The End of a Beautiful (Fake) Friendship

October 30, 2006 / Posted by:

Posh Beckham was supposed to help Katie Holmes with all aspects of her wedding to Tom Cruise, but those plans have been put on hold after the BFFs have apparently had a falling out. The two took Paris Fashion Week by storm and looked like two lesbians from the 1950s. They attended all the shows in search for Katie’s perfect wedding dress. Giorgio Armani was hired to design the dress.

The two had a spat after Posh suggested that Katie drop a few before her wedding. A source said, “Victoria didn’t mean any harm, she just wanted to help Katie look her best for her big day. She offered to share her diet secrets but Katie immediately got defensive, saying she didn’t need any advice. Katie is really proud of the weight she’s managed to lose since giving birth to Suri in April and she doesn’t think she has to lose anymore.”

Diet secrets? Um…it’s no secret what this alien’s diet secrets are! They involve eating ice chips for breakfast, ice chips for lunch and a tic tac for dinner! Katie’s already lost a few anyway, a few marbles.

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Daniel Craig’s Other Large Shooter

October 30, 2006 / Posted by:

Is the new James Bond, Daniel Craig, sporting a huge one? His “Casino Royale” co-star, Judi Dench, said she caught a glimpse of his fat dick when he was dressing in his trailer which was across from hers.

She said, “It’s an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. How uncouth of me!”

That dirty old woman! She’s hot. It has been rumored that Daniel is working with a large one, but I just don’t see it. These pics were leaked last year and I’m not impressed. Who am I fooling? I’d hit it.

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They Can’t Cancel KFed!!!

October 30, 2006 / Posted by:

I am one of the probably 6 nimrods that shelled out $20 for the KFed concert at Webster Hall in New York City. Looks like ticket sales have been bleak and the November 4th show is endangered of being cancelled. His Cleveland show was already cancelled due to lack of interest.

KFed’s album “Playing with Myself” is set to debut tomorrow, on Halloween.

NOOOOO!!!!! They can’t do this to me! Well, they are probably doing me a favor and saving me from going crazy and tearing my ears out with my teeth. This was seriously making my week and now what do I have to look forward to? I must pray to the white trash Gods above that this will not happen.

His album is seriously going to debut at like #1,345,678.

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Madonna Can’t Keep Her Yapper Shut!!!

October 30, 2006 / Posted by:

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Madonna and David Banda arrived in the States yesterday to blab more about the adoption. Madge has already told her story on Oprah, but she isn’t stopping there. She arrived in NYC where she will appear on NBC News, The Today Show and Dateline. Lourdes and Rocco came along for the ride.

In other David Banda news, his birth father has backed off claims that he didn’t know Madge was taking his son for good and now says he is fine with everything. He’s happy that Madge and Guy Ritchie will give his son a good life.

Why is she blabbing about this again? That’s the thing with Madge, she can’t let things go. She went on Oprah and set the record straight, shutting up a lot of people. Don’t we know everything already?

That being said, I want a Banda.

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The Richie Hits the Floor

October 30, 2006 / Posted by:


Nicole and company arriving at Area nightclub in Hollywood

I guess Nicole Richie isn’t in rehab anymore to get fat. According to TMZ she apparently passed out at Hyde nightclub in Hollywood at 2 a.m.

According to witnesses, Nicole fell to the floor and an employee was about to call 911, but her friends told him not to. They carried her through the back door and promised the staff they would take her to the hospital. It was unknown why she collapsed or if she was taken to the hospital.

Nicole’s spokeswhore confirms she was at Hyde that night, but denies that she collapsed.

TMZ doesn’t have video of this?! I’m surprised. Don’t they live at Hyde?! I’m sure Nicole passes out on a daily basis. When you don’t eat actual food that feed your body nutrients and protein this sort of thing happens. Her friends probably know and are always standing around just in case.

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Go Britney Go!!!

October 30, 2006 / Posted by:

Brit Brit Spears is so cliche. She went go kart racing with Jamie Lynn and JL’s boyfriend. She was on the phone most of the time, probably with KFed.

“Hey y’all KFeds, I’m in a little blue go kartz and it is awesome! Love you pumpkin pie…who that girl voice? That’s JJ?! He spoke his first words and his first words were ‘come to bed daddy?’ He is so smarts!”

Her legs look hot sans those pink fuggs!

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