In his new tell-all on Tom Cruise, Andrew Morton claims that Katie Holmes had to sign a contract committing her to Scientology. The contract states that “Scientologists have full control over her life.” It also states that she will only use Scientology treatments and “must never use psychiatric care or psychiatric drugs.”

Katie’s father, Martin the lawyer, also negotiated a pre-nup that would give Katie $3 million for every year she was married to Tommy Girl.

Tommy’s rep denies the claims and said Katie has never signed any sort of contract.

$3 million a year might sound like a lot of money, but not when you have to sell your soul to the alien cause. Yes, I’d probably do it for a bucket of KFC, but it’s KFC! That shit is delicious even if it’s made with rats. I mean…..Katie might have made that much money on her own.

I guarantee you they will be divorced before their 10th anniversary just like Nicole.

Source: UsWeekly

The story you are about to read has nothing to do with Angelina Jolie and her creepy brother, but I couldn’t find a picture of the brother and sister in the story. This picture felt fitting.

Twins that were separated at birth married each other not knowing they were brother and sister. They were adopted to different families and only found out they were related after they got married. The names of the twins and how they met have been kept secret. A High Court judge in Britain has agreed to annul the marriage.

This case has brought up the issue of adopted children knowing their complete history. Lord David Alton said, “They were never told they were twins. They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of their marriage that they entered into, and all the issues of their separation. The right for children to know the identity of their biological parents is a human right. There will be more cases like this if children are not given access to the truth. The needs of the child must always be paramount.”

I’m sure they wish they never found out. What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Well, unless they had babies and they came out having three eyes and shit. I wonder if they looked alike at all? Maybe that’s why they wanted to do each other. Egotistical!

Adopted bitches should totally have a right to know if they have brothers or sisters at least. This kind of sad shit shouldn’t happen again. Think about it. You found your soulmate only to find out you both came out of the same vagina. It kind of kills the romance.

Source

Thanks Donna

Janice Dickinson went on “Red Eye” this week and claimed Sylvester Stallone regularly used steroids and even injected her with it. She said, “He juiced me. I’d wake up and my arm was as big as Popeye – steroids, testosterone, all that stuff that people say [mimicking Stallone voice], ‘Hey, it’s not that good ’cause you get really big, you know what I mean?’ “

Page Six asked Sly’s rep about it who said bitch was lying. “Janice Dickinson lied about the origin of her child, and she’s lying about this.” He said she was a publicity hound who will say anything for attention.

True, but I believe it. It also looks like they are still using roids. The both of them. They look like they inject that stuff into their ugly ass faces. They are two injections away from looking like Eric Stoltz in Mask.

Leave it to the Daily Mail. They posted these pics of Helena Bonham Carter’s lovely teeth and stache at the Sweeney Todd premiere yesterday in London. In her defense I think the shadow is making her stache look extra stachier. Yes, I made up that word.

It’s just a little dick cheese on the teeth. There’s nothing wrong with that. She probably blew Tim Burton in the car and his cheese is all over her teeth. He’s got major Pepperidge Farm dick. Wash yourself Tim! Oh nevermind that. Looks like Helena has already washed it for you.

Thanks Bananas

Last night was the premiere of “Celebrity Rehab” on Vh1. That shit was depressing as hell. First of all, Jeff Conaway is a royal fucking mess. I felt like I was on drugs just watching him. I need rehab from watching his display. He is a hardcore addict and I felt his pain. Jeff showed up to Dr. Drew’s clinic already high on $1,000 worth of prescription pills. Later in the episode he had some sort of seizure and is rushed to the hospital. That’s the real shit right there.

Jeff wasn’t the only “celebrity” to show up loaded. Porn star and future President of the United States, Mary Carey, showed up drunk and baring gifts. Mary brought her dildos, porn videos and strap-ons. Bitch wanted to fuck the dude from CrazyTown, but they took away all her toys. No dildos, booze, drugs or sex in rehab. Damn, that’s harsh.

The rest of the cast included Chyna, Gitte, the little girl from Family Matters, Daniel Baldwin and Jessica Sierra. We all know what happened to her ass.

This show is going to get interesting. Honestly, I’m only tuning in to see Dr. Drew’s hot ass each week. Well, that and Mary Carey trying to do her best Mariah Carey impersonation. She sort of looks like her!

Adrian Grenier has the best pick-up lines – IDLYITW

Jessica Alba’s breasts are growing – Egotastic!

Kristin Cavallari will post with anything (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Asshole Simpson is not looking hot in her bikini – Hollywood Tuna

Orlando Bloom makes us say awww – Popsugar

Vanessa Hudgens joins the mafia – Just Jared

Nicole Richie could pop any day now – Hollywood Rag

Drew Barrymore gets caught in a bar fight – A Socialite’s Life

Tom Hanks is hot – Cityrag

Beyonce isn’t looking so fresh – Crunk + Disorderly