I know we joke a lot about Justin Bieber living his life like an unsupervised child with a checking account, but this latest stunt is straight out of elementary school. Back in May 2016, an indie artist named Casey Dienel accused Justin and Skrillex of jacking a sample from her song Ring The Bell and using it without permission in the opening of Sorry. TMZ says that Justin Bieber was scheduled to attend a deposition last week to give his testimony about that. We all know how seriously Justin Bieber takes depositions (not very). But this time he couldn’t even be bothered to show up. He called in sick. Coincidentally, I believe most people are sick to death of his bullshit. But Casey Dienel’s lawyers think he was faking and they’ve got receipts.
The Monopoly Thimble!
The Monopoly Iron better make room in its suite at Countryside Acres (Yes, yes, I know I’m mixing up my board games) for a new roommate, because another O.G. game piece has been forced into retirement. Four years ago, Monopoly took out the Iron (aka the game piece nobody wanted to be) and replaced it with Hazel the Cat. Hasbro has been slowly getting rid of the original pieces from the 1930s to make way for shiny, new bitches, and the Thimble is the latest one to get tossed. The Top Hat, Shoe and Battleship better hope they have enough money in their 401k, because they’re next!
Lou Diamond Phillips (55)
Sasha Pieterse (21)
Ed Sheeran (26)
Bonnie Wright (26)
Chord Overstreet (28)
Daphne Oz (31)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (36)
Paris Hilton (36)
Jason Ritter (37)
Ashton Holmes (39)
Kelly Carlson (41)
Jerry O’Connell (43)
Bryan White (43)
Billie Joe Armstrong (45)
Taylor Hawkins (45)
Denise Richards (46)
Dominic Purcell (47)
Tuesday Knight (48)
Chante Moore (50)
Michael Bay (52)
Michael Jordan (54)
Larry the Cable Guy (54)
Loreena McKennitt (60)
Rene Russo (63)
Brenda Fricker (72)
Vicente Fernandez (77)
Dame Edna Everage (Barry Humphries) (83)
Hal Holbrook (92)
The cast of Love Actually reunited to shoot a short sequel that will be part of Comic Relief’s Red Nose Day special. Great, so now during Christmastimes, not only will my sister make me watch Love Actually, but she’ll make me watch the short sequel too. Remind me to bring an extra bottle of booze and a bigger stash of weed to Christmas dinner this year – Lainey Gossip
Allure really Photoshopped the hell out of Kellyanne Conway – Celebitchy
Kids are naturally on drugs, so this product is a scam! – Pajiba
Lindsay Lohan posted a Mother Teresa quote and part of it reads, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” Trick, save it for your Backpage ad – Drunken Stepfather
Johnny Depp wants to do Daisy Ridley and Daisy Ridley is not in the mood to get gingivitis of the cooch – The Superficial
Kim Kartrashian’s knipples are back on the stroll – The Nip Slip
Colton Haynes got himself a florist daddy – Towleroad
What the hell kind of “go go dancer nurse from the future” shit is Hailey Baldwin wearing? – Popoholic
Here’s more of Christie Brinkley putting the youngins’ to shame in Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition – Hollywood Tuna
Sonja Morgan wishes that the cast of Real Housewives of New York City would do the show sober. Over every Bravo executive’s dead body! – Reality Tea
Mimi performed live for the first time since her legendary New Year’s Eve train wreck of a performance. And besides her chichi trying to make a break for it, it went fine – OMG Blog
Val Kilmer is back to tell everyone that he’s not sick for the 4,570th time – SOW
If you’ve got a stuck fart in your ass and need some inspiration to poot it out, read this post about Rob Kartrashian and Blac Chyna breaking up again – Just Jared
Roman Polanski pleaded no contest to raping and drugging a 13-year-old girl in 1977, and the story goes that he struck a plea bargain with prosecutors that would require him to serve only 48 days in prison. Yes, only 48 days for anally raping a child. Subway Jared wishes.
Roman’s lawyers claim that the judge in the case, Judge Laurence Rittenband, signed off on that deal. Roman served 42 days, and when he got out of the clink in Chino, CA, he learned that Judge Laurence’s mind had changed. Judge Laurence told prosecutors that he wanted Roman to serve 50 years in prison. PedoBear’s second favorite director, after Woody Allen, didn’t want to spend most of his life in prison, so a day before sentencing in 1978, he busted out of the U.S. and headed for Europe.
He was living free in Europe until 2009, when he was arrested in Switzerland and lived under house arrest for almost a year while fighting extradition to the U.S. The Swiss government eventually rejected the U.S.’s extradition request and set him free. And now Roman is sick of being a fugitive and wants to come back to the U.S. to prove that the late Judge Lawrence wronged him. I hope you keep a box of Kleenex on your desk, because I’m sure you’ll need to wipe that tear that trickled down your cheek after reading about the woe of being poor Roman Polanski.
Bijou Phillips is currently not doing so well, health-wise. TMZ says that Danny Masterson’s wife was rushed to a Santa Barbara hospital last night after feeling sick and having a high fever. When she got to the hospital, Bijou was diagnosed with a blood infection, and that’s when a doctor informed her she needed a kidney transplant. Bijou’s rep tells TMZ that Bijou has been dealing with kidney disease for the past 5 years. Apparently she was born with small kidneys, and she tried to control it with a vegan diet. When that didn’t work, she resorted to dialysis.
New kidneys usually come from a relative. But in Bijou’s case, that might not be the best idea, since some Phillips kidneys come with more mileage on them than others. Thankfully she’s got a friend who is a kidney match. Bijou’s rep says she’s “optimistic” she’ll have a transplant soon. TMZ says that Bijou is currently in stable condition, but she needs that new kidney. Danny Masterson is reportedly in the hospital with her.
Bijou and her husband Danny are Scientologists, and Scientology apparently leaves organ donation up to the person, but they believe there “may be spiritual repercussions” that “require more auditing.” So Bijou will really end up paying a lot for that new kidney since auditing ain’t cheap. Actually, that’s how insurance companies should approach organ transplants from now on. “Yes that new gall bladder is going to cost a lot of money. But to put things into perspective, it’s actually much less than you’d end up paying if you were a Scientologist.”