Beyonce Gave Birth To A Twin Boy And Girl, There’s A “Minor Issue”

June 18, 2017 / Posted by:

I was in my usual place when Beyonce gave birth to a twin boy and girl on Monday in Los Angeles. It’s the place that I’ve been in during this entire pregnancy – on my knees, praying that I might get the chance to touch the hem of their garments at some point in my otherwise empty life.

TMZ is confirming that Bey and husband Jay Z are the parents of twins. Beymajesty and babies are still in the hospital due to a “minor issue” that hasn’t been identified. We can assume it’s because a vintage El Camino wasn’t driven in for her to give birth atop of for art’s sake. She’s not leaving that hospital bed until the situation is rectified. Continue reading

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Birthday Sluts

June 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Sir Paul McCartney (75)
Max Records (20)
Willa Holland (26)
Renee Olstead (28)
Melanie Iglesias (30)
Richard Madden (31)
Alex Hirsch (32)
Scooter Braun (36)
David Giuntoli (37)
Ben Gleib (39)
Blake Shelton (41)
Ray LaMontagne (44)
Kerry Butler (46)
Kurt Browning (51)
Robin Christopher (52)
Kim Dickens (52)
Dizzy Reed (54)
Alison Moyet (56)
Andrea Evans (60)
Carol Kane (65)
Isabella Rossellini (65)
Raffaella Carrà (74)

Pic: Pinterest

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Open Post: Hosted By Liam Payne Reading Erotic Fantasies About Himself Aloud

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

One Direction’s Liam Payne is considered sessy to a whole bunch of the group’s fans. Like any pop star, there’s all sorts of filthy fantasies written about him on Tumblr, Twitter, that secret Facebook group you’re in, etc.

Liam was nice enough to sit down for BBC Radio 1’s “Perv Pad” to read aloud what horny people are writing about him online. I was all set for fisting fantasies, but they were remarkably tame. Is there a red-band version of this? Also, that hoodie isn’t really erotic. Can’t he do this topless? This is a big fail, “Perv Pad!” “Only you can dance on me?” Amateurs.

Pic: YouTube

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Director Sam Taylor-Johnson On Her Marriage To A Younger Man

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Sam Taylor-Johnson is mostly known as the woman behind the first cinematic adaption of Fifty Shades Of Grey. It made scads of money, but the reviews were execrable. And apparently, E.L. James, the fan-fic authoress who somehow stumbled upon millions with the book, was a giant canker sore with which to deal during production.

But all of this aside, Sam is married to actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson. He looks like this. Do you think she gives a shit about how nobody except sopping-wet matrons liked her movie? She gets on that on the regular. And she’s still looking between the couch cushions for the fucks to give on what anyone thinks of her and her husband’s almost 25 year age difference.

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Pro-Trump Protestors Interrupted “Julius Caesar” In NYC

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Making America Great Again” apparently includes a shrieky harridan interrupting a night at the theater. The Public Theater’s latest production at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park is of Shakespeare’s Julius Caeser. It’s getting a lot of attention because the character of Caesar is modeled after our current Commander-In-Queef. He’s got “a long red tie, a blonde bouffant, and grabs his Slovenian-accented wife’s crotch,” according to the New York Daily News. Sounds familiar. This isn’t sitting well with the pro-MAGA set, so two of them decided to bust up the show last night. Continue reading

Carrie Fisher Died From Sleep Apnea (And Drug Use)

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

We’re still mourning the passing of Princess Leia (tn Carrie Fisher – one of the most delightful and witty actresses/authors/humans with whom the world had been gifted). I can’t pass an ornate gold and leather bikini and bondage collar w/chain without sighing deeply and sadly.

Carrie passed after suffering a heart attack on a plane in December of last year (aka “The Year Everyone Died“). The L.A. County Coroner’s Office has determined that her heart attack was caused by “sleep apnea” as well as other “unidentified factors,” according to People. The report also noted that she had “atherosclerotic heart disease” and that “drug use” was a factor. They’re not saying which drugs Carrie was taking but the report did note that “Fisher had taken multiple drugs prior to her death.”
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