Ja Rule is truly fighting for the title of Most Delusional Human Being, but with serious competition like The Kardashians and Kanye West in the ring, he’s got to keep on the top of his delusion game. And he is serving it up steaming for us via a delusional formerly-famous person’s favorite interview spot: an impromptu TMZ airport interview.
I have to give Tommy Lee props here. The 56-year old rocker ended up marrying a 32-year-old woman. That is way older than I thought he’d go for. Clearly Tommy is far more mature than say, a Leonardo Di Caprio-type who doesn’t start dating anyone above the age of 25. …Maybe famous men are evolving!
Roper and Cricket, the down-low cowcorgi and the one-eyed miniature pony who were caught in a late-night secret rendezvous.
A story about a corgi sneaking out of his home to ride a one-eyed pony down the way might sound like some interspecies porn, but this is a G-rated story of down-low friendship, you sick bitch. Who knows how long the secret love between Roper and Cricket has been going on, but one night, a human named Callie Schenker returned to her farm in Missouri and caught them in the act. When my mom once went into the garage and caught the neighbor dude riding me, she ran out and screamed for us to get out of there (no, that didn’t happen, or did it?). But Callie immediately pulled out her phone and got video proof of a corgi riding her pony.
Zachary Gordon (21)
Maddie Baillio (23)
Greer Grammer (27)
Amber Riley (33)
Jenna Morasca (38)
Conor Oberst (39)
Brandon Boyd (43)
Miranda July (45)
Sarah Wynter (46)
Renee O’Connor (48)
Jane Child (52)
Michael Easton (52)
Christopher McDonald (64)
Matt Groening (65)
Jane Seymour (68)
Melissa Manchester (68)
Marisa Berenson (72)
Chris Farley (1964-1997)
Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)
Galileo Galilei (1564-1642)
February 15 is one of the greatest days of the year. It’s when Valentine’s Day candy is 50% off! After Allison and I talk about Red Friday and our thrilling Valentine’s Day plans, we score our Grammy predictions (SPOILER ALERT: we suck at predicting) before diving into a pool of foolery by talking about Thomas Markle winning Father of 2019, Ellen Page calling out the anti-LGBTQ views of Chris Pratt’s church, and Dina Lohan getting catfished. We also quickly talk about Miranda Lambert tossing salad in public, Lady Gaga splitting with her fiancé, the Fiji Water vs. The Fiji Water Girl legal battle, and the sad news about House Hunters going narrator-less.
We also answer advice questions about introducing porn-watching to a relationship, and if tiny hands equal a tiny peen. I think we both earned our PhD in anatomy with the answers we give about the second one.
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Prince Hot Ginge and Duchess Meghan spent Valentine’s Day apart, because duty calls and duty involved him visiting North Norway as Captain General of the Royal Marines (Wait, so all I have to do is join something called the Royal Marines and I get to call PHG “sir” as he orders me to get down on my knees and give him twenty? Where do I send my LinkedIn link?) Because it was VD and he was away from his wife, the soldiers decorated a little snow house with candles and his wedding pictures. Whatever, this is so staged. It’s obvious he wasn’t in Norway. He’s in some sound stage in London and that little house isn’t made of snow, it’s made of some kind of fire resistant material. Because real snow would immediately melt after being hit with the rays of heat shooting off of PHG’s crotch. Those shameless royals! – Lainey Gossip
What in trick-AND-treat bukkake foolery is going on in this Bella Thorne video? – Drunken Stepfather
Hulu is trying it, but not sure if it can reach the disturbing levels of “I need a few showers in boiling holy water” that were reached in HBO’s documentary about the murder of Dee Dee Blanchard – Pajiba