Babies are Weird Looking

/ December 14, 2006

Let’s face it…infants are strange looking. They are cute in a prune sort of way. Anyway, Heidi Klum and Seal debuted their new project Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel to Gala Magazine. JRFTS was born only a month ago. He also has a 1-year-old brother and 2-year-old sister. So Heidi and Seal have 3 babies under 3. Painful.

I always think it’s weird when celebrity couples do picture spreads of their babies when they are so young. Shouldn’t they wait until they are a tad bit more “alive?” Whatevs, they look happy.

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Yoko Caught in Blackmail Scandal!

/ December 14, 2006

SCANDAL! Yoko Ono has been blackmailed by her driver. Hahahah. Koral Karson has driven the crazy Yoko for nearly six years. He obviously isn’t a happy employee since Yoko told police that he threatened to release pictures and audio tapes of her unless she drops $2 million into his wallet. It is unknown what kind of pictures or audio tapes he has. Please, don’t let them be nudies!

Elliot Mintz (yeah Paris’ bitch) is Yoko’s spokeswhore and claims Mr. Karson planned to kill Yoko and her son. Naturally. He said, “For an employee – especially a trusted employee who drove her – to attempt a shakedown has left her just absolutely shocked.”

DRAMA! SCANDAL! INTRIGUE! ASIAN ACCENTS! HATS! This has the makings of a wonderful Lifetime movie starring Bai Ling as Yoko!

UPDATE – Karson claims Yoko was trying to stop him from making sexual harassment complaints. SICK!!!!! Yoko has feeling down there?

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The Chupacabra Reveals Herself Again!

/ December 14, 2006

Rachel Zoe made her way into the dark to attend the D&G party last night. This is one of her first public outings since being fired by Nicole Richie. Not being able to suck the blood of Richie has certainly taken its toll on the chupacabra. Homegirl looks about 105!

She has the jawline of an old, white Republican!

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Are They Actually Smiling?

/ December 14, 2006

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen put together a few outfits from the Salvation Army to attend the Dolce & Gabbana charity auction hosted by Penelope Cruz last night. Yes, they are actually smiling! And yes they still look like wet cats!

Actually, Ashley doesn’t look that awful. But MK looks like she was playing Juliet in Shakespeare in the Park and got rained on! Let’s not speak about that outfit. I think a few alley cats gave their lives for that coat.

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