is Meghan’s shameless half-sister going to hit her up for a loan now? Meghan is so selfish! – Just Jared
The Alien Lizard King is starring in a Showtime show called Patrick Melrose and there’s a trailer for it. Sadly it has nothing to do with Melrose Place. Not watching. – Lainey Gossip
The BAFTA nominations were announced today, and I am outraged. How in the hell did Hugh Grant get nominated for Paddington 2 when it’s obvious Paddington gave the better performance in that movie (which I didn’t see)?! – Celebitchy
Yolanda Hadid has a new “King” in her life, and not much is known about him, but it’s safe to assume that he shits money and loves lemons – Reality Tea
People reports 57-year-old Hugh Grant is going to be a dad for the fifth time. Hugh’s latest kid will be his third with his 35-year-old girlfriend and Swedish television producer Anna Eberstein. The two already have a two-year-old daughter and a five-year-old son. BUT…it’s not as simple as that.
In case you forget, Hugh had a “fleeting affair” with Tinglan Hong. They had a daughter in 2011, but Hugh and Tinglan didn’t pan out. Hugh met Anna, and had their son in 2012. He then got together again with Tinglan (everyone loves a throwback!) in 2013 and had another son. He went back with Anna and then had their now-two-year-old. And now comes baby number five.
The new pregnancy was basically confirmed when Anna and Hugh were spotted in the airport in New York, and there was a baby bump peeking through her coat. You can kinda tell she has one in the photo of them together above at the Golden Globes, probably the best night to hide a pregnancy since everyone was in black and had better things to focus on than mani-cams and “baby bumps.” Her mother apparently blabbed to a Swedish magazine, “She’s due rather soon.” Let’s hope it’s another girl! There aren’t enough lady Grants in the world who can wear Godmummy Elizabeth Hurley’s safety pin dress into child army battle!
See, this is what happens when an American commoner is allowed into the British royal family. She
single-handedly single-bunedly rocks the monarchy as we know it with her sloppy hair!
Meghan Markle and Prince Hot Ginge were back at work today in Brixton, where she continued to do her main job: keep the coat industry alive by wearing a coat everyone will buy. Meghan and PHG also visited Reprezent Radio, a station for youngins’ by youngins’. Surprisingly, the main talk isn’t about Meghan’s coat or even her slight British accent, it’s all about her MESSY BUN!