Melissa McCarthy is hosting Saturday Night Live for the fifth time tomorrow night, and it looks like she’s bringing her too-perfect impression of White House hide-and-seek enthusiast Sean Spicer. Melissa as Spicey was seen rolling down 59th Street in NYC earlier today on a motorized press podium. I can’t believe nobody tried to hop on the back of that thing and ask how much it would cost to go to LaGuardia.
— Sherrilyn Ifill (@Sifill_LDF) May 12, 2017
That’s a surprising amount of road rage coming from Spicey (I expected much more, to be honest). He definitely seems like the type who would steer with his knees just so he could keep one hand free to flip off drivers and the other hand for shoving gum in his mouth.
NBC News doesn’t know what Melissa was doing out there on the street, but they made the obvious assumption it’s probably for a sketch. I wonder if when they were done, Melissa decided to have a couple laughs by staying in costume as Sean Spicer and taking the shoutmobile down to Trump Tower to freak out Melania Trump. No, that would almost be too mean. Melania would lose it if she saw a member of the White House staff cruising up to her penthouse. “Oh nooooo, don’t tell me they’re moving the White House to New York. Shit shit shit. Maybe if I lock the door and duck behind the couch, they won’t think I’m home.”
Steve Harvey’s staff learned in a memo that went out this week that the next time they try to talk to him at work without making an appointment, his security guards will banish their asses away from his presence. Steve’s talk show is moving to L.A. from Chicago and he threw down some new rules, like not bothering him in the hallways or his dressing room or his makeup chair or anywhere else. The memo was probably leaked by a Chicago staff member who was pissed that Steve’s not taking them to L.A. Entertainment Tonight’s Kevin Frazier talked to Steve over the phone about the memo. Like the concept of Asian men being fuckable, Steve Harvey can’t grasp why his letter went everywhere, but he’s not sorry about it. Because whenever he was in his dressing room, he felt like he needed to put on prison stripes and fight a rat for a piece of stale bread. Poor Steve felt like a prisoner in his own dressing room.
Angelina Jolie and her daddy Jon Voight have had a messy on-again off-again relationship for so long, that I’m never really sure where they’re at at any given time. Remember how Papa Jon found out about Angie’s 2014 wedding like the rest of us, aka through the press? Naturally I just figured she was still sending most of his calls directly to voicemail. However, it looks like Angelina decided to do some charity work this week.
E! News says that on Wednesday night, Angelina was seen leaving a sushi restaurant in Beverly Hills with Jon Voight. Because nothing says “We honestly don’t hate each other!” like hanging out with one of Brad Pitt’s biggest fans.
— E! News (@enews) May 11, 2017
They were also joined by Zahara, Pax, Vivienne, and Knox. Or as Jon knows them: Shakira, Backpack, Vaseline, and Socks.
Earlier in the week, at the King Arthur premiere in Los Angeles, Jon Voight told E! News that “Angie’s doing good.” Okay Jon, if you want to keep getting invited to sushi dinners with the inner circle, you might want to cool it with any more comments. Angelina and Brad have worked very hard on their post-split image of being all Zen-like and down-to-earth, and Angelina really doesn’t need any conflicting statements coming from her blabbermouth daddy. I know Angelina and Jon were getting sushi, but were they really? Or did Don Angelina and her crew bring Jon to the sushi restaurant to deliver a message that unless he wants to sleep with the fishes, he should stick to the script. “Good? Excuse me, I’m doing better than I have in years. Get it straight.”
American Idol: Does Anybody Want This? is rolling full-steam ahead. They reportedly have grinning cereal box mascot Ryan Seacrest returning to host. They tried to get Idol winner Kelly Clarkson as a judge, but lost her to a spinning red chair. Apparently they have tried to get Simon Cowell as well. Simon was asked by his former girlfriend Terri Seymour yesterday on Extra if he’s going to be on the new Idol. To borrow from his pal Randy Jackson, it was a no from him, dawg. Simon is happy remembering the glory days of Idol and doesn’t want to be part of the new one.
“I was asked to do it, and the answer is no. I have no interest. My memories are when we first started. It was a different time with Randy [Jackson], Ryan [Seacrest] and Paula [Abdul]. You can’t recreate that. Last time I watched, it was not the same show, just the same name. I left for a reason and I never regretted that.”
First Kelly turns Idol down, now Simon. The good news is that if producers run out of potential judge options by audition time, they’ve got the perfect temporary substitutes. The auditions for New Idol will be held at Disney World; all they have to do is just grab a couple animatronics from the Carousel of Progress and program them to say stuff like “Wow, I’ve got chills” and “It’s a no.” Plus, they’ll work for batteries, and they’ll get along great with fellow robot Ryan Seacrest.
Slavko Kalezić, the ponytailed nightingale from Montenegro whose talent, glamour, sex and ponytail whipping skills were too powerful even for Eurovision to take!
The annual showdown of rhinestone-encrusted musical magnificence known as Eurovision will come to a close this weekend when a winner is crowned during the grand finals in Kiev, Ukraine. The Eurovision semi-finals were this week and one stunningly gorgeous Montenegrin yodeler caused hos to fall back when he whipped his ponytail around while performing his country’s official entry Space. Slavko Kalezić is a young Hugo Weaving-looking ass pillar of glamour who is also a singer and actor in Montenegro and he should’ve been the one wearing the grand finale crown in the end. But his country got kicked out of the competition in the first semi-final on Tuesday. Slavko (more like SLAYko) may have lost the title of Eurovision winner, but he won the hearts of those of us who appreciate pucker-inducing showmanship and a sturdy clip-on braid.
Rami Malek (36)
Malcolm David Kelly (25)
Emily VanCamp (31)
Domhnall Gleeson (34)
Aaron Yoo (38)
Malin Ackerman (39)
Jason Biggs (39)
Mackenzie Astin (44)
Christian Campbell (45)
Jamie Luner (46)
Samantha Mathis (47)
Kim Fields (48)
Tony Hawk (49)
Catherine Tate (49)
Stephen Baldwin (51)
Deborah Kara Unger (51)
Carla Hall (53)
Vanessa A. Williams (54)
Emilio Estevez (55)
Ving Rhames (58)
Eric Singer (59)
Gabriel Byrne (67)
Billy Squier (67)
Steve Winwood (69)
Linda Dano (74)
Burt Bacharach (89)
George Carlin (1937-2008)
Mary Kay (1918-2001)
Katharine Hepburn (1907-2003)
Florence Nightingale (1820-1910)