The Photoshop Awards: The “Over Her Dead Body” Poster

Michael K / December 20, 2007

Obviously Eva Longoria Parker (that name is gross) didn’t bother showing up when they shot the poster for her new movie “Over Her Dead Body.” They just took her head from whatever photo shoot and put it on some random model’s body. Shit, that might just be a CGI body.

Even though the poster is God awful, the trailer is worse. This movie should’ve been made in the 80s with Shelley Long, Goldie Hawn and Steven Guttenberg.

Eva as a ghost haunting the new girlfriend of her former fiancee? They already did this in the damn 1940s! It’s called Blithe Spirit.

Click here if you’re having trouble with the video

Poster source: Coming Soon

Tags: Eva LongWHORIA, Photoshop Awards

Seriously, Any Ho Can Get Knocked Up These Days!

Michael K / December 20, 2007

American Idol skank loser, Jessica Sierra, is knocked up in the clink. Can I have her life? Sources tell TMZ the father is a "rapper." I'm sure it could be one of several rappers, because I'd be surprised if Jessica knew who the baby daddy was. She better book her appearance on Maury now.

Jessica not only has a baby to look forward to, but also a sex tape. Jessica's tape is supposed to be released next month.

She's currently in the slammer on two misdemeanor charges of disorderly intoxication and obstructing or opposing an officer and two felony counts of possession of cocaine and battery. She infamously told one of the cops upon her arrest that she would "suck his dick" if he let her go.

That baby is probably praying for a miracle, because his or her life is already planned out. Its life will consist of waking mommy from a drunken sleep, making mommy a cocktail, calling 911 when mommy's boyfriend of the week gets too rowdy and holding mommy's hair while she vomits up her 10th can of Ballantine.

Sad.

Tags: Buying Children, Crackheads, Hookers, Knocked Up, Reality TV, Sex Tapes, Trash

Not That Awful

Michael K / December 20, 2007

Here at Dlisted I get a lot of hate mail. It's understandable and I accept it with open arms. Usually people bitch and moan about how they think I'm so mean and blah…blah…blah.. They say shit like (Ok, for this next part read in that whiny and annoying voice you use when making fun of people) "Oh Michael, why are you so mean? You are so bitter! What did those people ever do to you? Kill yourself already! Take the stick out of your ass!"

Yes I'm bitter, yes I'm a bad person and yes I have a stick in my ass, but that's for medical reasons. If I take it out, my ass will fall off and then I won't be able to sit in a chair which means I won't be able to write this blog. Yes, I can write it from a bed, but my mother told me if you put a laptop on your lap too much it could fry your balls off and then where would my social life be?

ANYWAYS….I'm rambling. Take note, because I'm about to say something nice about Jenna Jameson.

She doesn't look as awful as she normally does. THERE! I said something nice!

Here's Jenna at the Toy Drive & Green Carpet Party last night at LAX. Toy Drive? I hope there weren't children there or else Jenna would've scared them off, because she looks like the Grinch. Ugh, I just fucked up didn't I? People are right about me.