Larry Continues To Cash In

/ February 23, 2008

Dannielynn Hope is about to go under the knife to get her cross-eyed fixed and Larry Birkhead has already promised to not allow cameras in. What’s a promise?A promise is just an opportunity for a lie in Hollywood. Page Six reports that Larry has already agreed to let The Insider and Entertainment Tonight into the hospital while DanniHope has her operation. He will reportedly take home $250,000.

Larry Birkhead denies this….well sort of. He said, “I don’t mind letting the world know how she is when she’s done, but no cameras will be there during the surgery. The only reason I spoke about it to begin with was because people blamed Anna’s medications when, in fact, it’s genetic.”

So he’s only bringing cameras into the hospital after the surgery? Great, just what Danni needs. A fucking camera in her face while she’s waking up from surgery. Oh Larry! You are seriously the greatest father the world has ever known. How is that we as humans have not devoted a whole country to you called “Fatherland” where you, King Father, can rule over the world’s children? You really are a gift.

I can’t wait for the next DanniHope chapters on The Insider. I’m guessing, “Danni’s First Poo On Her Own” and “Danni’s First Period” are next. I hope that “Danni’s First Beat Down On Her Daddy After She Finds Out He’s Been Putting Her Life On Camera” is after that.

UPDATE: Larry promises there will be no cameras at all! “I don’t mind letting the world know how she is when she’s done, but no cameras will be there during the surgery. The only reason I spoke about it to begin with was because people blamed Anna’s medications when, in fact, it’s genetic.”

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Run For The Hills, Boys!

/ February 23, 2008

Brit Brit will be allowed to see her lil’ moppets really soon. The Commish has agreed to give her some visitation rights in a therapeutic setting. KFed agreed to the new plan and The Commish has signed off on it. The deal calls for Daddy Spears and a shrink to be in the room with Brit Brit and her two boys. TMZ reports that the reason for the new deal is that KFed’s side is impressed with Daddy Spears ability to keep Brit in check aka drugged up. I’m joking. She’s better. Well, I don’t know if she’s better, but she’s staying inside more. I sort of miss her nightly ritual of Slim Jim hunting. We’ll always have memories.

KFed’s attorney said visitation will begin really soon, but wouldn’t say when. He also added, “We’re pleased that … the process of reinstating the children’s mother as a participant in their lives can commence.

The kids are probably like, “This ho again! Hopefully, she won’t try and lock my ass up with her like she did last time. I’m over her drama! It’s bad for my nerves. Is there going to be an open bar at this supervised visit too?”

Everything will be fine. What can go wrong with all those people in the room? You’re right. We are talking about Britney. They better get the Ghostbusters in there too, just in case.

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