Who Won America’s Next Top Model?

/ December 7, 2006

Last night was the finale to one of the worst America’s Next Top Model seasons ever. Caridee, Eugena and Melrose all entered into the final 3. Eugena was eliminated leaving Melrose and Caridee to battle it out on one of the most retarded fashion shows in history. It looked like a backyard fashion show with outfits provided by the local costume shop. They were ghosts in like some castle and honestly my third grade Christmas pageant had higher production values.

In the end Tyra Banks and her 50-pound wig had to pick between the girl with the awful runway walk and BEAAAAAAATTIIIFFFUUUUUL photographs (Caridee) or the girl that wants it so bad, but may not have it (Melrose.) Needless to say, Caridee won out.

Finally a natural blonde won, but I think the audience lost in the end…cause that shit sucked!

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He Really Loves the Bones

/ December 7, 2006

Us Weekly is reporting that Joel Madden is now dating Nicole Richie. Joel recently broke it off with another skinny bone jones, Hilary Duff. The two were spotted last week at Teddy’s in Hollywood. They were hugging and dancing and laughing…blah…blah..blah

They continued the next night when they were spotted with Joel’s brother, Benji Madden, and his girlfriend. The brothers double dated at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles.

Hilary now Nicole? He has a small peen. Seriously, that’s what my two cents. He needs to get with chicks that make his wang look bigger. A small dick next to Hil and Nicole probably looks huge.

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Dakota Fanning in January’s Vanity Fair

/ December 7, 2006

Dakota Fanning traveled to France to shoot this fairytale inspired spread in January’s Vanity Fair Magazine. The spready was shot by the weirdness that is Karl Lagerfeld. She played like several fairy princesses from Cinderella to Sleeping Beauty. I used to get freaked out by her and then I saw on her on like Regis & Kelly and homegirl is just a normal 11-year-old. I kind of like her now and hope she doesn’t start smoking crack next year and running dps and shit like her peers. That would be sad.

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Tom Cruise Really Hates Oprah

/ December 7, 2006

Oprah is not happy. She’s been left off the guest list for ANOTHER TomKat wedding. The two crazies are holding a special Wedding party this Saturday in Los Angeles for everyone that couldn’t make it to Italy. Oprah said that she understands why she wasn’t invited to Italy, because space was limited. Even though 500 guests were invited including JLo who really isn’t a TomKat friend.

A spokeswhore for the big O has confirmed that she hasn’t been invited to Saturday’s event either. Tom better watch himself, because he’s sooooo not going to be invited when Oprah finally marries Gayle.

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