Almost every time I see pictures of Kate Moss, she’s being dragged out of a club by her boyfriend, Count von Count. Shouldn’t this slag be home reading bedtime stories to her daughter? Bitch is wasted. She probably goes home, knocks over some shit, wakes up her crying daughter and has to tell her in a slurred voice, “Go baaack to beeed. Mummy neeeds quiet time. Shhhhhh”

Drink some coffee Kate. You’re getting told for this shit.

My American Idol homegirl, Daniel Noriega, made this little Christmas MySpace video a little while and it’s come back to get him. Angst! I bet he owned every single item from “Emily the Strange.” It took me a while to figure out it was actually Daniel Noriega. I thought it was just some faux punk chick. MySpace is filled with those types.

In the video Daniel rolls his eyes to a Christmas song and then says, “I hope Santa Claus rapes your fucking mother and I hope you all get coal, because your all pieces of shit.”

This girl is soooo going to win. She gives the best Xmas greetings. And he doesn’t look like Jessica Alba for the record!

I’m getting major Chrissy Crocker vibes from this vid.

VIA TheDirty

Thanks Kenzi

Truly, truly outrageous! Whoooah JLo! Anyway, I’m done with that. That Jem! song is really the best ever. OK! So JLo has reportedly hired a full security team for her Dragon Tales twins. She didn’t stop there. She also hired a color therapist and a masseuse just for her babies.

A source said, “She has employed a professional baby masseuse to come in once or twice a week and is also superparanoid about hygiene. The twins’ wing is totally sterile and all flowers and presents are stored in a separate room, so they don’t contaminate the babies’ area.”

She also ordered 600-thread cotton sheets for them, diamond rattles and two ponies.

Mommie Dearest anyone? With all these stories of JLo’s outrageous gifts for her babies, I better see them in some couture shit when she finally brings them outside. Seriously, they better be wearing some Louboutins and Chanel couture onesies. I bet you Versace is making their diapers.

Only JLo would allow some stranger to fondle her babies. Babies do not need massages! That will only push the vomit and diarrhea out even more.

Source

No I haven’t finally met Phoebe Price! That’s a real pig, not me. Although, he has my eyes. PP posed with her new pork friend at the premiere of “College Road Trip” in Los Angeles last night. I hope PP kept that pig away from her chicken cutlets. Do pigs eat chicken?

Lily Allen was out partying last night and she came out of the club to find her new BMW busted up. Lily later took to her MySpace and blamed the paps for smashing up her window.

She wrote:

If you see photos in the press or online of my car window being “smashed by vandals”, I just want you to know that it was one of the many paparazzi who were following us who did it. There were so many of them hassling us that it is difficult to say which one of them did it but i had to leap in a taxi to get away from them, my friend Emily had to get into the car which was covered in broken glass and drive it away. It was a scary situation and i want people to know that it was totally their fault and that the whole situation has angered and upset me. Emily got cut from sitting on the broken glass and we are both horrified that people could behave in this way and get away with it.

Just buy a new one and move on. I love that she made her friend drive her smashed up car.

This is what happens when you have a car. When I lived in Los Angeles, this shit would happen to me all the time. One time, bitches busted up my car window and stole like 3 porn videos I had just bought. They didn’t take the car radio, but they took my porn. Rude. That’s a low blow without the happy ending.

I’m skipping lunch today and going Mario Cuomo hunting instead! This dumb whore co-hosts “Good Morning America” and this morning he said, “Harry has been over in Afghanistan fighting because he’s expendable.” Robin Roberts responded with, “What did you say” Robin! You should have slapped that dumb fuck.

Chris went on to say, “The reason that Harry is allowed to be in Afghanistan is because he’s not the heir to the throne. William’s not allowed to be there.”

If anybody is expendable it’s Chris Cuomo. Bring Charlie Gibson back and send this bitch back to wherever he came from. Again, Chris needs to learn how to stand there, look pretty and only read the words that have been given to him. No ad-libbing allowed!

VIA Newsbuster