It’s actually a good thing for Sarah Michelle Gellar that she’s at an event for Vaseline. That’s exactly what she needs. She needs to take a big, fat jar of Vaseline and smear it all over her eyes. She needs to take a kleenex and wipe that shit clean. She also needs to take that Vaseline jar and lube up the ass of the gay that did this to her. She then needs to stick her leg up there as far as she can, so he knows never to do this to her again. Vaseline has so many practical uses.

The snail/shell earrings are another issue. I really hope that one of her nieces or nephews made those things for her in craft class. Those things should not be for sale. I wonder if she can hear the ocean in them. It’s saying, “you look fug.”