I’ve always known in my heart of hearts that Ginger Spice’s sumptuous angel voice does miracles, but now there’s proof. 14-year-old Jessica Knight was left in a coma after she was stabbed and suffered a stroke. The young girl was clinging to life when Geri Halliwell made a visit to her hospital bed. Geri wanted to heal Jessica the only way she knew how…..with her voice.

A source said, “Geri sang a couple of lines of one of their songs and Jessica started moving her arms and legs. It was amazing. We were all in fits of giggles because we were so relieved and it was just so funny seeing her legs move to Geri’s singing. The next day, she opened her eyes for the first time. You just don’t expect to be sitting in the hospital and for Geri Halliwell to walk in. She gave me a big hug and said that Jessica’s story had really touched her.”

The young Jessica doesn’t remember Geri visiting her at all. Yeah, I tend to block every memory I have of the Spice Girls too. Well, except Spice World The Movie. That was the shit right there.

Doctors didn’t want to break the news to Geri that the real reason Jessica moved her arms and legs was because Geri’s hideous voice almost sent the girl into another seizure.

Jessica is doing well and is going home soon. All thanks to Geri!

Source

Thanks Robert

In case you missed it! Yesterday, The Sun posted this video of a creepy gnome freaking out a town in the province of Salta in Argentina. A group of Argentinean teenagers were shooting the shit, talking about Evita or whatever the hell they talk about when they saw a little coned creature in the distance. The creature approached and the dudes started flipping out. They caught it all on camera.

One of the teenagers told their local paper, “We were chatting about our last fishing trip. It was one in the morning. I began to film a bit with my mobile phone while the others were chatting and joking. Suddenly we heard something – a weird noise as if someone was throwing stones. We looked to one side and saw that the grass was moving. To begin with we thought it was a dog but when we saw this gnome-like figure begin to emerge we were really afraid.”

The teenager said that they are all really freaked out and can’t leave their houses. One of the boys even went to the hospital. HA! “Doctor…..doctor….a gnome….he….was going to kill me!!!” The doctor probably turned the nurse and said, “LSD OD! Get the charcoal.”

Now that I think about it, that’s not La Pequena. She’s way too busy traveling the world as an International superstar. I’m just going to take a guess and say Ashton Kutcher has taken his pranking global. He probably made one of the Willis fugs wear a traffic cone and dance a jig into the night.

Thanks M.E.

Lindsay Lohan needs new people and by “new people” I mean a new mom. I’m sure White Oprah is the one that convinced HoHan to star in this piece of shit. Actually, it was probably Jared Leto’s new fat dick that convinced her the old-fashioned way. Here’s the trailer for “Chapter 27” which was shot like 50 years ago, but is coming out later this month. It’s the movie where Jared Leto got really fat in hopes of winning in Oscar. He’ll be lucky if he wins a Razzie. He plays the dude that shot John Lennon and Lindsay Lohan plays…well…it looks like she plays Lindsay Lohan.

Eff this movie. Let’s get back to the topic of fat dick. When a dude gets fat, does his dick get fatter or smaller? Questions like this always keep me awake at night.

Oh and this movie should go straight to the $1 theater.

Source: BWE

Even the fraternity boys left those Budweiser kegs untapped. – Hoozer

Runners-up:

So we’ve got two full-bodies, one light and one regular? – ISprainedMyUvula

Scratch and dent sale day at the Budweiser plant. – Dustin

See more pics of the 2008 coleslaw wrestling competition here

Dreamboat Pete Doherty! – It’s Pete Doherty Day here which means the crack is on me! I’ll meet you in the back alley during your coffee break.

In case you’ve never seen it, click here to see Petey sort of naked. I adore him even though he needs to take a machete to that bush!

Pete Doherty (29)
Eva Herzigova (35)
Aaron Eckart (40)
Darryl Strawberry (46)
Courtney B. Vance (48)
Ron Jeremy (55)
James Taylor (60)
Liza Minnelli (62)