Threesome

/ February 7, 2008

ScarJo, Penny Cruz and Javier Bardem apparently have a threesome scene in Woody Allen’sVicky Cristina Barcelona.” This would be majorly hot if ScarJo was not included. Her big titties will only distract from the heat between Penny and Javier. ScarJo and Penny also have a lesbian scene. I’m sure Penny was loving that. I hope Salma wasn’t too jealous. She wants to be the only pair of enormous chi-chis in Penny’s life. Her breasts don’t like to compete.

A source told Page Six, “It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping.” Gasping is a strong word. I don’t think I’ve ever gasped in a movie. Well, there was that one time the popcorn kernel got stuck down my throat….if I ain’t being too subtle.

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LAME POON

/ February 7, 2008

Paris Hilton visited Harvard University yesterday to receive her “Woman of the Year” award by National Lampoon. She told the audience upon receiving her trophy, “Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine standing here. You people are so hot! Harvard is so hot!” Ugh, somebody put that trophy over her wonk ass already.

Paris later partied at The Estate where she reportedly talked about her mug shot. She said, “I like my mug shot. I think I have a really great mug shot. It looks like a magazine shoot.

Yeah, a magazine shoot in WonkWhoreEatsCaca Magazine. People need to stop feeding her ego. It’s getting bigger than her cooch warts.

Splashnewsonline.com

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