Extended Stay

/ January 31, 2008

TMZ reports that lil’ Brit Brit Spears has been classified as “G.D.” – Greatly Disabled. GODDAMN! That’s what I first thought when I saw G.D. It really means she can’t do anything for herself. She can’t do things like get food, clothes, shelter, basic needs. This also means she could be committed involuntarily. Brit’s apparently in some kind of manic state due to her bipolar disorder. She raised shit this morning and it took nearly two hours to fully admit it.

She reportedly shouted at her mother, “the only reason she’s admitting me is because she wants to be alone with her boyfriend! She wants to sleep with my boyfriend!!” Brit, I think you’re the only one that wants to sleep with Adnan. Actually, I think I would hit it. Well, his landing strip might feel good against my buttocks. You never know!

Brit also talked about her kids and how much she missed them.

We know that Brit can definitely get her own food. She can’t get healthy and good food, but she can get her own food. They are right about clothing part though. She obviously can’t dress on her own! She needs help with that shit.

I don’t know who the hell is leaking all this shit to TMZ! ONTD has a memo that went out to all UCLA Medical employees telling them to keep their shit shut and not look at people’s medical records aka don’t look at Brit’s shit.

Anyway, if she is classified as G.D. then hopefully they will keep here there for a while, so she can take a long ass nap, write in a journal and watch the Anne of Green Gables movies. Seriously, writing in a journal does wonders. I don’t know why and so does Anne of Green Gables. It’s a beautiful story.

Image: Fame Pictures

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Out On Her Ass!

/ January 31, 2008

TruTV (used to be Court TV) has shut down The Star Jones Show. The show debuted in August of last year. The network said it was a mutual decision and that Star would continue to serve as a legal expert for the network. She’s not a lawyer anymore!

That Star can’t hold down a job, now can she? That means Gay Al better dust the jizz from his ass and get to work pronto. What the hell does he do anyway? He can go-go dance at Splash in Chelsea at night and work the day shift at Banana Republic. They love the gays.

Star is one step closer to doing reality tv……….Dancing with the Stars here she comes!

Notice that Xenu (below) and Star have the same exact face. Have they ever been in a room together? Gay Al is totally checking a dude out in that pic above.

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Xenu Is Not Pleased

/ January 31, 2008

Several Scientology centers were shut down today in Southern California after they received mysterious envelopes of white powder. SARS! Envelopes were mailed to 19 addresses in Los Angeles and Orange Counties. Buildings were evacuated and some streets were closed. The FBI said the powder doesn’t look harmful and it’s probably just a hoax. They are conducting more tests.

I’m sort of disappointed that Scientology had to call the police. Don’t they have some high-tech labs with alien technicians to figure this shit out?

First Anonymous and now this…..Xenu is not going to be happy. We are testing his patience. I can picture Xenu sitting in his mom’s basement, playing Xbox and having to pause his game to take a call from David Miscavige. He rolls his eyes, jots something down in a notebook and continues with his game. One day he’s not going to continue that Xbox game and he’s going to wreak vengeance on us instead! Get your safehouse ready.

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Thanks Adriane

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The New Trend

/ January 31, 2008

Justin Chambers from Grey’s Anatomy checked himself into the psych ward at UCLA. Yes, the same joint Brit Brit’s at. TMZ reports that he checked in Monday and checked out yesterday. He probably knew Brit was coming and wanted to get out of there before she fucked him up even more.

Justin has 5 kids. His rep said that he was “exhausted and suffers from a sleeping disorder and went in voluntarily to get some help.” Yeah, I guess I would be tired too if I had 5 kids running around.

Brit is setting a trend! Rehab is out! It’s all about the psych ward. Expect the rest of Hollywood to follow. Oh and a little note to UCLA! If Paris should check herself in, give her shock therapy. She’s into that.

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Where She Belongs

/ January 31, 2008

Lynne Spears might have finally gotten a clue. PageSix.com reports that Lynne will take Britney back to Kentwood, LA when she’s released from UCLA. Brit’s lawyer said, UCLA Medical Center. “Lynne is extremely concerned for her daughter and would like to take Britney back home to Louisiana and get her out of Hollywood.” Lynne thinks she has to get Brit away from her current circle of hooligans.

That may be hard for Lynne to do since TMZ reports Brit was cursing her mother out this morning. She accused Lynne of sleeping with one of her boyfriends. I’m guessing KFed since Brit has accused her mother of sleeping with him before. I guess KFed’s dick is just as that good. Barf.

Speaking of KFed, he apparently wants her to get better. People reports that a source told them, “Kevin legitimately wants Britney to get better. He wants her to be in their sons’ lives. He wants them to have a loving relationship. He wants her to get healthy so she can be the mother they need and deserve.”

No! He wants that money.

Lynne needs to drag Britney back to Kentwood, get her more help and keep her indoors. I can give her a good recipe for a make-it-at-home Frapp. Yeah, I’m ghetto like that.

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Sarah Michelle Gellar Can’t Handle Andy Garcia’s Intensity

/ January 31, 2008

Sarah Michelle Gellar said that while shooting “The Air I Breathe” she had to walk off the set, because Andy Garcia was so realistically violent. In the scene Andy had to beat up Brendan Fraser and then turn on Sarah’s character.

She said, “I had a hard time separating the scene from what is reality. And at one point I had to leave. I didn’t know the scary side of Andy. I’m a small girl, and he doesn’t let go. When he throws me up against a wall – that’s actuality.”

Welcome to the world of working with real actors. You’re not acting opposite fake vampires anymore or CGI dogs.

She calls getting thrown around by Andy Garcia “scary” and I call it “hot.”

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Thanks m.e.

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