As if tearing families apart and ruining orange juice and therefore ruining mimosas (an unforgivable sin) weren’t bad enough, Donald Trump is also responsible for emboldening any asshole with name recognition and a couple of million dollars burning a hole in their pocket, to think they have a shot at becoming President Of The United States. Former championship boxer Oscar De La Hoya is the latest political dilettante to think he should be President, and according to TMZ, he’s launching an exploratory team to test the waters.
If you’re into home repair, brunettes, and thick Canadian accents, Drew and Jonathan Scott (Jonathan’s on the left in what appears to be some kind of goth camo tuxedo) are probably hot to you. Drew and Jonathan are suitable hunks for HGTV, but what about primetime? Well, Drew appeared on the 25th season of Dancing with the Stars, and now we’re learning that Jonathan has been courted not once, but possibly four times for The Bachelor.
Cardi B‘s review of throwing a shoe at Nicki Minaj is in and it reads: “10/10 would definitely recommend to a friend and will purchase again.”
This Cardi B Vs. Nicki Minaj rumble at the Harper’s Bazaar ICONS Party is the messy gift that keeps on giving. Cardi already said that the brawl happened because Nicki talked shit about her daughter Kulture and her mothering skills. Nicki talked about it yesterday on her Queen Radio show saying she was “mortified” and “humiliated” by the whole scenario, going as far as suggesting that Cardi B might end up dying from picking a fight with the wrong person. She thinks the whole scene was unnecessary and inelegant (you cannot brawl in an Alexandre Vauthier gown, okay dahling?) but Our Stripper Queen of The Bronx, Cardi B, is rapping a different tune.
I know that we all thought Kim Kardashian was a portrait of body positivity, especially after she reminded us how extremely happy, elated and thoroughly tickled pink she was to be a minuscule 120 pounds. Well slap on your surprised face because you are in for a turnaround!
Les Moonves is out as CEO and chairman of CBS, and I’m sure anyone who has ever experienced any degree of Les’s alleged workplace grossness (and possibly also Janet Jackson) thought, “Terrific – I do hope someone lets the door hit your ass on the way out.” Sadly, that door might not be making contact with Les’s backside any time soon. According to NBC News, CBS is keeping Les around as an “advisor.”
“Robitussin jizz” is a phrase I say during this episode, so yeah, this one deep dives into the gutter. But don’t they all? Before I brain burp up about Pfizer-produced spunk, Allison and I talk about the Harper’s Brawl-zaar between Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, the dark underworld of the tiger keeper game, EGOTs, the possible end of the $5 footlong, and more lies told by Kim Kardashian. We end by saying a prayer to the Gods to bring back our favorite food things from the 90s. Here our prayers, Gods!
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