Star Magazine put together the perfect face for a man and woman using the results of a survey by Beverly Hills plastic surgeons Toby Mayer and Richard Fleming. Star morphed the most requested celebrity body parts to create the perfect face. Here’s what the two dbags above are made from:

Dude Dbag: Daniel Craig’s eyes, Leonardo DiCaprio’s nose, Matt Damon’s lips, Christian Bale’s jaw and John Stamos’ hair.

Chick Dbag: Katie Holmes’ eyes, Katherine Heigl’s nose, Keira Knightleys cheeks, Jessica Simpson’s hair and Angelina Jolie’s lips.

The dude basically looks like KD Lang! The chick looks like every other bimbo. If women want Jessica Simpson’s hair, they can have it. They just have to watch HSN and wait for Paves to come on selling his Barbie hair in a box and it can be theirs.

I’m surprised people want Heigl anything!

Milo does GQ and says he doesn’t mind Hayden and him being called HALO. HALO?! Pass me the bucket, I’m going to puke – Popsugar

Brangelina and Eastwood double date – A Socialite’s Life

Ricci & Witherspoon: Two alien heads are better than one – Hollywood Tuna

A Kate Beckinsale double feature – Egotastic!

Celebrity asses galore – Cityrag

Thrilling! Rachel Hunter buying toilet paper (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

ICYMI: The Gene Simmons sex tape – IDLYITW

Rihanna’s Brit Awards performance – Just Jared

Angelina collapses! Start your vigils – Hollywood Rag

Lance Bass keeps the stereotype alive – Mollygood

Having just one baby is obviously not good enough for celebsluts, so they now they are having two! The National Enquirer is reporting that Alba is definitely having twins. She has been telling all her friends and giving June 8th as her due date.

A source said, “Knowing that she’s going to have twins has turned Jessica’s life upside down. She and (fiance) Cash have had to scrap plans for a one-baby nursery and start all over again.” What’s to fucking change? Just throw in another crib and call it a day. These people are so high-maintenance!

I just hope that two brown babies pop out of her. She did say she’s “dreaming of a brown baby” and if she’s got one white and one brown, the white one is assed out. It’s going to grow up trying to put bronzer all over his body to make Alba happy. Poor things. Now two babies have to deal with that woman instead of just one.

Source

Thanks m.e.

Those curls are offending me. I think her curls are offending some Orthodox Jews too. Someone run your hands through them, but wear gloves. Here’s Lindsay in Milan attending the Dolce & Gabbana show today. She’s really not bronze enough. No, she’s not. She should take it all the way. She should just dip herself in bronze like a statue and get it over with. Everyone wins. She’ll finally be the bronze color she’s dreaming to be and we won’t have to hear her ass anymore since it will be bronzed shut!