Barefoot & Pregnant
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban went on a lovely stroll on Bondi Beach in Sydney today. They were probably discussing what they are going to do when Nicole’s face falls off due to lack of Botox injections. It will be fine. The baby won’t be scared at all. The baby will confuse Freddy Krueger for its mommy, but that’s not such a bad thing. It won’t cry during horror movies.
Some women usually want a glass of wine after giving birth, but Nicole is going to scream for Botox.
Fiona Shackleton Has A Lot Of Self-Control
A witness said, “Heather was so angry, she tipped a glass of water over Fiona Shackleton’s head, leaving her with soaking wet hair. Everyone was stunned. That kind of behavior is just not acceptable.”
Ms. Shackleton is definitely an elegant lady. I would have been in prison for beating Heather with her own fake leg. I think that would be everyone’s first instinct. She would need all those millions to fix her face.
Thanks Thomas
Coming To America!
The most loved woman in the world, Heather Mills, has hired Gloria Allred to be her attorney in the United States. Lock up the billionaires! Heather is coming to town. Gloria spoke to PageSix.com and said she’s honored to represent her. That’s just lawyer talk for “bitch is paying me a lot of money.” Gloria is saying all this nice shit now, but wait until Heather hops away from her bill. She’s known to do that.
Gloria said, “Heather was delighted with the outcome today. It was about justice. Heather was a winner before she met Paul, and she will continue to be a winner. I admire Heather for her charity work.” Gloria also talked about Heather’s wish to keep the judgment private to the public, “It’s my preference that everything be kept private because of Heather’s daughter. However, if it’s going to be made public, then everything should be made public, including the complete transcripts from the proceedings. Heather has often been treated unfairly.”
Too bad bitch! The 58-page judgment was released today. The judge felt Heather was “inaccurate, inconsistent and less than candid.” Yup, that pretty much sums her up. The judge went on to say that Heather claimed she revived Paul McCartney’s career. It goes on and on. The Daily Mail has a full run down. Basically, the judge paints Heather as a gold digger who tried to get as much as she could out of Paul. She wanted EVERYTHING.
And what the fuck did Heather wear to court yesterday? George Jefferson wants his suit back!
Morning Wood
Who to believe? Kristin Davis has denied she has a sex tape – Celebitchy
Reese is totally beating Jakey G – I’m Not Obsessed
Simon Cowell hearts Gaycrest – Mollygood
George Clooney will not be Dr. Ross again – ICYDK
JLo totally had a face lift – SOW
Kurt Cobain is rolling in his grave – Best Week Ever
Colin Farrell and Lily Cole? – Lainey Gossip
R.I.P. Anthony Minghella
Oscar-winning director Anthony Minghella has passed away at the age of 54. His agent confirmed his death, but didn’t give any details.
Anthony won an Oscar in 1996 for directing The English Patient. He also directed Mr. Wonderful, The Talented Mr. Ripley and Cold Mountain. He just completed work on The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency.
Anthony was also father to actor Max Minghella.
This came out of nowhere. Sad. Mr. Wonderful is one of my all-time faves.
UPDATE: His rep said that Anthony, “succumbed to a fatal hemorrhage early Tuesday morning at Charing Cross Hospital in Hammersmith, west London.”
We Want Suri!
How dare Katie Holmes leave her prison without bringing Suri Cruise out! She needs to go home, unplug Suri, attach her head and bring her out! It’s been much too long. It’s taking forever to recharge Suri’s batteries. Tommy Girl should use Energizer. It keeps going and going…
Here’s Katie leaving Joan’s On Third after lunch with “friends.” Imaginary friends! Their names are Dawson, Jen and Pacey. The waiters don’t care. Dawson tips big.
