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Olivia Wilde (24)
Carrie Underwood (25)
Cristian de la Fuente (34)
Eva Herzigova (35)
Jon Hamm (37)
Page Brewester (39)
Edie Brickell (42)
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Prince Edward (44)
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Chuck Norris (68)

HoHan stepped out in NYC today to help the homeless and feed the children. No, of course not. Bitch went out to shop. How many leggings and fugly scarves does one ho need? HoHan also looked like she finally took a Brillo pad to her face and washed off years and years of tanning spunk. You would think bitch would look better, but I’m not so sure. She has slight abortion face with a touch of hangover face. Maybe that’s why she covers her shit with all that fake tanner.

Samantha Ronson accompanied HoHan while she spent money she doesn’t have. Those lezzzzzies! I just know they are bumping clam holes. I don’t blame HoHan. Sammy looks like she could pull an ovary out with her finger banging skills. If they were an annoying Disney TV show they would be called “Lezzies McGuire.”

The shit went down like a bad herpes outbreak in the Big Brother house today. You see, two alliances are battling it out. It’s all very high school. High School with a lot more STDs and plastic body parts. I just wish CBS would give them guns and let them shoot each other.

In this little clip above, Chelsia (who probably thinks she looks like Posh with that haircut) confronts Cheri Oteri’s evil twin aka Nat for saying she has a smelly twat. She asks Nat to smell her punane. You know Nat wanted to bite at it, because she’s a dirty skeeza! A few minutes later, James pours some shit on Nat’s head followed by Josh throwing ice water at her face. I don’t think that’s the first time Nat’s had back-to-back loads on her face.

Visit BB Couch Potatoes to see many more videos of the afternoon’s events. Dramz.

Oh and Matt also dropped the N-word.

CBS, you have our permission to lock the doors and gas the joint, but make sure you put it on the live feed.

Thanks Dr. Detroit and WrecklesssLove

Carmit Bachar of The Pussycat Dolls has announced that she’s leaving the group. The girls probably found out that doll didn’t have a pussy. Carmit wrote on the group’s website:

Dear PCD fans,

I wanted to be the first to tell you that I am no longer in the Pussycat Dolls but we will always be sisters forever! Thanks to all the dedicated fans for your unconditional love and support! Exciting news is coming and I promise to keep you all posted!

Much love,
Carmit

That bitch was my favorite! I always love the ones with dicks. She’s probably going to finally get the snip. You go Carmit! Skip into the world and become the woman you’ve always wanted to be.

Since there’s an opening the group, I’d like to the propose the perfect (and I mean perfect) replacement. This bitch was born to be a Pussycat Doll. And I present to you:

Yup, we’ve got another one.

Meat head Matt Damon and his wifey, Luciana, are expecting another baby reports People. Luciana stepped out in London with Matt last night and was obviously knocked up. Their rep said, “They couldn’t be happier. They’re so excited!”

The two have one daughter, Isabella, together born in 2006 and Luciana has a 9-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.

I don’t even know what to fucking say. They are just so boring. That’s a good thing for them I guess. They probably talk about boring things like politics, sports, all the different ways to cook chicken and draperies. Boring couples love to talk about draperies. Don’t ask me why.

Sarah Larson, take a good look at your future. Luciana was a bartender when she first met Matt Damon and now she’s spending her days shopping and yelling at the nannies. Lucky ass whore. On second thought, she’s boring so she’s spending her days cutting the crust off of sandwiches and puffy painting her daughter’s names on their underwear.

TMZ reports that some bitch placed a 911 call claiming Heather Locklear was going to try and off herself. Amanda Woodward would never go down like that. The call was not made from Heather’s house. The fire department and two paramedics were sent to Heather’s Thousand Oaks home yesterday and quickly figured out Heather was fine. They checked out her out and found her to be responsive. They left 10 minutes later.

OH SHIT! I know who was behind this little prank. Allison fucking Parker! That bitch never got over the fact that Billy always wanted Amanda. Always! Get over it Allison! I knew that bitch wasn’t as good as she pretended to be.