Celebrities without necks – Celebitchy

Papa Joe is slipping! – I’m Not Obsessed

Heath Ledger’s fans want Mary-Kate Olsen dead – Mollygood

Mischa Barton looks like shit – SOW

Keira Knightley talks about her stupid tits again – Holy Moly!

Josh from BB9 attempts to educate the house on gay anal sex – Towleroad

Fascinating. Lindsay Lohan will host an art exhibition on her tattoos – ICYDK

Rachael Ray (Ugh, can I just call her Rachel? Fuck!) has adamantly denied that her marriage to John Cusimano sucks. The National Enquirer (via MSNBC) claims the bitch is lying. Sources tell them that her marriage will be over by the end of the year. EV OH NO! Sorry, I had to.

They went to visit her family over Christmas and it was apparent Rachael couldn’t stand his ass. A source said, “When they arrived, John stayed outside for 15 minutes. When he finally came into the house, Rachael acted like he wasn’t even there. She even closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to meet his gaze!”

They also didn’t sleep together. Rachael made him sleep in the cat’s bed. “He was sent off to sleep in a little upstairs loft that’s normally where one of Rachael’s mother’s cats sleeps.” That’s probably the most pussy he’s gotten in a while.

I’m sorry, but it’s pretty hard for a straight marriage to work when both of you like to suck dick. I shouldn’t say that. Gay Al and Star Jones have lasted much longer than I thought without some kind of gay scandal. It’s pretty depressing. I bet you John and Gay Al meet up at the local glory hole while their wives are at work.

You can tell John can’t stand her ass! He even wears headphones wherever he goes, so he doesn’t have to listen to her annoying ass!

A couple of weeks ago VoteForTheWorst posted pictures of American Idol contestant David Hernandez supposedly working as a stripper in some gay bar. I’m guessing the chicks in the picture above are just his hags. Well, it’s been confirmed that he used to shake his nuts and berries at a gay bar in Glendale, AZ.

A manager at Dick’s Cabaret told the Associated Press, “He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here.” The manager said he stopped working there in September of 2007. David apparently got fully nude.

Big deal! Who hasn’t stripped in a gay bar before? American Idol had no comment and it was not known if he was going to be kicked off the show. Kicked off? David is a good singer, but he might get more votes if he incorporated his strip routine while he was singing. Paula would probably go into a seizure and foam at the mouth.

There’s also rumors that David is gay and has been with the same dude for 2 years. Again, big fucking deal! They are all gay strippers on that show. I’m sure Simon Cowell has twirled his ass lips at least a couple of times for dirty old men.

Nicole Richie’s People magazine cover has outsold Xtina’s People cover. MSNBC’s The Scoop reports that Nicole and sad clown baby’s cover is on track to sell around 1.8 million copies. Xtina and Max didn’t even come close to that. A source said that Xtina never does well on covers.

They went on to say that people are intrigued by Nicole. “There’s also a greater element of curiosity with Nicole. She’s gone public about being a heroin addict. Her boyfriend is covered in tattoos. By default, she’s got the more interesting baby. People want to see how she settles down. They want to see what kind of baby someone with her background has.”

Interesting baby? Is that a nice way of saying she’s got an uglier baby. People do like seeing ugly babies. It makes them feel better about themselves. Those two babies look the same to me. Switch them and I wouldn’t even notice.

JLo is going to trump them all! JLo allegedly got paid around 6 million clams for her People Magazine cover. She better step it up if she wants to sell in this market. I’m proposing an all-nude family portrait. Well, everyone except Skeletor. I don’t think my retinas could handle seeing Skeletor’s bone.

The real loser in all of this is People Magazine for paying all that dough for these 3 skanks!

Dreamboat Doherty has a YouTube account where he uploads videos of himself usually singing to his cats. You know, thrilling shit like that. Yesterday, he uploaded a really short video of him puffing smoke out of some sort of chicken pipe. I want that chicken pipe! I would put incense in it though. Uh huh.

Several of the comments say it’s tobacco and not crack. This is Pete Doherty we’re talking about. It could be fucking anything. It could be crack, jenkem, freon, anything. He’s creative.

That being said, it’s kind of hot watching Dreamboat rim a chicken. I’m sure he used tongue.

VIA ONTD

On Saturday night in West Hollywood, Paris Hilton brought a Shaman to a popular restaurant where he blessed her in front of all the paps and everyone else. TMZ reports that her Shaman is a fake and a phoney. The dude’s real name is Maxie Santillan and he’s an actor. He’s been in “Pirates of the Caribbean” and “Mutant Vampire Zombies From The Hood.” All the classics.

He also has a MySpace.

Is Paris smart enough to put this little publicity stunt together or is she the one that got snowed by Maxie? Snowed, but not in the way she’s used to. She probably staged this little “spiritual awakening” for her new shitty reality show. Maxie can add “Paris’ bitch” to his list of his credits.

I knew this shit had to be fake. There’s no way a real holy man would get near that skank. That’s like dancing with the devil.