There’s A Depressing Custody Battle Going On Between Jay Mohr And Nikki Cox

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Eight months ago we found out that Jay Mohr filed for divorce from Nikki Cox. A few weeks later he changed his mind. Then last December, he filed divorce paper to quit Nikki Cox a second time. This second divorce filing appears to be the one that’s sticking. And just like his attempts at filing for divorce, their custody battle is also turning into a bit of a shit show.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

If you’re thinking to yourself, “Michael, you narcissistic bitch, why would you make one of your Grindr private pics a Hot Slut of the Day,” then I just need to tell you that I wish I had it like that!

This no-nose-having, gumball-headed marzipan pin-up with a bubble butt that could crush a titanium-wrapped diamond is the creation of animator and writer Kristen Lepore. Kristen created the jizzball head on a bottom twink’s body for Late Night Work Club’s anthology of short films called Strangers, which came out last year. The claymation video called, Hi Stranger, has made its way through the internet the past couple of days. It’s taken people on journey of emotions that starts at, “Do I fap to this?”, makes a stop at, “Errr, someone hold me,” makes another stop at, “Oh, he’s drawing me like one of his French girls,” and ends at, “Okay, I fapped to this, thrice.

The almost three-minute-long video starts with the broken condom baby of Powder and Gumby giving you a moment to take in his par baked biscuit nalgas before turning around and staring at you with a pair of eyes that are almost as dead as a Hadid’s. He then tells you that he misses you and allows you to sweep your eyes against his giant butt-tits. And just when you’re about to call 911, his soothing voice becomes almost meditative and calming. And when he said, “I love you,” at the end, I maaaaay have touched the screen and said, “I love you back.” It’s official, I’m a creepier and more desperate version of Joaquin Phoenix’s Her character.

And after the weird mixed feeling of uncomfortableness and soothingness left me, I suddenly wanted to do a dozen butt squats in a row. Yeah, this video is totally a sneaky ad for Suzanne Somers’ ButtMaster.

Pic: YouTube

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Birthday Sluts

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

Chaka Khan (64)
Princess Eugenie of York (27)
Ayesha Curry (28)
Brett Eldredge (31)
Steven Strait (31)
Nicholle Tom (39)
Michelle Monaghan (41)
Keri Russell (41)
Randall Park (43)
Gail Porter (46)
Poe (49)
John Bobbitt (50)
Richard Grieco (52)
Hope Davis (53)
Catherine Keener (58)
Amanda Plummer (60)
Kenneth Cole (63)
Ric Ocasek (68)
Michael Haneke (75)
Joan Crawford (1904-1977)

Pic: @ChakaKhan

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Night Crumbs

March 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Filter-free Trump hater Michael Shannon is reportedly the frontrunner to play Cable in Deadpool.  I know as much about characters in Deadpool as I do about calculus (I failed twice), but I am all about this for two reasons: 1. The shit he’ll say during the promo tour. And 2. The jorts he’ll wear during the promo tour. – Lainey Gossip

Joanna Krupa wanted her followers to know that she looks at views from a hot tub while not wearing a top – Drunken Stepfather

That skirt ScarJo is wearing looks like Queen Kong’s bush from here – Celebitchy

Something productive I did today: Stare at Emily RideAJetSki’s bikini bottom tan lines for 3 seconds – The Nip Slip

Because our TV screens haven’t been infected with enough CyrusesReality Tea

Here’s Megan Fox  in anotherFrederick’s of Hollywood ad where she’s giving you plastic from forehead to toe – Hollywood Tuna

Even U-Haul lesbians are telling Colton Haynes to slow down – Towleroad

The mini Love, Actually sequel still isn’t out yet, but there is a trailer now – Pajiba

Tragedy isn’t just a song by the Bee Gees, it’s also a word that describes the current state of Jessica Biel’s bangs – Popoholic

This baby looks like Ed SheeranOMG Blog

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! – Jezebel

I’m sure this story about Taraji P. Henson fighting with Nia Long on the set of Empire isn’t a shameless stunt to promote tonight’s episode – Just Jared

Chuck Barris has died and now the gong will never ever gong again – SOW

Pic: Wenn.com

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Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks Octopuses Are Too Smart To Eat

March 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Here we go again, Goopy Paltrow is talking about puss, but this time she’s talking about the brilliant sea aliens who are master escape artists. Goopy and Team Goop were having a conversation on Slack about L.A. restaurants when someone recommended the BBQ octopus at a place in Silver Lake. Goopy piped in and said that she’s done with eating octopus because they’re way too smart for humans to eat.

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Ashley Olsen And Her Financier Boyfriend Have Broken Up

March 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Despite it looking like the cover shot of a Nicholas Sparks novel called Daddy Issues, that picture above is actually of Ashley Olsen and her most recent boyfriend on vacation in St. Barts in January. Sadly, there will be no more Caribbean beach PDA for them.

UsWeekly says that after five months of dating, 30-year-old Ashley and 50-something financier Richard Sachs are over. A source tells UsWeekly it ended because she wanted to focus on her clothing line.

The source adds that they’re still friends and “hang out.” For people like you and me, “still hanging out” can mean sending a text at 1am for a half-hearted hook-up. But Ashley and Richard are super rich. So I choose to assume that “still hanging out” means they get together every Tuesday (the gentleman’s Friday) and dare each other to drink unfiltered tap water or ride the subway – no silk gloves! – with the general public.

If life were like a Hallmark movie, this would be the part where a meddling Mary-Kate Olsen takes Ashley aside after throwing a pot roast into the over for dinner, and urges her not to be so career-driven. (Takes long drag off cigarette) “You poor dear. Do you need me to set you up? I hear Jennifer’s grandfather is single!

Pic: Splash

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