Tommy Girl Loves The Ladies

/ January 10, 2008

In Andrew Morton’s new book on Tom Cruise he claims that Tommy is not gay even though there’s been rumors throughout his entire career. Morton writes that Tommy screwed tons of chicks in high school and was labeled a “womanizer.

Morton also spoke to one of Tommy’s ex-girlfriends, actress Melissa Gilbert (yes, that one). They dated when he was just 19. She said, “I can honestly say he’s a very sexual person. There was a lot of making out on the couch in my mom’s living room.”

Another one of his girlfriends told Morton that Tommy is homophobic. She went with him to see the drag musical La Cage Aux Folles. She said, “Men dressed as women, he couldn’t handle it. We had to leave before the intermission. It really bothered him. He was definitely homophobic.”

Um…..it bothered him because that shit was turning him on. He probably couldn’t hide his raging boner. He wanted to go home and put on silky pink panties and strut his shit. Besides most closet cases pretend to be homophobic.

I’m torn about Tommy being extremely homosexual. Part of me just thinks he doesn’t have sex with anybody. Xenu has killed his sex drive. Xenu is a major cock blocker.

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Bitch Is Thirsty

/ January 10, 2008

InTouch claims Madge drops around $10,000 a month on Kabbalahbablaaah water. That shit is $5 a pop. A source said Madonna won’t let any other kind of water touch her precious lips. The source said, “Madonna drinks a lot of water – that’s one of her fitness secrets. And Kabbalah water is the only stuff she will touch. She also makes sure she always has some to hand, and has it regularly shipped to wherever in the world she is staying at the time.”

Some leaders of Kabbalah reportedly think the water can cure disease. It obviously doesn’t cure fug, because Madonna still suffers from that.

Somebody please tell Madonna to save her pennies. She can make Kabbalah water at home herself. It’s one part tap and two parts bullshit.

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Go Ricki! Go Ricki!

/ January 10, 2008

Yesterday I was watching Ricki Lake on some talk show promoting that baby documentary she made and I couldn’t get the chant her talk show audience would yell before, during and after her old show. “Go Ricki! Go Ricki! Go Go Go Ricki!” Ugh. Anyway, here’s Ricki with Keri Russell looking hot at the NYC premiere of “The Business of Being Born.” The movie’s about birth, insurance companies and boring stuff like that. Ricki also shows herself giving birth. I’m sorry I do not want to see grossness coming out of Tracy Turnblad.

Images: Wenn

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