Brit Brit Spears, because bitch is heading to the crazy house and needs a little pick me-up that doesn't come in powder form

 

 

Smile honey! You're going to the crazy house. Police, ambulances, the FBI, the President, everyone was called to Brit's house last night for some sort of "custody dispute" with KFed. Bitch didn't let him have the kids back and it took them three hours to figure it out. Well, it ended with Brit being taken away in the ambulance. Brit was obviously under the influence of something. The cops said some "unknown substance." Since when is meth unknown? She's currently being "evaluated" at Cedars-Sinai. 

 

And yes I was a sleeping. I bitch needs his beauty sleep. Even fucking Britney can wait. Nobody fucks with my sleep.

 

Image: JFXOnline

 

 

 

 

Katie Holmes is trying to get knocked up again, but is having some trouble. Hmmm…what's an alien to do? Now Magazine reports that Katie and Tom Cruise sought medical help to try and cure this dilemma. They want a little son for Suri, but Katie isn't producing.

 

A source said, "She's really upset about it. The one thing she wants more than anything is a son for Tom. She says they've been trying since the summer, but it just hasn't happened for them yet. Katie and Tom sat down and had a heart-to-heart and decided it might be worth her going to see the doctor to get checked out." 

 

Awwww…poor Katie. Somebody really needs to sit her down, pour her a cup of Chamomile and gently break the news to her that babies don't come from storks. She's probably sitting by the window every single day waiting for her delivery. I mean that's where Tommy Girl said Suri came from, so what's Katie supposed to think?

 

I mean if she reaaaaally want a baby she could try having sex with Tommy? Yeah, I doubt she knows what sex is and don't mention that suggestion around Tommy unless you want a high-pitched "EWWWWWWW" deafening your ears.  

 

 

Image: Wenn

 

 

 

 

 

Disney slut, Vanessa Hudgens, is in Seventeen Magazine where she discussed those pictures of her hairy bush that "leaked" onto the internet. She blabs on and on about how she was ashamed and shit. Ugh. I hate it when sluts get weak. Suck the dick and then suck it up. Damn. Stop crying over spilled cum.

 

Vanessa said, “It was very traumatic, and I am extremely upset it happened. I hope all my fans can learn from my mistake and make smart decisions. But I wouldn’t have been able to get through it if it wasn’t for my family, friends and fans, who supported me all along the way.”

 

“I tell girls all the time: ‘Don’t post your private business for the world to see!’” she said. “You just have to be careful.” That's the funniest part. Bitch claims it wasn't some publicity stunt. Come on! She acts like she's so shocked. I'm going to laugh when this girl is doing Playboy in like 2 years. It's going to happen.  

 

Vanessa also talked about her main girl, Zac Efron. She said, “It’s hard when you have a good-looking boyfriend. You want your man to be your man. You don’t want all these girls up on him and stuff like that.”

 

This bitch should take her comedy act on the road. A man to be your man? Has she looked at her man? Girl, your dude is a lady. A lady dude!

 

“He always makes me happy. He literally knows exactly what to do to make me laugh." Gays have a tendency to do that. We're funny sometimes.

 

Oh that Vanessa! She's a riot and I think I like her now. I can trim her hairy bush down while she tells jokes.

 

 

 

Reese Witherspoon is currently shooting "Four Christmases" with Vince Vaughn and the two aren't getting along. There's drama crap on the set and the latest drama involves a scripted sex scene. Reese doesn't want to do it. 

 

A source told PageSix.com , "Reese has an issue with the scripted love scene. Reese is such a prude, she thinks it's just too much."

 

This shit is about a couple that try to visit all four of their divorced parents during the holidays.

 

I'm guessing Reese is making in the neighborhood of $15 – $20 million for this little project. Bitch needs to take some Tums, have a glass of wine and handle business. Shit, I'd have REAL sex with Vince for $1 million easy.

 

Look at that big hunk of Almond Joy. How could you not want that? And will Vince Vaughn please stop making movies about Christmas. He's ruining the holidays!

 

Image: TMZ