Dolly Parton has postponed her U.S. tour, because those big ass titties have been giving her back problems. Dolly was set to start her tour on February 28th in Minneapolis, but the doctor ordered her to rest for at least 6 weeks. She’s looking to reschedule her tour for April or May. She’s still expected to go on with her European tour which starts in June.

Dolly released this statement:

“I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to get my new ‘Backwoods Barbie’ CD and world tour together, but I didn’t mean to hurt myself doing it! But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems. Seriously though, the doctors said I will be good as new in a few weeks, and I can’t wait to get back out there.“

Dolly needs to take those breasts down a few notches. It’s time. You want to be laying on your back, because you’re getting good loving and not because you’re gigantic breasts are giving you back problems. What’s the point of having giant ones if you can’t show them off?

Don’t listen to anything I just said Aretha Franklin. You must keep those giant chi-chis of yours. The world depends on it.

Source: Billboard

New mommy, Nicole Richie, was out again last night at a couple of Grammy parties. She was looking a little Rachel Zoe-esque. She didn’t have that “hungry for virgin blood” look on her face the way Rachel does, but she definitely had a little essence of Zoe. It’s sort of like the essence of Clenbuterol.

UsWeekly reports that this was Nicole and Douche Madden’s fourth party in two days. AWFUL PARENTS! Take away their sad clown baby now! Give her to Britney! She’s better off. Seriously, she apparently had a small glass of champs and only stayed out for a couple of hours. You know, because I’m checking and everything.