Donatella Versace Braves The Light Of Day

/ March 18, 2008

Donatella Versace is one of those super vampires! They are the most dangerous kind. I didn’t think it was possible for her skin to be exposed to natural sunlight, but I was wrong. She pulled herself out of her fabulous solid gold coffin to appear on the “Today” show this morning. On second thought, it could have been Hatchet-Face and I wouldn’t have know the difference.

Someone needs to text Donatella to let her know that the coke nose is starting to droop. It’s time to schedule another routine crank up.

Read more…
SHARE

Heather Mills Is Not Going Away Anytime Soon

/ March 18, 2008

Heather Mills will follow-up her acclaimed performance as crazed water attacker by being a judge on The Miss USA pageant. ExtraTV reports that Heather has been asked to judge the T&A show and she’s accepted. The pageant will take place on April 11th in Las Vegas. Donny and Marie Osmond are set to co-host.

Heather is turning out to be one of the most disappointing gold diggers of all time. I thought Marla Maples sucked, but Heather is the worst. Doesn’t this trick know that you’re supposed to disappear after you win the money. Bitch needs to buy an island, buy a few slave midgets to carry her one-legged ass around and enjoy herself. Instead, she agrees to judge some 3rd rate pony show? Embarrassing!

I will be tuning in hoping that the audience boos her when pill-popping Marie introduces her.

P.S. – I’m watching American Idol right now and it’s Beatles night AGAIN! Heather should have been a guest judge on this crap! She would have hated every single performance, “It’s not you. It’s the song!

P.P.S. – That’s an actual court sketch of Heather Mills pouring water over the head of Paul’s lawyer. HIGH ART!

Read more…
SHARE

Bitch I Stole Yo Purse

/ March 18, 2008

This is Wendy Ho and this bitch is hot. I can finally replace Heidi Montag’s Higher with Wendy Ho’s Bitch I Stole Yo Purse. Seriously, Higher is my fucking ringtone. I put that shit on as a joke, but it’s not a joke when you’re standing in line at the grocery store and that shit goes off. People look at me like they can’t wait to jump my ass. I understand where they are coming from. Heidi is terrible. Anyway, here’s Wendy’s info:

Wendy Ho was raised in a trailer court, and overindulged with too many episodes of 227 and Good Times! However, this Nubian princess hasn’t always been black. After moving to NYC from Kansas City, she spent years on the streets of Harlem hustlin, hoin, and flowin.

Ho started writing songs about her experiences as a white trash girl gone ghetto ho in HarlemUSA. The Ho & Mo Show was widely acclaimed by audiences during her nine month residency at Therapy in NYC. Her very own monthly variety show, The Wendy Ho Show at Caroline’s on Broadway featured headliners Judy Gold and Susie Essman. She is currently developing and starring in her own one woman show, The Gospel According to Ho, which features music from her debut album of the same title. She will steal your purse, warn you about the dangers of flossing your teeth before giving head, and demand that “you feather Susan’s Loochey.” Her debut video, “Bitch I Stole Yo Purse,” is currently running on Logo’s NewNowNext.

Bitch I Stole Yo Purse” is my shit. “I take yo purse and I take yo man too! I take him to a party and fuck him in the bathroom! While you’re wondering where yo purse is at I’ll be sucking your man’s cock!Fergie will be covering this song in 3 months. Trust!

Oh and the by the way…Wendy Ho isn’t serious. It’s comedy people! Check out her MySpace and listen to this shit!

Read more…
SHARE

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >