Nicolas Cage is pissed off at Kathleen Turner for claiming he steals chihuahuas. In her upcoming autobiography, Kathy says, “He’d come across a Chihuahua he liked and stuck it in his jacket.”

Nic is not happy. Methinks his plugs are too fucking tight. He needs to lighten up. He told TMZ, : “I have never been arrested for anything in my life, nor have I stolen a dog. I am reaching out to my fans — many of whom are children — so they know that I do not condone drunk driving or theft. The reason why you’ve never seen a mug shot of me is because it does not exist.”

Kathy did Nic a favor. She actually made him sound interesting. He owes her one. What kids are fans of Nicolas Cage? Probably the same kind of kids that plot to take down Hannah Montana.

Animal experts have called the most famous polar bear in the world, Knut, a psychopath. RUDE! The star of the Berlin zoo was raised by humans after his bitch of a mom turned her furry back on him. One expert said that Knut has become addicted to humans and will never fuck another polar bear. Who needs those sluts? I heard polar bear cooze is oily.

He said he is completely divorced from nature. “Knut is a problem bear who has become addicted to human beings.”

All this drama is starting again, because there’s another polar bear cub named Flocke at the Nuremberg Zoo. Flocke’s momma is also a dumb whore that has rejected Flocke. Bitch probably wants to run away to Las Vegas to become a showgirl. Too bad her dreams will be shattered and she’ll be forced to turn tricks in the back of the Golden Nugget. Anyway, Flocke is now being raised by zoo keepers.

Since Knut and Flocke are psychopath outcasts, why don’t they get together. You know, shack up, get married and then try the sex thing. It’s a love story waiting to happen.

Source: Metro

Many people have mentioned this before, but I’m being serious. Have Jackie Stallone and Carrot Top ever been in the same room together. I doubt it.

Here’s Jackie or Carrot Bottom at the “Rambo” premiere in Vegas last night.

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Andy Cooper says no to Heath Ledger coverage – Just Jared

Demi Moore’s complete V Mag spread – Egotastic!

Camilla Alves is one hot pregnant chick (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Brit Brit’s 1am workout – Popsugar

Chantal Houghton wants to be Jordan sooo bad – Hollywood Tuna

Mel Gibson hates everyone – IDLYITW

Tinsley Mortimer’s grim photo-op – A Socialite’s Life

ScarJo as Princess Diana? HELLZ NO – Hollywood Rag

Tattoos of celebrities – Cityrag

Homosexuals! – SAYOR

Dlisted has been nominated for 2 Bloggies! Click here if you care to vote!

Britney’s cousin, Alli Sims, is going to events without Britney now? Ugh, what the fuck is going on? I hope this bitch’s album only gets released in Tasmania. Next thing we know, Carla the assistant is going to get a record deal. I shouldn’t joke, because it’s totally going to happen.

I’d rather see Britney’s Uncle Willie release an album! Seriously, click here to see Uncle Willie. He told his story to The Sun. His camper home is fucking gorgeous. Hopefully he has room for Brit. She’s going to have to move in soon.

Here’s Alli with a furry vagina on her head at the Pepsi STUFF launch party.

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